Reviews for NAUGHTY GAMES

BY : Mistress


  • From Snapeswhore on September 03, 2017

    "Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you all wind up, I just need to go to the loo. I’ll be right back.”

     

    For this sentence: "wind" should be "wound" I know it is spelled the same as an injury or wound you get when hurt but same spelling means also wound tight and is pronounced differently . wound (woo nd), injury. wound  (wow nd), past of wind (by wind I mean like a clock not like air blowing). Being wound too tightly is to be stressed or tense. Jeez I never realized how confusing English could be LOL. Anyway you're doing a great job. 



    Report Review


  • From Snapeswhore on September 03, 2017

    "back and drugged them down trying her best to hold on to him,"

     

    For the above sentence: "drugged" should be changed to "dragged"

     

     



    Report Review


  • From wildkitsune on August 18, 2017

    I haven't gotten into it yet, but I want to suggest a grammar correction that would make your story A LOT easier to read.  See whenever a new person starts talking it should start a new paragraph.  This makes it so it is easier to understand a conversation as it goes on.  Hope this is helpful.



    Report Review


  • From Citten on August 17, 2017

    Oh my! Loving this story ! Can't wait to see where this goes ;)

    Only one thing I beg..... seperate when each person talks. It is really hard to read with twenty sentances in one paragraph.

    I am looking forward to the next chapter to see what happens next!



    Report Review


  • From Poppie-Peanut on August 11, 2017

    Hi there, I'm new to reviewing and I'm not a writer so I have nothing constructive to add and no critique for you! I just wanted to say that I love this intro and your writing style, I'm looking forwards to what your naughty, chilled Snape is going to get up to.



    Report Review