Reviews for The Unbroken

BY : Desert_Sea

  • From archer_elf87 on October 23, 2018

    This is very well written and it keeps me on the edge...wanting to know what happens. Can't wait for the next chapter!

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  • From Cheese_And_Crackers on October 13, 2018

    Amazing writing! Looking forward to more updates! 

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  • From Clem_ on September 23, 2018

    This fanfiction is truly amazing ! I’m waiting for the new chapters since moooonths :( please update !

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  • From OracleObscured on July 05, 2018

    I had to dig through my notes to find this chapter (as I started this when you posted on AO3). Now I’m not sure I remember what I wanted to say about the chapter. I’ll just have to read it again to find out :) 

    Okay, I’m back. Plan didn’t work. I got distracted/inspired and went straight from this to reading hardcore spanking erotica. I guess all’s well that ends well though :)

    At least I refreshed my memory on this chapter.

    “He followed with a soothing palm that ventured lower, gliding along the downy edge of her crevices before riding up to ease the tension with a delicate fingertip at the ridge of her tailbone.”—Uuuuuuunnnnnnggggh! Yes! Please may I have some more?

    “dissociated even from the organ whose contours should have been sending some serious warning signals to her brain to cease and desist.”—Hahahaha! Love this. Delicious wording <3

    “It was time to find out exactly what she was dealing with.”—And this ending could not have been more perfect. Devious cliffhangers are my favorite <3 <3 <3

    I won’t say I’m on tenterhooks for the next chapter, as I’ve already read it, but I’ll be back to review when you get it up. (Definitely looking forward to the chapter after that though :))


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  • From OracleObscured on June 18, 2018

    Arrggggh! So much subtle tension in this chapter. Brilliant! Hermione seems so broken but not broken. She’s holding herself together by shutting herself off, and it’s both heartbreaking and totally relatable. Who hasn’t shut themselves down just to keep going? Who hasn’t blocked out the sadness in the hopes of maintaining sanity? And it’s so Hermione to be focused on freeing the other slaves (which also helps keep her sane). She’s doing so much to keep herself afloat. Which is an exhausting way to live.

    And I doubt she’ll get a break anytime soon. 

    The moment between her and Severus was wonderful. And nerve-wracking. And scary. And intriguing. I need more! I’m still mystified by what she plans to do with her sexual knowledge? Is she going to try to seduce him so he doesn’t rape her? Or is she trying to find a way to keep herself “ready” so it’s not as painful? I’m mystified.

    Loved the convo between her and Draco too. So in character. (And dark and funny. And sad.) 

    (Room of Reconciliation—did you mean Room of Requirement? I honestly thought you had made up a new room until you said the used it to get to Hogsmeade.) 

    Duress—Mmmm, word notebook.

    prepared, according to this latest rather graphic diagram, to swallow just a little more than that.—Oh gods, such a perfect ending.

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  • From OracleObscured on June 09, 2018

    Or, maybe, I hadn’t read the chapter yet, and that’s why I didn’t have any notes for it. WTF? How did I convince myself I’d already read this?

    My favorite part of this chapter (not counting what I saved below), was Hermione’s insight into Snape. Such a clever detective she is; I love that she’s already figuring him out.

    And the bit with Draco was fucking hilarious. The whole thing was great <3

    Cosseted—Mmmmm, word notebook *drool*

    “By ‘you know whom’”—Bahahaha! The grammar nazi in me found this waaaaay too funny :D

    “I’m not one to fly in the face of popular opinion,”—Burn! :) Perfection.

    And I think she might have enough information now to eventually work out the method behind his cruel/kind madness. I’m definitely eager to find out what she’s looking for in the books from the library. Tricky tricky girl :)

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  • From OracleObscured on June 08, 2018

    Well I just went procrastination crazy this past week or so, didn’t I? Fuck. I have these saved favs, but I’ve lost my train of thought with most of them. But I’ll try my best. I don’t want to wait any longer, or you might sneak in  another chapter :)

    “I still haven’t forgiven you for working out my cunning anagram so early in ‘The Book that Binds’”—Hahahaha! I forgot all about that. That was one of my smarter moments. I’m quite proud of myself :)

    And now I have to go look up all the words you told me about brains. So interesting.


    “When she finally had both arms clear and the dress was pooled like a deflated circus tent around her waist,”—Fabulous description :)

    “This was his fault. He had no right to her gratitude. But there it was, blossoming like the first buds of Spring within and through her.”—Love this. The no right to her gratitude part was my fav, but I also loved the returning Spring reference.

    “It simply sagged, her obstinate curls trying desperately to hold their unseemly form.”—This is so fucking perfect. And an accurate description of my hair all through junior high and high school.

    “until her intractable crab of hair began to release its pincer-like grip on her scalp.”—Gaaaah! This is wonderful! 

    “into the lines of stress that traversed her poor, perpetually-burdened cranium”—This is so Hermione. Love it <3

    Now I have to find my notes for the next chapter. (Or read it again and make new ones; I don’t see them anywhere.)

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  • From OracleObscured on May 27, 2018

    Gah! This was so good! So bitter and dark, but the writing makes it so sweet. Like 90% dark chocolate—it’s got bite, but you want to eat it anyway. And I can’t get enough :)

    Snape’s duplicitous actions (and words) are deliciously revealing. (Your anagrams are showing, Dr. Lecter.) He’s got her where he can keep her safe (and use her for brewing), but I don’t think he has any intention of bringing her into whatever plan he’s hatching (as that would endanger both of them, and I doubt he trusts anyone but himself). And if he’s not only maintaining a front but also constructing alternate realities in his head to fool Voldemort, his seemingly bi-polar behavior becomes far more predictable. (But of course he can’t tell her that :))

    The bit about altering his memories was brilliant. About ten or fifteen years ago I heard a doctor/scientist talking about how unreliable our memories are and how we’re constantly rewriting the past whether we realize it or not (usually to fit our narrative of ourselves and the world). It’s always made memories/pensieves a very interesting facet of the HP world for me. Are those memories accurate? Is that the benefit of the pensieve? Is there a part of us that retains the original memory, unaltered? Or are our individual perceptions what create a memory? Would they cease to exist without our unique perspective? Are we remembering events or the way that event made us feel? Is anyone ever seeing the “truth?”

    For the purposes of HP writing, I like to think there’s an unconscious part of us that can recall the events as they actually happened. But in real life, I don’t know if I think that’s true. (Or maybe I just think there are so many layers of feelings attached to memeorable events that it would be nearly impossible to separate them. But maybe without our individual viewpoints, those events don’t matter. Perhaps it’s simply what they mean to us that keeps them alive/gives them meaning.)

    Just me rambling out loud (through my fingers). You do like to make me ponder my exsistence :)



    Snidery—Mmmm! Word notebook <3

    “The serpentine hiss that issued from Voldemort’s mouth chilled and mocked in equal measure”—Excellent description.

    “Voldemort tapped his index finger in a slow, deliberate rhythm as he ran his pale tongue with excruciating languor along the cracked ridge of his bottom lip.”—Love the visual.

    “who, in my opinion, is little more than an indolent lout.”—Bahaha! I love it when Snape‘s insults take on an erudite air :)

    “Half of her face was still hot and aching from the blow.”—Great visceral detail. Pulled me into her story <3 

    “The knot in her stomach was a permanent fixture. And it reminded her to be vigilant. She could never trust this man, and he’d made it easy for her to realise that.”—First off, I love the knot being a permanent fixture line. It’s very personal and intimate and draws you into her world. But I also love what the rest of this says—he’s warning her to stay on her toes. He’s not being nice or particularly gracious (probably because he wants her to live). He’s not playing games with her; he wants her alert. And there is some relief in thinking you can’t trust someone. There’s no back and forth; no shades of grey. It’s all black and white, good and evil. And that’s often easier to deal with. It’s a bit of a kindness on his part (even if it makes her miserable).

    “and she was sweltering like a beef wellington in her ridiculously impenetrable dress.”—Hahaha! Lovely description.

    “something hard, pressed into the small of her back like the barrel of a gun.”—I like this for it’s visceral impact, but I also saved it because I think it’s interesting that we so often compare the male genitalia to weaponry. I know little boys who are taught to call their penis a gun. And how often do we compare penetration to an attack, or ejaculation to shooting/explosions? I do it fairly often. How fucked up is that? I don’t think male sexuality is inherently violent or destructive, yet I often feel threatened by men in our culture, and I think many of them use their cocks to “conquer” or intimidate. I think it’s a telling statement about our society, that we’ve become so unbalanced, so male-focused. Only in a culture where aggression and dominance are lauded as virtues would it seem totally natural to equate an organ dedicated to pleasure and virility with something violent.

    Just me spewing out my thoughts all over your review again :) No judgement intended. I obviously love what you’re writing (and I think comparing his cock to a rifle in this instance is spot on—a threat is a threat).

    I should be getting back to my writing now. You’ve successfully distracted me for over an hour now. (I’m easily distract-able :)) I hope you’re writing more; I’ll need another distraction soon. <3 <3 <3

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  • From wirewoolly on May 24, 2018

    Oh, blimey! His acts of humanity are completely offset by that final brutish act in this chapter :( I'm so confused, as I'm sure is Hermione! As much as I don't want to know that all will end well for her, for them, there's always a part of me hoping for a HEA with this pairing. 'Obviously' (nice image of Rickman's SS from the film dropped into this chapter, btw :D), I was relieved to learn she wasn't about to suffer at the hands of Lucius because there's he hope that she won't be degraded for the sake of it (nor do I think you'd write that story anyway, plus this is a HG/SS pairing), and all was seemingly on the winding road to fluff until now! Gah!...

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  • From wirewoolly on May 24, 2018

    Oh, blimey! His acts of humanity are completely offset by that final brutish act in this chapter :( I'm so confused, as I'm sure is Hermione! As much as I don't want to know that all will end well for her, for them, there's always a part of me hoping for a HEA with this pairing. 'Obviously' (nice image of Rickman's SS from the film dropped into this chapter, btw :D), I was relieved to learn she wasn't about to suffer at the hands of Lucius because there's he hope that she won't be degraded for the sake of it (nor do I think you'd write that story anyway, plus this is a HG/SS pairing), and all was seemingly on the winding road to fluff until now! Gah!...

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  • From OracleObscured on May 19, 2018

    Hmmmm, Severus has some issues. (But when doesn’t he have issues?) I’m dying to know what’s been going on with him. Living in a world of Death Eaters would turn me into a deranged psycho too. I can’t really blame him for being so volatile. But I’d be nuts if I were Hermione. The mixed signals are maddening, and there’s no one to trust. She all on her own, and that’s a horribly lonely place to be when you’re scared and unsure of your surroundings.

    “Hermione sat on her bed, letting her eyes rove over the landscape of laboratory equipment, burnished by the warm glow of the magical lanterns fluttering around the room.” Loved this. I think it was the burnished that did it for me :) (I also really liked the description of the storeroom, but I don’t think I saved any lines from that bit.)

    “The man of perpetual winter.”—Unh! So good! Especially with Spring comparison. (But even without that, it still would have been brilliant all on it’s own.)

    “But so many things did that she now felt quite separate from it, and could look at it with a curious detachment that seemed like it might, in the long-term, be both helpful and harmful to her.”—I’ve been there, and I feel for her. It’s a slightly horrifying way to live. But sometimes necessary.

    “she was perturbed by how noisily they clacked against the flags. She suspected that it was deliberate, enabling him to keep track her.”—I can see how it would be useful for a strung out spy to know when someone was approaching, but the idea that he did it with clogs just cracked me up. :D She should tell him about flip-flops. Just as loud but without the horse clopping of clogs. Or he could just put a bell on her :) I have a bell anklet somewhere for dancing, but it drives me nuts to just walk around with it on.

    “for the tell-tale signs that she did, in fact, possess a body of indeterminate shape and size.”—This made me laugh too. The droll wording was perfect. (I can’t decide if droll is the adjective I want, but I can’t think of anything better, so I hope that made sense.)

    Can’t wait for the next chapter <3


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  • From OracleObscured on May 16, 2018

    Mmmm, things are getting interesting :) Snape is all hardcore and closed off. (And so violent.) I don’t want to say I love it . . . but I do. As a character, he’s difficult and contradictory, which makes him more intriguing to read about. (As a person, however, I wouldn’t go anywhere near him. I like saying thank you, and I prefer my throat remain unbruised.)

    Hermione’s viewpoint is so fucking vivid—I’m in descriptive heaven :) You’ve captured the desolation and torment of her situation wonderfully. I saved it in my favs, but the line about her jaw aching when she went to eat was fucking brilliant. You’ve sucked me into her misery and confusion—and I love it <3

    Fav lines:

    “bare like a neglected child—devoid of innocence, devoid of trust.”—Uuunnnnh! Gorgeous!

    “Somewhere between Victorian era and asylum-ware.”—Bahahaha! This is such a perfect description. I know exactly what you mean, and it’s fucking hilarious. But also creepy and sad. (But I can’t stop laughing.)

    “she chewed slowly, the joints of her jaw feeling like they had rusted over, “—So vivid! Love this detail.

    “Whomever he was, whatever he was trying to do, she would definitely remember not to thank him for it.”—And amidst all the darkness and fear you got me to laugh again. Great ending.

    I’m eager to see what Snape has up his sleeve. He never does what’s expected, so this could go in lots of different directions. And you’re so wonderfully twisted, I’m sure I’ll never guess. I need more!

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  • From OracleObscured on May 15, 2018

    Aaahh! You got up chapter two before I had time to write my review for chapter one. Your muse is outpacing me :)

    I freaking loved this first chapter. The mood and images were so fucking perfect. I loved despicable Lucius. (Well, I hated him, but you know what I mean.) Everything was just so deliciously evil. (Crap, maybe I need to let out my dark side more often. I am so fucking INTO this.)

    I didn’t save any specific favorites because I loved the whole damn thing. I think the opening bit with Lucius was one of my favorite openings ever. The action and attitude were just so spot on.

    The way you presented Severus was brilliant. Indirect. Mysterious. Very canon. Gaaah! I fucking love it <3 And Hermione was disturbingly tough. So disconnected and numb. (I sholdn’t be loving that so much, but I do.)

    And of course I’m wondering what Snape’s really up to, and I’m dying to read the next chapter. (Alas, I must wait till later, as I have to take a shower and eat. Fuck, I’m already late.)

    I’ll be back with another review either tonight or tomorrow.

    Don’t write another chapter before then! :) (Okay, you can. I’ll never complain about rapid chapter releases. I know I’ll just want more when I’m done with the next one :))

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  • From Peahen on May 12, 2018

    A very intriguing start!

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