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Reviews for The Gift Horse

By : Quillusion

From purefaith91 on November 30, 2010
Excellent!! Wouldn't this make a good follow up movie for the Harry Potter series? Of course it would need to be a kind of prequel thing where it showed what happened before (LV winning) and then flashback to the movie where they won, but with SS living. I told my daughter that I have read so many fanfictions that allow SS to live that I am not sure that I can stand the actual movie when it comes out this summer with SS dying. I have become too attached to him as he has been "fleshed out" by authors such as yourself, who make it happen without compromising the character he projects in the originals. And I love the idea of him ending up with Hermione, one of my favorite characters. (and I still hate her with Ron). Though short, your story said it all and carried out an original premise that is great. Thanks for sharing. p
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From fyrebird on February 25, 2007
I've only read the first two chapters so far (about to go and read the third), but can't help thinking that the end of Chapter 1 is missing -- chapter two mentions a note and Bertie Botts Beans, which are not included in chapter 1 at all.

It seems that the chapter posted is either a "cleaned up" version, or a recovered file that got truncated. Not that I'm not enjoying the heck out of the story, but I certainly would enjoy it even more if there were more of it to enjoy. :)

P.S. Found you through your being listed as somebody's favorite author on FFN, then followed your link here.
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From ANON - Anon on February 08, 2006
quillusion@yahoo.com
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From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2006
This is the missing last half of chapter 1:
~~

"Not a condom," he said, his tone full of dread, and she made a small noise of reassurance.

"Hardly," she said. "There are better ways, and I've already taken care of that." He digested the implications of that statement almost instantly; how intoxicating, to know that a woman intended to have him! But she wasn't done speaking.

"No... this is a little treat for you. I thought about getting the flavored body paints, but I thought you might expect that- so I got these instead. I wonder what you'll think of them?"

The single shaft of moonlight left in the room fell on her palm and illuminated the front of a little bag. The glowing lettering on the bag's front read "Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans- Special Edition."

"What..." he began, when she suddenly hauled him out of his chair and Transfigured it into a low, wide Roman banqueting couch. He felt her hands removing his trousers, and realized with a thrill that those hands were shaking. She pressed him onto the couch- it really was more comfortable for this sort of thing- and straddled him immediately. The searing heat of skin on skin told him that she was more naked than he had thought- no underthings needed removing. How convenient, he thought inanely as his id kicked free of his superego's control.

His cock nudged hopefully at the soft folds that now surrounded it, and his brain misfired for a moment until he realized she was holding one of the jelly beans to his lips.

Unwilling to argue with a woman whose naked body was so close to taking his own inside her, he opened his mouth, accepting the tidbit unthinkingly.

He chewed, suddenly finding his mind quite fixed on identifying the flavor.

It couldn't be. They didn't put flavors like this into the mix, did they? Of course, he hadn't tasted a woman's most intimate places in so long, he might have it wrong... but he didn't think so.

"Like it? The flavor's called... Kitty." She kissed him tantalizingly, popping another bean into his mouth.

He recognized this one; it was just like the kiss she'd just given him, and not just in taste. How interesting that it was as much a feeling as a flavor contained in the candy's sugary centers. He tried another, finding an undiscovered playful side to himself when he murmured, "Need a comparison for that one too-" and caught one tight nipple in his mouth, sucking and gently tugging until she moaned and arched against him, fingers tangling in his hair to hold him closer.

"Definitely nipple-flavored," he growled around her breast. When he let her go, he was breathing hard, lips parted to pant a bit. She took the opening and fed him another bean.

It tasted like the sweet spot in the curve of a woman's neck, and again he cited the need to confirm the identification, gently moving one hand to touch enticingly between her thighs as he did so. She was running wet as a river by the time he was done, and her trembling fingers pressed one more candy to his lips. He bit into it...

...and exploded into orgasm. When he came to, shaking like a leaf, he looked down in sudden embarrassed horror.

To his relief, she was still massaging his erection lightly with her body, and there was no evidence that he'd lost himself.

"Those beans..."

"Are for adults only," she said wickedly. "You have to know someone at the company to get them, and they're naturally not well-known. I, of course, know someone." She laughed. "My favorite flavor is... well... Rooster."

He smiled with delight as he took the bag from her.

"Where's another of the last one you gave me?" he asked, his voice deep with desire.

She held one out to his lips, and he took it, then pulled her down into a dizzying kiss. He bit off one half of the bean and pressed the other into her mouth with his kiss, and before they knew it, they shared a bean-induced orgasm that left them both sweating, mouths fused in a tangle of lust and tongues.

Severus had never been this aroused in his life, and he knew that the woman straddling his lap could feel both the hardness of his cock and the slick wetness of his own wanting mixing with hers. The slipperiness was everywhere, and he thought that he would go mad if he didn't have her at that moment.

When her hand slid between them to squeeze and slide along him, spreading that lovely wetness all over his shaft, he moaned aloud, unable to form a coherent sentence. His hands swept down her body and pulled her up until hard met soft. Thrusting slightly at her, trying with all his might to retain some vestige of self-control, he told her without words what he wanted.

She let out a soft whimper of pleasure as the soft tip of his erection nudged her clitoris, and her hands fell to his chest as she leaned into the stimulation. Her head tipped forward, and the silk of her hair swirled around his neck and drifted across his face. He paid it little attention, too focused on the intense mental turn-on of knowing that he was about to make love to a woman whose body was plainly telling him that she wanted him.

He reached one deft hand down to adjust his cock against her, and as she rocked infinitesimally against him, he felt himself slide fractionally into her welcoming sheath. He let out a shuddering cry of pleasure, pressing further into her, feeling her stretch to accommodate him. He wanted to call her name out, but had to choke back his own voice at his lack of knowledge. He felt frustration surge within him to meet the tidal wave of lust, and the two turned on him together and drowned him in a flood of sensuality. It had been so long since he'd felt this forbidden delight that he had no strength to stand against it, no reserves to help him draw anything out.

He was powerless to stop it- and he loved it.

Severus vaguely realized that he had turned them over on the low couch, twisting so that her smaller frame stretched beneath his body and around his cock. He was thrusting slowly and rhythmically, reaching carefully for all the secret places of her body that he could pleasure- but he felt his body picking up the pace even as he struggled to slow down to savor the experience. He swore softly, overwhelmed with delight, and felt her mouth stretch in a smile as he leaned down to brush it with his. She clung to him, scratching him slightly as she fought for purchase on his skin, his name a chanted litany spilling from her love-bruised lips.

Her gasp of impending orgasm surprised him, and when he looked down, he could just make out wide eyes fixed on his face with a look of rapture that he had never known he could cause. He could not tear his gaze from hers, but circled his hips harder, growling to her in the velvet tones she loved- words of lust, words of desire, coaxing her closer to the edge.

Then she was there, and her first scream of climax sizzled down his spine to burn like holy fire at the base of his testicles, where he felt his own orgasm building. The feel of her body clamping tightly onto his, milking him and stroking him in the most intimate fashion possible, was all it took to set him off. As her last contraction eased, his began, and he buried himself in her to the hilt, wrapping his arms so tightly around her that it must have been hard for her to breathe- but he couldn't let go, not when it felt this good.... He cried a name out, whose name he wasn't sure, and saw red and gold stars behind his closed eyelids just before everything went blissfully dark again.

When he came to, he was alone, seated in his old comfortable chair. The hearth was still dark and cold, and the empty vial that had held the headache potion stood on the table beside the chair, its rim growing sticky with exposure to air. He lifted his head, wondering if he had just had a vivid dream.

But the potion bottle was not the only sticky thing he discovered as he rearranged himself. He was draped in his own robes, to ward off the chill, he supposed, but beneath it, he was bare. The evidence of not only his passion, but hers as well, remained on his belly, thighs, and genitals, and the scent of sex still clung in his nostrils.

And there, on the table just beyond the vial, was the bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans- Special Edition. There was a small note beside it. The writing was standard Dict-O-Quill font, so that would not help him identify his... benefactor? Guardian angel? Lover? He set that question aside, instead turning his attention to the note. With trembling fingers he retrieved his wand from where it had fallen on the floor, softly muttering "Lumos" and absently noting that his voice was mellower than he liked.

Severus,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for a wonderful evening, and for trusting me enough to take what was offered freely, without asking questions that cannot be answered. I only wish your colleagues and students could know that your skills are not restricted to Potions and espionage; it is a shame that they cannot know the man you really are. You are a man hemmed in by walls you did not build, and it pains me to see you imprisoned. But it cannot stay that way forever.

Enjoy the Beans. I think you may find them useful when you need to relax, and I admit that it would please me if they reminded you of me. I would not have you forget anything we shared; it is my hope that, if you are willing, we might share it again. But I will not expect anything of you. Instead, I remain-

The Gift Horse

In the darkness of his room, Severus Snape smiled... and slept.
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From ANON - anyah_daoc on April 05, 2005
Beautiful! Perfect! I loved it! Thank you kindly for such a great story!
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From ANON - Reba Roget on August 18, 2004
The best! So romantic, not gooey, but definitely sexy!! Many thanks!
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From ANON - moony_reader on March 25, 2004
OMG! This was so wonderful! I'm so happy that you wrote this. The sex scenes were amazing, but what I loved even more was trying to figure out the identity of "The Gift Horse." I would have never in a million years would have guessed for her to be from the future... ack! That was so cool. I look forward to reading more of your works. Thank you again so much. You are very talented.
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From Snapegirl51606 on March 22, 2004
Absolutly the greatest story i've read... I really enjoyed this story and I hope you will continue to write more Fics.
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From ANON - CF on February 19, 2004
Muaha! You got your messacroscross perfectly...I ahd actually tried to describe a tired Severus, and eventually gave up because I just couldn't come close to how well you did.

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From ANON - Skjeve on December 30, 2003
A sequel is threatened, and I for one would -love- a second helping of what you dished out! Consider me hungry :)

-Crooked, heading back to reread some of that -marvelous- description
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From ANON - Anon on December 30, 2003
xxx
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From ANON - Anon on December 30, 2003
Here -- this is what I was thinking of --

"I love how you sound," she said, and he felt a jolt of emotional pleasure go through him.

Now THAT is hot.

Candygirl
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From ANON - candygirl on December 30, 2003
Wow, Quillusion, this is so good -- sexy and emotional, too. I really appreciated your recognition of the erotic power of the spoken word; I think it was in chapter 1 that you said something about the emotional/sexual jolt S gets from something his mystery lover says. The pacing was perfect; you handled the passage of months seamlessly. And what a cool idea -- that the present Hermione is unaware of the actions of the future-traveller Hermione in her present, so she can't give herself away to Snape.

I wish I could give you some constructive criticsm because I think those are harder to think out and express -- and I'd like to offer you a small gift for the enjoyment I got from this -- but I can't! I think it must be perfect.

Candygirl
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From ANON - SJ on November 09, 2003

Lovely, comely ely wonderful in fact, I enjoyed it immensely.
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From ANON - SecretelySeverus on November 08, 2003
I wish you could see me right now... I have tears streaming down my face from all the emotion I felt whenst ast a minute ago, I finished reading your story. I found this in a reccommended reading from Corazon, and as I adore her stories, I figured anything she woudl reccommend had to be amazing: and I wasn't disappointed. By the middle of the first chapterur sur story jumped it's way up to my list of top favorites, and now that I have finished it, I feel an unbelievable sense of joy at the outcome. The character development, the suspense, and the story... just INCREDIBLE! I've never been so moved by any story as I have been by yours just now... it's incredible. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your imagination and creativity with us... I am the better because of this! Please continue writing, your gift is too precious to waste :)

Thank you, I feel like a better person for reading this
~Leigh~
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