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Reviews for The Marriage Law

By : Witchcraft
  • From ANON - Sharon on October 12, 2003
    Very interesting story, but I've got a question. Why doesn't it work the other way around? A muggle born boy and a pureblood girl? Just wondering :-D
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  • From on October 11, 2003
    Wow this story is great ! Iwish i could come up with story lines like that keep up the good work.
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  • From DarkLillith on October 11, 2003
    THAT WAS GREAT...YOU WRITE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
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  • From Shiv5468 on October 11, 2003
    I have read your other stories and they have very interesting plots, but I think it would be nice if you slowed down your style a bit so that we could see what is going on more. A little more description of people's feelings and thoughts would make your stories even more readable. For instance, Severus overhears that he kisses like a goat and he is upset. If you spent a little longer building on that feeling, perhaps thinking about past girlfriends or his time a school, then we could see how vulnerable he is, how h beg beginning to care about her opinion of him, all sorts of things like that - so that when they do hop into bed together we can see how they made the emotional journrom rom mutual antipathy to actually quite liking each other.

    And I am sorry to say this but you do seem to make a few spelling mistakes. Have you considered getting a beta reader? I know myself how hard it is to spot mistakes yourself and another pair of eyes might be useful.
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  • From ANON - Catherine on October 11, 2003
    Woah nice chapters...i love them...please continue...im really loving this story...
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  • From ANON - SillyMom001 on October 11, 2003
    New chapters are good but I've noted a few grammatical errors. I'm really not the person to be talking about errors since I send even my homework assignments to a friend to check, but in my experience if you read your chapters aloud once or twice before you post them you will catch most of the errors. Whew that was a long sentance and totally messed up lol. I still suggest reading them aloud though dear.
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  • From ANON - SillyMom001 on October 11, 2003
    Pretty good so far Potter. I've got to hand it to you, the style and form of your writing has majorly improved from your first story to now. Your also doing a good job on finding interesting themes to base your stories on. Keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - Lady Aidil on October 11, 2003
    I think that fic would be quite funny,especially fainting Snape-it was a worth reading description,indeed!I was really enjoing this bningning and hope you write a marvellousry ory once more(I read,of course,all fics of you, truly admiring them)Please,update as soon as possible!
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  • From ANON - Meh on October 11, 2003
    Luna is not a Muggleborn!!! How could you pair her with Ron?
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  • From ANON - Helena on October 11, 2003
    more,more, more, more, more, more!!!!!!!
    This is going to be veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery good!!!!
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  • From ANON - Catherine on October 11, 2003
    This story line is dellicious...please keep going...
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  • From ANON - Helena on October 11, 2003
    Can't wait to read what will happen next!!!!
    I'm dying of anxiety!!!!
    Please Update veeeeery soon!
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  • From ANON - J.P. on October 11, 2003
    Please write more soon!!!!!!! Love it!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Veronica on October 11, 2003
    I love this story......very original, but I have one question, Why didn't Mr. Weasley put Hermione's name down for his son, I mean he know and likes Hermine and knows his son like her as well so why Luna then?.......Please write more ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Veronica on October 11, 2003
    I love this story..ver.very original, but I have one question, Why didn't Mr. Weasley put Hermione's name down for his son, I mean he know and likes Hermine and knows his son like her as well so why Luna then?.......Please write more ASAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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