Life as I know it | By : BlindedHP Category: Harry Potter > Slash - Male/Male > Harry/Snape Views: 75938 -:- Recommendations : 2 -:- Currently Reading : 6 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
Title: Life as I know it
Summary: This fic is BDSM. Harry is not the boy that everyone expects him to be when he first enters Hogwarts. This fic is Snarry slash with Snape as Harry's Dom.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything Harry Potter related. This magical world belongs to JK Rowling and various publishers. No profit is being made from this.
Warnings: BDSM, dom/sub, non-con, dub-con, sexual situations, master/slave, chan, violence and some more that I can't think of right now.
Author's Note: I dedicate this chapter to Sabrina who has been absolutely wonderful in assisting me with this fic and the concepts pertaining to a Dom/sub relationship. Thank you Sabrina!
Chapter 19: My Master, my protector.
Harry kept mostly to himself the last few days of the holidays. He still sat with Master Severus when they ate or when he was relaxing in the living room, building his puzzle but other than that, he tried to steer clear of the man. Not because he was angry at his Master or anything, but because he didn't know what to think or feel at the moment. Whenever he saw his Master he just wanted the man to take him in his arms and kiss him senseless or even just hold him forever and ever.
On the last day of their 'solitude', Harry bid his Master good day and stated that he was going to the Headmaster. Harry was very grateful that his Master didn't ask why he wanted to see the old man.
Making his way through the hallways and up the stairs, Harry took a good look around him and slowed his pace in order to enjoy the magic of the castle, he didn't know how long he would still be able to just 'bask' in the feeling of the magnificent castle. School was just one more term – except of course for the Easter weekend, but as very few people went home at that time, he didn't consider it as a real holiday, just a very, very long weekend.
His musings was interrupted by the sudden appearance of the ugly stone gargoyles, okay so they didn't just appear but Harry only noticed them then.
Harry stood and stared at them for a while. He only now realized just how foolish his little expedition really was. He didn't know the password, didn't really know the headmaster all that well and wasn't even certain if he was the right person to pose his questions to.
Just as he was about to turn around and call himself ten times the fool, the stone creatures moved aside and the stairwell up to the office was visible.
Squaring his shoulders, Harry took a deep breath and climbed the stairs.
The Headmaster was sitting behind his desk, paging through some leaflets.
"Ah, good morning Harry, what can I help you with today?"
Harry smiled at the old man but politely declined the tea and treats he was offered.
He had long since learned from ramblings by his Master that 'the old coot' was prone to dose his tea with calming potions and his treats with cheering drops.
Harry did not want to find out what type of foolish things he would do or say should he accept both or even just one of those.
"Good morning headmaster. I er, ummm, I was wondering.."
As he sat there relaxing in a chair right in front of the headmaster, Harry felt like a fool. That he even considered taking up the man's time for something as trivial as one question, he didn't know what to say or how to ask the question.
"What is it dear boy? No need to fret child, I have the time now and I can clearly see that there is a definite reason for why you came to see me."
"Er.. I was wondering sir, do you maybe know, well, of course you do but, could you maybe tell me sir, when is my Ma.. Professor Snape's birthday?"
Harry didn't know whether or not to feel affronted or join in when the headmaster laughed a bit.
"Dear child, you worried about asking me when your Apprentice Master celebrates his birthday? No need to fret my boy, I'm happy to answer this question for you, or any others you might have for that matter."
Harry smiled gratefully at the man but the smile quickly left his face as he realized that he would not have a lot of time to search for the perfect gift.
Nine January was right around the corner and he would have to hasten if he wanted to find that perfect gift.
Severus had never in his life been so nervous. Not even on the day of his initiation in the Dark Lord's fold had he been this nervous. That one, innocent boy could raise this feeling in him scared him more than he wanted to admit.
The day had passed as any other day; he had awoken before dawn as was his norm, had poured himself a mug of coffee and sat pondering his life and the turns it had taken since Harry had come to live with him.
Harry had greeted him when he finally decided to wake and get out of bed, and had then proceeded to make them a generous breakfast.
Breakfast had been better than he had ever had before, with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast, slices of cheese and pork sausages. There had also been some cereal with yogurt; "If Master wishes to have this instead" had been the answer to his raised eyebrow.
He had chalked it up to a display of 'affection' from Harry's side and they had enjoyed the meal together.
For the rest of the day Harry hardly left his side. When he was reading a book, Harry was there close by fiddling with puzzle pieces and muttering under his breath. If he stood to get a glass of water or anything else, Harry would jump up and literally push him back in his seat before hurrying to fetch whatever it was that Severus wanted.
It was puzzling behavior and it had made Severus nervous, which was why he was standing there in the doorway to his rooms, with a paper clasped firmly in his hands, watching Harry's every move. The nervousness slowly turned to excitement as Severus thought of what would happen when Harry saw what he had. Hope had begun building in his chest since that kiss they shared and no matter how hard Severus tried to suppress it, the hope had blossomed fully. He did not even want to think of what should happen if everything did not go according to his dreams and wishes. He would be devastated but he had promised himself that no matter what Harry said, he would not force the boy into anything.
Severus was startled when he felt a hand hesitantly touch his arm. Looking down he found Harry looking up at him with concern.
"I'm fine Harry, was there something you needed?"
Harry blushed bright red then and Severus was hard pressed to keep from pulling the lip - which Harry was abusing with his teeth - out and suck it into his own mouth.
"I er.. you, I, er… Happy birthday Master Severus."
Severus had definitely not been expecting that and could do nothing but stare at Harry for a while.
When a hand insistently pushed a square package in his ribs he looked away from Harry's face and grasped the hand which held what could only be a present for him.
He led Harry over to the couch and pulled him up on his lap where he then proceeded to open the present with a bit of Harry's help. He could have done it on his own but he wanted Harry to share this with him, even though it was his birthday, he wanted to share it and every birthday to come with Harry.
Severus could see Harry worrying his bottom lip again out of the corner of his eye but decided to focus on what his little submissive had given him rather than those full pink lips which just invited him to nibble on them.
Severus didn't know what to expect from Harry, he had not expected anything really as he hadn't known that Harry knew when his birthday was but now that he thought about it, Harry had probably gone to the Headmaster that day a week ago to ask the old man that exact question.
As he opened the box and looked inside his breath caught in his throat. It was not that it was a magnificent piece of jewelry or some other such treasure, no, it was a photo of him and Harry relaxing in their quarters; Harry was on the floor in front of him leaning back against Severus's legs with a book open before him. Severus himself was sat on the couch with one hand in Harry's hair and the other holding some book or another. It was just a photo of an everyday occurrence for them but to see it captured in a moment which would last forever made it seem all the more real. Even if they should move apart, Severus would always have that one moment to hold on to and it meant the world to him that Harry had thought of such a wonderful gift. He lifted the frame out of the box and held it at eye level.
Harry, whom had been resting against him shifted a bit and Severus could feel the smile forming against his chest.
Severus bent his head and placed a loving kiss on Harry's head.
"Thank you Harry, it is wonderful."
Harry looked up at him with a smile but as Severus lowered his hand to put the box down Harry stopped him.
"There's something else in there."
Severus looked at him quizzically. The box was light and felt empty, he could not think of what could still be in there and weigh so little.
He brought the box closer so he could see inside and found a folded piece of parchment.
Opening it he looked down in shock at Harry who was now looking up at him apprehensively.
He could not believe what he was seeing:
i harry james potter, hereby offer my obedience and welfare to my chosen Master, Severus Snape. i make this offer with the intent that i wish to serve my Master and continue to grow as the best person i can be for my Master. i entrust my health and safety to Master Severus and believe that He is capable of looking out for my best interests and care. i believe that through my service i will be able to explore my personality and believe that Master Severus is best suited to maintaining the strict discipline i need in order to grow. In good faith i make this pledge. Signed.harry james potter
Severus read it over twice to make sure that he understood just exactly what he was seeing.
"You wish to stay with me? You wish for me to become your Dominant in all the ways of life?"
Harry nodded slowly and Severus could see the uncertainty in the young man's face.
Severus bent his head down and gave in to the urge he'd been fighting all week. Harry's lips were as sweet as he remembered them being. Cradling the head in his one hand he nudged Harry with his other until the boy had turned around completely and was now straddling his lap.
When they broke away again Severus reached out with his one hand to the papers he had been holding before Harry had surprised him with his gifts.
"I was going to ask you the same thing tonight. I have here a 'Bill of Rights' for submissives as well as a contract I wish you to read through carefully before signing. If anything is unclear, you may ask me about it. If you do not wish to enter such a relationship or if the contract is too strict or formal, tell me and we can work something out."
The worry which had entered Harry's face when Severus had first read the little piece of parchment had now gone completely and he smiled happily at Severus.
"Read both forms out loud for me and if you don't understand something, stop and ask."
Harry looked up at him and consented with a soft "Yes, Master."
A Submissive's Bill of Rights
I have the right to be treated with respect. Not only do I have this right, I have the right to demand it. I have the right to expect my decisions to be treated with respect and you to not think less of me, or abandon me for them. I have the right to respect myself.
I have the right to set limits, and expect them to be respected. I have the right to adjust these limits at any time, with notice to you. I have the right to expect my limits to be pushed and to be forced to create new limits for myself.
I have the right to be proud of what I am. Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring me shame or feelings of reproach. My submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.
I have the right to my emotions and feelings. I have the right to express both negative and positive feelings.
I have the right to privacy. I am my own person and have the right to see to my own personal problems.
I have the right to say NO. Being submissive does not take away my right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that I feel strongly opposed to, it's my duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate the word NO is the same as saying YES.
I have the right to use my safe words at any point, should I feel them necessary.
I have the right to have input in a relationship. I am an active partner in any relationship I enter and have every right to contribute to it. A relationship that doesn't include my needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one I should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.
I have the right to ask you for help, should I need it.
I have the right to be trusted, providing I have earned it, and I have the right to expect you to believe that I am an intelligent, caring and loyal person.
I have the right to expect you to administer my punishment with care and caution.
I have the right to expect our relationship to progress, for trust to continually be renewed, for our souls to be as close as our bodies are.
I have the right to tell you if I need more from you, and I expect you to respect my decisions about what I want and need. I expect for you to want the relationship to progress, unless decided otherwise before hand. I expect you to understand that deep trust often breeds love, and I expect not to be repelled if I tell you that I love you. For, my Master, I will love you, should our relationship move ahead, should our trust continue to grow.
I have the right to expect you to tell me, at any point, if you do not feel you can return those feelings, so that I may decide what I want and need. For it is your pleasure that adds to my own, makes it real. And mine, that adds to yours.
Harry looked up at his Master after reading the first piece of parchment.
"These are my rights? I have the right to ask all of this from you and for you to respect them?"
He could not believe what he was seeing and reading. The years he had spent with Master Severus had been wonderful and Harry had always thought that his Master was too lenient with him, gave him too much leeway. This 'Bill of rights' was an eye opener for him.
"Yes Harry. You have the right to each and every thing on that list and I expect you to honor them and uphold them. Do you understand?"
Harry swallowed hard. This was so much. He had never thought he would have the right to demand such things of his Master.
"I have the contract here as well Harry and I wish for you to read it out loud as you did with the 'Bill of rights'."
Harry nodded dazedly and took the parchment his Master held out for him.
Contract of service
I, harry james potter, with a free mind and an open heart; do request of Severus Snape that He accept the submission of my will unto His and to take me into His care and guidance, that W/we may grow together in love, trust and mutual respect. The satisfaction of His wants, desires, and whims are consistent with my desire as a submissive to be found pleasing to Him. To that end, I offer Him use of my time, talents, and abilities. Further, I ask, in sincere humility, that, as my Master, He accept the keeping of my body for the fulfillment and enhancement of O/our sexual, spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. To achieve this, He may have unfettered use of my body any time, any place, in front of anyone; to keep or to give away, as He will determine.
I ask that He guide me in any sexual, sensual, or scene-related behavior, both together with, and separate from Him, in such a way as to further my growth as a person.
I request of Severus Snape, as my Master, that he use the power vested in His role; to mold and shape me; assisting me to grow in strength, character, confidence, and being, and that He continue to help me to develop my artistic and intellectual abilities.
In return, I agree:
To obey His commands to the best of my ability.
To strive to overcome feelings of guilt or shame, and all inhibitions that interfere with my capability to serve Him and limit my growth as His submissive.
To maintain honest and open communication.
To reveal my thoughts, feelings, and desires without hesitation or embarrassment.
To inform Him of wants and perceived needs, recognizing that He is the sole judge of whether or how these shall be satisfied.
To strive toward maintenance of a positive self-image and development of realistic expectations and goals.
To work with Him to become a happy and self-fulfilled individual.
To work against negative aspects of my ego and my insecurities that would interfere with advancement of these aims.
My surrender as a submissive is done with the knowledge that nothing asked of me will demean me as a person, and will in no way diminish my own responsibilities toward making utmost use of my potential.
This I, harry james potter, do entreat, with lucidity and the realization of what this means, both stated and implied, in the conviction that this offer will be understood in the spirit of faith, caring, esteem and devotion in which it is given.
Should either of U/us find that our aspirations are not being well served by this agreement, find this commitment too burdensome, or for any other reason wish to cancel, E/either may do so by verbal notification to the O/other, in keeping with the consensual nature of this agreement. W/we both understand that cancellation means a cessation of the control stated and implied within this agreement, not a termination of O/our relationship as friends and lovers. Upon cancellation, each of U/us agrees to offer to the other H/his or her reasons and to assess our new needs and situation openly and lovingly.
This agreement shall serve as the basis for an extension of O/our relationship, committed to in the spirit of loving and consensual dominance and submission with the intention of furthering self-awareness and exploration, promoting health and happiness, and improving both O/our lives.
I offer my consent to submission to Severus Septimus Snape under the terms stated above on this the _ day of _ in the year _.
_
Signature of Submissive
I offer my acceptance of submission by harry james potter under the terms stated above on this the _ day of _ in the year _.
_
Signature of Dominant
Severus discussed the contract as well as the 'Bill of rights' with Harry and explained anything that he did not understand. By the end of the evening they were both tired but happy.
Harry had agreed to the terms of the contract and it was agreed that should he at any time feel that he wanted or needed to change something within the contract, that he could come to Severus and they would discuss it and make the changes as necessary.
The signed contract lay on the table and Severus kept glancing at it just to make sure that it was real and that he was not dreaming.
Severus looked down at Harry where he lay with his head in Severus's lap. The evening had taken a lot out of Harry but Severus was very grateful for the fact that they had taken the time to talk and work everything out. It was the best birthday present he could ever have wished for.
The flare in the fireplace let Severus know that someone wished to either come through or speak to him.
He gently lifted Harry's head and extracted himself from underneath the boy.
Waving his wand once at the fireplace he heard a voice state the name 'Lucius Malfoy' and opened his wards to allow the man to speak to him.
"Evening Severus."
"Lucius"
"Everything is set. The Dark Lord has mentioned to me that he wishes to capture Potter during the last Hogsmead weekend of the year.
If you give me that potion you mentioned, I will be sure to 'slip' it in one of his drinks prior to our leaving that day."
Severus lifted an eyebrow. He had not expected the Dark Lord to act so soon. The last Hogsmead weekend was usually before the NEWT exams which meant the attack would take place somewhere in April or May, depending on when the Hogsmead trip was.
"Thank you for informing me Lucius. If you could wait one moment, I have finished the potion for your wife and will collect it for you."
Severus was back in moments with a very ghastly looking potion.
"She has to drink one sip every fifteen minutes until the bottle is finished, more than one sip at a time would not be detrimental to her health but it might influence the efficiency of the potion."
"I understand, thank you Severus."
Severus waved away the thanks and the two talked for a few minutes more before Lucius said his goodbyes.
"I will stay in contact and as soon as I have perfected the little 'gift' for your Lord I will contact you and we can discuss when and how you should 'deliver' it."
The rest of the year went by at an agonizingly slow pace for Harry. He had been very distracted since the signing of the contract and not even the pending NEWT exams could hold his attention for long.
The kiss Master Severus had bestowed on him that night had not been the last but his Master refused to do anything more than kiss before Harry graduates.
That was what led Harry to being distracted. The thought of his Master's hands on him, rubbing him the way he had only ever dreamed about resulted in Harry walking around with a raging hard-on eighty percent of the time.
The Monday that Professor Dumbledore announced a Hogsmead weekend was the first day that Harry was able to focus on something other than his Master. Master Severus had informed him of the plan he had discussed with Lucius Malfoy and Harry felt anxiety building as he thought of what could and most probably would happen that weekend.
Master Severus had perfected a potion which would serve as a 'replacement' of the muggle drug and had given it to Lucius Malfoy the week before, with instructions to wait until he heard from Severus before initiating their plan.
The only thing that kept Harry from going insane with worry that week, was Draco's profound happiness in finding out that his mother was three months pregnant and that everything looked well for both her and the baby.
The battle around him looked eerily familiar and Harry realized after a few minutes that it looked a lot like the battle he had 'seen' when he had faced the boggart years ago.
Scanning the chaos around him he sought out his Master's tall frame and breathed out a sigh of relief when he saw him 'dueling' with Lucius Malfoy.
The curses they sent at each other were vicious but Harry could see that neither of them paid special care to cast it with the intention to hit their targets. Quite a few of the spells 'missed' their targets - incidentally hitting other Death Eaters nearby - and the others were all reflected by shields.
The battle had progressed from a small fight between a few wizards to every Death Eater available for summons and every Order member available.
Master Severus had told Harry that the potion had a delayed 'trigger' and that as soon as Voldemort left his 'lair' by any means of magical transportation the potion will begin to take effect and should be spread throughout his bloodstream within fifteen minutes of apparating or port-keying or whatever else he decided to do.
Voldemort had joined the battle around ten minutes ago and was currently dueling fiercely with Dumbledore whom had been at the ready for such a situation because of a prior warning from Master Severus.
Harry himself had been mostly left alone and he thought that it might have been on order from Voldemort that the Death Eaters leave him to their master.
Some stray curses had missed him by mere inches and Harry kept vigil for any young rookie who might want to challenge him to a duel.
A commotion to his right brought his attention to that direction and Harry could see Voldemort swaying slightly as if a strong wind was blowing through the air intending to knock him over.
The headmaster had stopped his castings but kept his wand at the ready in order to defend himself at any time.
Voldemort suddenly stumbled and fell to his knees. The Death Eaters in the immediate vicinity stopped their own battles and raced forward to aid their master.
"Stop! Leave me to deal with the old fool and the Potter brat. Take care of everyone else."
Harry just shook his head at the foolishness of the statement. He knew that if he had been in Voldemort's position and if he actually wanted to inflict pain or death, he would have ordered it to be done and swiftly, not take the chance that something could happen just because of self-pride.
The Death Eaters backed away even as Voldemort fell boneless to his side.
The potion had worked as Harry had described the muggle drug would work. Voldemort could not move a muscle and could not fight it with magic as it was not magically induced.
The irony, that something which Voldemort hated with such a passion should be his downfall was not lost on Harry.
Professor Dumbledore stepped closer to Harry and Master Severus appeared on the other side of Voldemort.
"Together." Professor Dumbledore said with a somewhat poignant expression and tone.
No matter who, Dumbledore would always treasure life and to destroy this being in front of them was taking a lot out of the old man.
They incanted an old 'exorcism ritual' and Harry could actually see the blackness which had surrounded Voldemort's soul lift out of the still body on the ground before it ignited in a blinding white fire.
Harry's eyes burned as he opened them and he cursed himself for not closing them sooner.
Professor Dumbledore told them that he would deal with what was left of Voldemort, Harry thought he heard the old man mutter something about an asylum.
The battle around them had stopped completely and as everyone realized what happened they scattered. Death Eaters lifted fallen comrades and apparated out; Aurors took down some of the Death Eaters that tried to escape and Order members knelt down by those who were hurt but still alive.
The adrenaline which had kept him going was slowly leaving him and Harry felt like he would faint.
Strong arms around his waist kept him upright and he smiled weakly up at his Master whom suggested that they get back to the castle to attend to their injuries.
Harry agreed without protest.
The way back was quiet as Harry leaned heavily against his Master's side. He was not grievously hurt but the emotional roller-coaster he had gone through the past few weeks made him crave the affection and attention of his Master.
Harry blinked a few times as he realized they had already reached their chambers in the dungeons.
Master Severus bade him to go wash up and clean any open wounds which would then be tended to.
After a luxurious half hour bath Harry made his way to his bedroom but half way there he was stopped by a hand on his arm.
"You may join me if you wish."
It was stated as somewhat of a request and Harry smiled brightly at his Master before following the man to his bedroom.
Master Severus tended to Harry's wounds with love and care and Harry soon found himself blinking drowsily.
Harry didn't even realize when his Master left to tend to his own wounds but he woke a bit groggily when he felt a strong arm encircle his waist and he snuggled back against the strong chest.
"You are safe now Harry and I will protect you, always."
Harry smiled sleepily at the words and brought his hand down to cover the one holding him around the waist. Hmmmm. My Master, my protector. he thought as he fell in the most peaceful sleep he had ever experienced.
Severus himself couldn't help but think; "This is how it should be, this is where he belongs - In my arms where I can always protect him, both from himself and from others."
End Chapter 19
This is the end of 'Life as I know it'.
I want to thank all my reviewers for your wonderful words of encouragement and praise.
I've combined two 'Bills of rights' that I found on the internet and then modified it to 'create' my own. I don't own this 'Bill of rights' and used it only as reference for this fic. Should the author's wish for me to take this down, I will do so.
This is exactly the same contract as in another fic but I did not take it from there. I did a search on the internet and found a site where this contract is available for 'public use': .
Thanks for reading!
Blinded_HP
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