Ahh! I don't know how you do it. Big muscles are so ewwwww. That said, it was very tightly written-- it felt real enough that I was made uncomfortable by references to chest hair (eww!)
Two particular lines I noticed:
"He’d always distrusted that swimsuit model, ever since Dudley had nailed her up last year." I can't explain why, but this particular way of describing him being jealous of the poster was a great detail.
"Everything Dudley said was so pointless to him, but he hung onto every single word." So true! When you have a crush it feels exactly like this when s/he talks about something you could not care less about.
OMG!!!!! I'm so glad that I got you to continue!!!!! I really love your stories, and this new chapter just put the icing on the cake!!!! I lvoe how you show Dudley as being in control and all manly like!!!!! Oh, and the "Jennifer" part was priceless. Dudley is making Piers his new bitch!!!! LOL!!!! PLEASE DO MORE!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAASEEE!! This would be a great series.
Wow. I couldn't even remember who this kid was, but this story is amazing. I thought that it would be some horrible drabble that made no sense and seemed to be written by a third grader. I've been proven wrong.
You are an amazing writer. I first only clicked on this story because I was bored and wanted to read soemthing new. I've become addicted now!!
I'm not sure how you are going to progress with this story, but I really hope that you do. Jennifer...heh. I'd love to see some dress-up going on ;D Maybe some role-playing? But I would love it if Dudley ended up being gay...
I also would like to request that there's no 'Parents find out and cause angst' drama like that. This secerative smut it really amazing and it is hard to find stories out there that are really well written sex that still keep your intrest without going overboard. I believe that you have/will be able to accomplish this.
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