Click Here!

Reviews for Snape\'s Choice

By : Witchcraft
  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on January 17, 2004
    Chapter 14..... I'm glad that you have updated & hope you are feeling better soon!!! This chapter may have been short, but it was GOOD!!! Till chapter 15, Deb >^..^
    Report Review

  • From ANON - sushified on December 30, 2003
    It doesn't really seem possible, but I know where you're coming from. Everyone takes these characters and puts them into thier own fantasies, even if it doesn't make sense. I do it all the time. I think it's great that you were able to put them into this story for yourself. It's quite good.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Anette on December 28, 2003
    I hardly ever critisize people on their work, but I can't stand by and not say something to this.
    I'm going to try to be helpfull instead of flaming.

    It would look much better and be much less trouble to read if you just combined all of the chapters into one chapter, they are all rather short and it will look more organized.

    When writing smut, imagine what you are writing as if you were experiencit ant and write what you imagine it would feel like, in Detail! It will make it much more believeable and look less like a 10 year old trying to describe sex. If you have not experienced sex, read some of the novellength (or longer) R rated stories (as they are often written much better than the 500 word storries) to understand the intricasies that are often included in a relationship and sex. And don't only read ONE story because that will NOT make you any kind of expert, read at least 5-10, so you have some kind of overview on the storytelling method.

    One can never say to many times...SPELLCHECK.

    Try to go more into the emotions involved in the relationship, the thoughtprocesses and reason that the charakters think what they do. WHY does Hermione accept that Snape loves her so quickly? WHAT does he do to make her se that he loves her? WHAT does she/he find appealing in him/her? WHEN does Hermione fall in love with him? WHY did Snape fall in love with her(there must be some reason other than she looked good)? WHY does Snape not discuss this with Dumbledore? WHY don't they look for other ways to solve the problem? WHY does Hermione sign right away without even thinking about it?

    Last but not least... Good luck.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - the Ascendant on December 28, 2003
    Well, aside from the poor grammar and sentence structure....and weak plot....let's just say if you don't have a BETA get one, and if you do, get a new one. One peice of constructive criticism: You rush your writing and it comes across as impetuous and sloppy. I think you have a good idea going but your writing needs some work.
    "I'll do what I can, Ron is acting like a ass." I thought that this was a one-time error you made in trying to post quickly, but you made the mistake more than once. In writing, the form a is used before a word beginning with a consonant sound, regardless of its spelling (a frog, a university). The form an is used before a word beginning with a vowel sound (an orange, an hour).
    Better luck next time.
    (Sorry for being such a bitch.)
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Jennifer on December 28, 2003
    I like the story enough so far, but I'm having a few problems with it.
    The hardest part of reading through your story so far is that you have a medium-sized amount of grammatical and spelling errors that break up the flow of your story. If you need a beta, please feel free to email me... I'd be happy to help you out.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - spaz141 on December 27, 2003
    Hope you are feeling better and thanks for the update.
    Report Review

  • From ArachneNonafel on December 27, 2003
    Looks fine to me! hehe More??
    Report Review

  • From ANON - spaz141 on December 14, 2003
    Now that was just bizarre and I almost never shis,his, too short. But hey, yay for the Severus and Harry. Thanks.
    Report Review

  • From ArachneNonafel on December 13, 2003
    Short but nice. More?
    Report Review

  • From ANON - shiv5468 on December 13, 2003
    I think that you have glossed over the last couple of chapters a bit quickly. It would have been nice if you had slowed the pace down a bit, and shown us more detail of what happened and how people felt about things.

    The start of this story was relatively well done, and had more of the details that people need to flesh out a story.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on December 13, 2003
    Glad to see that Sev won!!! Can't wait to see what happens when they get back to the dungeon;-) Deb >^..^
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Raija on December 13, 2003
    This is interesting....keep it up.
    Report Review

  • From ArachneNonafel on December 12, 2003
    Been with the story from the first and am enjoying very much. Never did like Fudge. Bloody wanker! Looking for future chappies. Later.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on December 12, 2003
    Just finished 11 &12*
    Report Review

  • From ANON - spaz141 on December 12, 2003
    To the death...oh my. Thanks.
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!