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Reviews for Too much love can kill you

By : phoenixwriter
  • From ANON - steph on November 29, 2004
    I think this story is beautiful. you definitely need to update! i love how you give both points of view and it's not just pointless smut. and i love H/HR!!! props to you, because this is great writing...especially since you don't use smutty disgusting words like "cock" and "prick". that just makes a story unappealing. but update quickly...i'm very interested!
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  • From ANON - webbapettigrew on October 17, 2003
    Well, I think that for someone who is writing a story in a language that isn't their first language, your control of grammar was really quite good. I only saw a couple of minor errors.

    A couple of things really bothered me with this story. First off, Hermione is in pain because she killed Cho accidentally. But then, despite all this, Harry just comes up to her one day and says he didn't really love her, and then, in so many words he says he really loved Hermione? If I were Hermione I would have slapped him stupid! What a nasty, vile, heartless thing to say--even if it were the truth. Telling Hermione something like that almost seems to cheapen Cho's death. The real Hermione would have been appalled.

    Second, I am going to assume you're either a virgin, or the sex you've had was by the world's greatest lover, because sex the first time, even with the most patient and skilled of lovers is going to hurt. A Lot. There's going to be some tears, probably some blood, and it's not going to be very pleasurable at all. If she were a virgin, she would have even been nervous with him fingering her, probably. Harry might have been able to stimulate her to orgasm with the manual foreplay, but almost certainly not with the actual act.

    Also, is Harry a virgin in this? If so, kudos to him for knowing where to place himself on the first try. My girlfriends and I often chatted about sex with virgin men (not that I've had too many partners) but we all came to the consensus that we sort of had to "help" them find their way along at first. They were usaully so excited about getting some that their brains left town.

    ~webba
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