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Reviews for Ron's Predicament

By : perverted_mind69
  • From Rayrobles on July 20, 2018

    That was surprisingly hot. 


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  • From AFFModerator on June 11, 2017

    Your story has been hidden for missing tags/story codes.

    Please check the email box associated with your AFF account for more information. If you no longer have access to this account, please contact tos_team@adult-fanfiction.org for more information.

    CL Mustafic,

    AFF Archive Moderator


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  • From frix on June 10, 2017

    I like the overall idea of it but there are a few things to consider going forward.

    1. It escalates too quickly. It went from "minor excuse to help Ron's constipation" to full blown sex in two sentences in a way that was never explained. try to built it up more slowly and keep the bullshit flowing. It would have been way better had Ron kept on believing this was all a normal medical procedure as he was getting assfucked ('this is to make sure it doesn't happen again' etc.)

    2. Their ages are also problematic. They are 12 in this story, which is both really weird and also unbelievable biology-wise. I would set it during their later years when they are 16/17 instead. Or at least give athrowaway line how "magic speeds up puberty" or some nonsense.

    To end this review here's a potential idea for a future chapter

    * in order to "test the polyjuice" Hermione transforms into Harry and they doubleteam Ron because "we need to compare how accurate the transformation is, you know: for science and stuff". They keep up the charade that this is all normal and Ron genuinely believs it.

     

     


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