Reviews for Ginny Weasley and the Holyhead Harpies

BY : Styx45


  • From Banna on December 25, 2019

    Mm-mm-mmm. I’m panting like a dog. 😛 maybe drooling a little too. 🤤



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  • From ANON - Cloudbringer on December 20, 2019

    I like the idea you are working on here. I too agree that it feels a bit rushed. But, pretty good if this is your first go. I would suggest taking another crack at the same chapter, but take it a little slower and a little more build-up/sexual tension. Get us to feel everything. What's going through her head? fear, excitement, regret, does this change as things proceed to "wanting more"? Maybe describe what her pubic area looks like before the trimming. Is she feeling embarassed, is she wondering what Harry will think? You could even try re-ordering your events and see how you like them. Maybe have them trim her first, then play with her. The slow trimming of her area would slowly begin to arouse her, making her wet and horny or something. She then wants it secretly to go further and they tease her for a bit. This build up keeps the reader wanting to know more or root for something to happen. Then you can transition to "it looks like a harpy now, but does it act like a harpy(or taste like harpy, or whatever.) Also i would recommend starting a review thread for this story under http://www2.adult-fanfiction.org/forum/forum/401-general/     

    Then you can get some better feedback and interaction. Like I said, what you got is really entertaining and I love the idea. Is this during the summer between classes? Like how Krum plays professional between classes? Or after graduation? Keep writing and keep up the good work.

     



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  • From Manic_Seeker on December 18, 2019

    A little on the short side, but really good so far. Hope to see you continue it!



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