Sorrow

BY : Tammy_Perro
Category: Harry Potter > Het - Male/Female > Snape/Hermione
Dragon prints: 433
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from writing this story.

Severus Snape stood in the hallway of Spinners End, he savored the silence, he enjoyed it. His robes billowed around him as he moved slowly through the hall, listening to his own footsteps.
Unfortunately, an almighty crash had ripped him from his stupor, in which he snarled and made his way to the kitchen. There sitting on the ground, he saw Hermione Granger, her eyes were wide with shock, exchanging looks to the House Elf, that sat a foot away from her, it had seemed she had tripped over the little thing as she was holding tonight’s dinner.

‘You clumsy oaf!’

Severus snarled as he pulled out his wand and cleaned everything up, Hermione had slowly regained her footing, looking elsewhere but his eyes, ‘why do you even bother with anything, you stupid girl!'

‘I didn’t mean to, I didn’t see him and tripped’.

‘You always have an excuse do you!?’

She flinched and Severus liked it, he found the pride in himself grow, she was afraid of him. Well, she brought it on herself, she forced him to marry her, to be her husband, and he retaliated, as usual, he didn’t want her, he didn't love her, and he didn’t need her.

‘Get out of my sight!’

She turned and rushed away, the little house elf had quickly gone back to the dishes, ignoring Severus, but he showed no care, the elf wasn’t hurt, he had resumed his post already. In a swift movement, Severus left the kitchen and retreated to his office.

 

 

Hermione was shaking, looking down at her pale hands, she didn’t mean to trip over the elf, he was just there and it happened all too quickly. She felt hot tears rushing down her face, she was in love with Severus, ever since the second year, but he showed no such emotions towards anyone, always anger and resentment. Ron didn’t love her, and she was fine with it, she didn’t particularly find him interesting enough to be her lover, but they were still great friends, more like brother and sister.
She couldn’t find anyone, no one was out there that would love her, and she really didn’t have a lot of time, nearly no time at all.

She had cancer.

She had found out before she married Snape, that it had been in her body since she was little, and now it was too late to get rid of it, she couldn’t get operated on, or she would die, but then she would die if she left it. She wiped the tears away and sniffed, at least he didn’t hurt her, he would only degrade her with words and insults. She looked up to see herself in the mirror, her frizzy hair was no longer frizzy, her face had grown into a lovely oval shape, her lips were rather pale though. But he didn’t care enough to notice. She had a few days to go before she would considerably “drop dead”. Holding her head up high, she tied her hair back and pushed herself off of her bed, tonight, she would see if she could ask him out to dinner instead, to make up for the loss of food now.

She found him in his office when she entered he briefly looked up to see her then went back to what he was doing.

‘I would like to take you out tonight’.

Severus snorted but continued with his paperwork, ‘so is that a yes?’ Her voice seemed to show a little hope, but that was extinguished when he glared at her, ‘no, I don’t want to be seen with you, anyone else, yes, but with you, it’s not going to happen’.

‘But... Why?’

‘Why?.... WHY!!?? You tell me Granger!’.

She shivered, hearing her former name on his tongue, he was angry with her, ‘well... It seems as if you aren’t a know-it-all. I’ll tell you why! Because I despise you, you’re nothing to me, and you’re wasting your time, now get out of my sight’.

Hermione stood stock still, she was frightened, but also very hurt, she tried to act tough, but it was getting harder by the second. He looked up once again, his eyes wide with anger, ‘do you want me to drag you out by your hair?’ His voice was low and menacing, and that did it, Hermione turned and fled the room, mentally kicking herself, he hates you, why on earth would he go out with you, let alone be seen with you? Those words going through her head, she felt so sick, so tired, there was no point, she was stuck in this marriage, but she loved him dearly.

 

 

Severus didn’t mean to say such horrid things to her, it just slipped out, but he didn’t apologize, there was too much pride in him. He didn’t see her for quite some time, she was in her room most of the time anyway, but after getting dinner, he ordered the house elf to send some of the food to her room, not wanting to talk to her.

 

Hermione looked at her self in the mirror, her body had grown thin and pale, she had covered everything up with a glamour, she moved slowly to the bed, her body wasn’t responding and she cried out of frustration, those words hurt her so much, she couldn’t even stand to be in the same room as him, and he was making it a lot easier by avoiding her. But she was dying, she was dying and she didn’t want to die, but she faced a great war with Harry, dying wasn’t very scary, but she would never see Severus again. She cast the glamour onto her self, and made her way out into the hall, it was time to meet Ron and Harry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Ron smiled at Hermione, but she could see the sorrow filled in those light eyes, he knew what was happening, he knew about the cancer inside of her, and he could do nothing about it.
Harry was in the living room, a pot of tea in front of him, he looked up wearily to see Hermione at the doorway, smiling softly he took her in his arms, hugging her ever so gently, afraid that she would crumble in his arms.

‘Everything is going to be fine Harry’.

She whispers to him, and he tenses, because he knows that it won’t be, it won’t be the same without her.
They sat down, Ron pouring Hermione’s drink and handing her the cup, ‘so, what’s going to happen is that once I’m gone, you can take all of my things from Severus’s place’. Ron grimaced, Hermione understood his reaction, how could she call him Severus after the way he keeps treating her, that’s what love does to you, it blinds you from reality.

‘You can keep the clothes for your kids in the future’.

The boys nodded, Hermione wiped he tears from her eyes, she would never see them grow up.

‘We love you’.

Harry’s voice broke the silence and Hermione chuckled, because she knew how true it was, since the first time they met on that train, ‘I know, I love you too’.

They hugged, they hugged until they couldn’t anymore, she wasn’t going to make it overnight.

 

 

Severus was being extremely nasty tonight, he wouldn’t even make eye contact, he pushed past her, but not too much to the point where she would fall over, they had eaten quietly at the table, Hermione not daring to say anything to break the silence, he liked it, and she knew it. Ever since the marriage he avoided her, and it hurt, but this was her attempt to find someone to love her, she would never force Ron or Harry to make love to her.
The clatter of cutlery breaks her from her thoughts as he moves to put his plate into the sink, now or never, she thinks to herself as she quickly gets up and follows him, he didn’t notice her behind him before she snaked her arms around his middle, she could feel him tense up, he was shaking a little. But it was only for a few moments before he pried her arms off of him, spinning around and shoving her back, his eyes showed no mercy, ‘what on earth are you doing!?’ He bellowed, but Hermione wasn’t scared, she was determined now, she lunged towards him, her lips pressing against his. Everything went silent as they both stood still, their lips locked, she had shut her eyes, but he hadn’t, staring at her eyelashes in shock. Then she moved away slowly, ‘please, just for tonight, and only this night, will you let me sleep with you?’
After the marriage they didn’t even sleep in the same bed, let alone in the same room, that’s how much he hated her, and she understood, but tonight was going to be over, and she wanted to feel him, feel him for the first time after so many months after.
Severus was altogether speechless, he then scowled, ‘no’, was his answer and he could see the desperation in her eyes and then heard it in her voice, ‘please Severus, I just need this one night, I promise, just this one night!’

He stopped himself, maybe just one night won’t be tragic, he would be asleep after all, he sighed and agreed with all his might, what she would get out of this, he had no idea.

 

 

The bed looked rather comfy, Hermione wanted to jump on it but knew that he wouldn’t approve, and she didn’t want him to change his mind about allowing her to sleep with him, he looked rather disturbed, after all, he was formerly her teacher, this relationship was very wrong indeed. She wasn’t wearing a silky sleeping dress like most witches would wear to show off to their husband, she was tucked away, nice and comfy. Sitting on the other side of the bed, Severus snarled, ‘no cuddling like what you just did in the kitchen, I will hex you myself if I have to’, Hermione’s shoulders drooped, she couldn’t touch him, she nodded and slid under the covers, she could feel his heat, the heat that she wanted to be encased in, but it would never happen.

 

She woke in the middle of the night, she was so sore and so sick, her chest was aching, and she knew her time was up, she would slip into an abyss of darkness, never to return. So she did the one thing she could think of, ‘Severus?’ Her voice was weak but audible to the human ear, he stirred and growled, it seems like he was awake as well, maybe he couldn’t sleep tonight?

‘What!?’

He snarled, but he didn’t turn over to her, ‘I’m cold’, she whispered, her voice betraying her pain, he still didn’t turn over, ‘go to sleep’.

‘Severus’.

‘I said go to sleep Granger’.

‘Severus please’.

He snarled and turned the lights on, sitting up to turn to her, his eyes flashed with disgust and anger, ready to tell her to get out, but he stopped when he saw her pale she was, her eyes were dark and she was shivering, ‘Granger, what on earth –‘.

‘I’m fine, just – I’ll go back to sleep, I’m sorry for bothering you’.

She smiled sadly at him, he is hesitant, but he turns the light back off, but he can’t sleep, he’s too uncomfortable. 

 

It’s morning, Severus doesn’t have a class until later in the day, so he would usually sleep in, he turns until he nearly rolls onto something, and he panics, but only for a second when he realizes it’s Hermione. So he shoves her a little, not so harsh, but neither friendly, more like a get the hell out of my bed, kind of attitude. He then pokes her, ‘Granger?’ He snarls, but she doesn’t move, then realizes that she’s rather pale, he looks closer, she’s not breathing.

‘Granger?..... Hermione?’

He moves closer, leaning over her to push onto her back, he then uses his wand to spell open the curtains, the morning sun shining down on them. Severus froze, she was pale, just as pale as him, her chest did not rise and fall like it used to, he touched her skin, only to draw back quickly, she was deathly cold.

‘Hermione’.

He said, hoping she was only messing about, in which he would be severely pissed off about it. She still didn’t answer, he then tried a few spells to get her to wake up, after every spell he grew desperate he tried to revive her, what on earth is going on? He sat motionless next to her, ‘Hermione?’ He whispers, and then he does something he thought he would never do.
He held her, he bundled her into his arms, he held her close, gasping a little from the chill of her skin.

‘It’s time for you to wake up’.

He whispers into her ear, waiting for a few moments..... Nothing, he stares ahead, his hands gently caressing her body, he was too shocked to do anything, this was her body. He felt something warm roll over his cheeks and he knew that he was crying, god damn it! 
He wasn’t so sure how long he was sitting there for with Hermione in his arms, but he knew that he needed to get her to St Mungo fast.

 

 

‘Mr. Snape?’

He looks up from his hands, the healer was looking at him, her eyes flickered around the room until they landed on him, he slowly gets to his feet, ‘how is she?’ He asks, mentally kicking himself for how he sounded, she opened her mouth to say something, and he could see she was struggling to say the words.

‘I’m sorry sir... We tried all we could... But she’s been gone for quite some time, you say she wasn’t breathing when you woke up and she was rather cold... I’d say she passed away during the night’.

Severus stood stock still, not knowing what do to, he stammered a little, not knowing what to say, this was all too real, as real as seeing Lily dead.

‘Can I – Uh’.

He didn’t need to speak anymore, the healer showed him to the bed, the rays streaked through the massive window over the bed that Hermione lay in. Her hands were gently clasped together over her stomach, his breath hitched as he had seen her true form, she was skinny... Very skinny.

‘I didn’t know she was like this’.

‘She used a glamour, you wouldn’t have known unless she was acting suspiciously’.

‘Can I just have a moment?’

She nodded before leaving to check on some other patients, Severus sat in the chair next to the bed, watching Hermione’s face, her hair was no longer messy, they had pushed her hair back to show her structure, and Severus actually thought she was pretty.

‘Why didn’t you tell me straight up front?’

He asked, knowing he will never get the answer, ‘why couldn’t you be truthful? You lived with me being a thorn in your side’, he felt tears form in his eyes, and that’s when he knew it, and god he hated it, he hated the fact that it took until her death to realize.

He was in love with her.

 

Severus Snape stood in the hallway of Spinners End, there was silence and he hated it. 



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