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Reviews for Parvus Obitus

By : darnedchild
  • From ANON - Hawklaw on January 15, 2004
    Wow! I love this story, and you keep making it more interesting. I'm dying to know what will happen when Hermione ingests the potion, and whether it will matter that she was involved in its creation. You write incredible smut (I had trouble sleeping after Chaper 1) but you also have a great sense of plot development. Keep updating!
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  • From ANON - shinyquarter on January 06, 2004
    I'm really liking this so far! I hope you update it soon, I love to read Hermione and Sev get their groove on in the face of impending danger.
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  • From ANON - Pandora Nervosa on December 31, 2003
    This is an absolutely amazing first attempt. It was rec'd to me on the Veresna Ussep Yahoo Group. Everyone was very impressed, as am I. Using "The Voice" was such a wonderful idea, and honestly, are there any of us who wouldn't love to hear that whispering in the dark? Very much anticipating the next installment.
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  • From ANON - Laurie on December 27, 2003
    I really llike this one, I hope you aring ing to keep working on it, and pick up where they have had time to think.
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  • From ANON - SAerelle on December 26, 2003
    i really love this Story. their are a few rough spots, but moST of it is pure fun. rather original too.
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  • From ANON - Katamara on December 21, 2003
    Ok, so I never review, and you should feel very loved. I just wanted to tell you that I think your story rocks and the writing is great. Kudos to you and your beta. Update! And write more stories! You are the best new writer I've ever seen, and since the internet eats my life, I've seen alot of new authors. I can't wait for more!
    -Katamara
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  • From ANON - Seph R on December 21, 2003
    First, let me say that I really enjoyed reading this. I like how we were only in one character's head at a time and I thought it was a nice touch that we were not hearing the thoughts of the person experiencing the direct pleasure of the moment. There was only one time that I popped out of the story. When SS says that he made the same mistake as the boys in not realizing that HG was a woman. It seemed that you had already built up the fact that he had an attraction to her since he especially did not want to hear HG moaning someone else's name. I wasn't exactly sure how these two things went together. It may be clear to others, but I figured I would just mention it. I think it was simply great. I would like to read more ( just like everyone else) and, in all honesty, think that this would make a good full story instead of a pwp. Please keep up the great work and keep writing even if it is not this particular story.
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  • From ANON - Patatita on December 21, 2003
    You are amazing!! Great stuff... just great! I can see its going to be a lot of innuendo... lovely!!
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  • From ANON - Patatita on December 21, 2003
    Much better without the "baby" word... still great!! Love it. Now, for seconds!!
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  • From ANON - tina on December 21, 2003
    i love this! for not being used to writing smut, i'm surprised. very excellent - more please!
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  • From ANON - shagsthedustmop on December 20, 2003
    At first, when I read the premise of the story I laughed, because it's just so outlandish. But I actually thought you did it quite well. The reader has to make the assumption that Snape has been attracted to Hermione for awhile - you have it as a given rather than something you build up to, but you do provide the background that they've been working together for awhile so that it is believable. I know you asked whether your characters were in character - for the most part yes, although it seems a little odd is that Severus wouldn't have locked and warded the room he was in before, ahem, making himself comfortable, and also I have to suspend some disbelief that he would give in so easily to making Hermione's experience more personalized (he seems the type who would be very uncomfortable sexually to me). nei neither of these is a major issue, I enjoyed reading the story and look forward to more. - Shags
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  • From ANON - Jenny on December 20, 2003
    (Having now read chapter 2)

    That's very good, that is. I'm glad you carried on with it.

    Possibly the second chapter wasn't quite as strong; possibly I just think so because the end was less erotic. It was certainly very good.

    It occurs to me that Severus' realisation of having done what Ron and Harry did would be more powerful, and the whole thing more interesting, if you deleted the reference to a tingle when hold hands to be portkeyed in the first chapter.

    At this stage, much as I'm dying to read more, I'd urge caution on you and suggest you don't rush into writing more before planning carefulThisThis fic could easily slip into clich
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  • From ANON - Jenny on December 20, 2003
    (having read chapter 1) Good heavens, how intriguing. A very novel twist. Most unusual and very well written.

    Before I read chapter 2, though, I just wanted to comment that I don't think that Severus would, under any circumstances, use the term "baby". Possibly sweetheart, possibly darling, more likely just Hermione. Definitely *not* baby. I think, anyway.
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  • From Barrie on December 19, 2003
    Oh My! I must that I am enjoying this story and if ou don't get this thing updated rather quickly I shall be very upset. :) Writing porn may be hard , but you do it very well!
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on December 18, 2003
    Chapter 2...... THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! THANK YOU!!! I am so happy that you are continuing this EXTREMELY HOT piece of work!!! I even went back & re-read the 1st aga again, this whole thing has made my cheeks warm!!! Part 2 was just as good as part 1!!! The thought of watching him & then hearing him calling her name, DAMN I r I really can't wait until part 3!!! Of course I will probably re-read from part 1 again.... I think I will have to save that until I know my husband will be home;-) Probably should have saved this for tomorrow night, he just left for work:( Til Chapter 3, Deb >^..^
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