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Reviews for Beneath the Surface

By : MaryWarner
  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on March 16, 2004
    Chapter the Fourteenthe: The Mark of Integrity..... Iam glad to see that Hermione has someone that she can confide in, Ginny is a good choice for that!!!

    This meeting between Hermione & Sevewas was quite interesting!!! Not only did it give rest to her idea of him having an addiction, but it opened another door of trust into their visits/conversation times!!! Even if he was tired I don't think he would have shown her the mark if he didn't feel he had trust in her!!!

    I am looking forward to seeing just how she goes about finding out where Severus goes on his 'outings'!!! Til chapter 15, Deb >^..^
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  • From ANON - CAH on March 16, 2004
    I can't say enough about this story - it is absolutely wonderful and I love seeing the interaction between the two as Hermione goes through school. Keep up the good work!
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  • From ANON - karen/dedanaan on March 07, 2004
    This chapter was kind of sweet. I can see why he sort of regretted telling her his ethnic background what with the Czeckie/Rasputin moni she she has hung on him. And now Hermione is a girl on a mission, but she's haring off in the wrong direction. Should be funny to read the next chapter.


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  • From ANON - CAH on March 07, 2004
    ahhhhh, so the Dark Mark is making an earlier appearance than GoF!!! Poor Hermione is out to save Severus from drugs - this should make for an interesting chapter next time! And Severus is just so sweet to her, I can't wait for the ending...tI'lI'll go back and read the whole story from start to finish! Please just leave out Bella - I don't like her!!!
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on March 07, 2004
    Part 15, Chapter 13... I ADORE Hermione's Good & Bad lists about Severus!!! Glad to see that the Good outweighs the bad!!!

    I really do like the conversations these 2 have!!! She seems to be able to get him to open up about so much!!! It is amazing how she analyzes EVERYTHING, but I can't see her being any other way!!!

    I look forward to Chapter 14 as well as more conversationtweetween these 2!!! Deb >^..^
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  • From Anubis on March 03, 2004
    The only person's opinion that should matter to you is exactly that, yours. Those of us who post on this website do it for the sole enjoyment of writing. That said, I think that you've got a great start here (as I am only on chapter 2 and decided to post before reading the rest). The best advice I think that I can pass on is this: when you're writing DON'T think about what you're writing, just let the words flow from your pen (or keyboard) onto the paper. Afterwards, go back and re-read what you have written. If it looks good and sounds good spoken out loud, then it must be good. Also, a good Beta tak take care of any spelling or grammer mistakes that you may have made. But go back over the piece once you get it back, betas after all are only human like th erest of us and can make mistakes. Keep up the good work and I'm going back to reading.

    Anubis
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  • From ANON - karen/dedanaan on February 29, 2004
    I've finally gotten the chance to read past chapter 2, it just took me a while to do it. It's a different approach to the usual SS/HG fanfics in that you've decided to start right from day 1 of the first year of Hogwarts for Hermione. It's interesting to read the growing attachment between them, even though I'm going to be impatiently waiting for you to get to the point in the story where she's actually old enough for them to interact on the level of peers rather than teacher/young student. One thing, though - when you mentioned Hermione talking to Crookshanks during her summer holidays, I thought you were going to be writing about fourth year and skipping over second/third year entirely as Crookshanks didn't appentilntil Hermione bought him at the start of 3rd year (PoA).
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  • From ANON - Snapeaholic on February 29, 2004
    Yet another great chapter! Keep up the good work! :)
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on February 29, 2004
    Chapter 14... I really like the way you got this situation of them having conversations set up!!! For her to be nervous & him to be uncertain what she wanted all the way to the hug was well thought out, very realistic!!! I very much like how much her compliment hit him, so unexpected, but truly appreciated!!! I think that it was very much Snape for him to add in a condition at the end, he can't come off as being all soft now can he;-)

    As always I look forward to your next update!!! Til chapter 15, Deb >^..^
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  • From ANON - amy on February 29, 2004
    I just want to tell you that I'm really enjoying your story so far. The details that you take into account as you craft a story that supplements and compliments the books is amazing. So often authors try to write good fics but they neglect the full range of emotion that the characters are capable of. To create a full fleshed character you must have joy, sorrow, hope, self doubt etc. and to have a good story you have to explore each emotion, rather than just introduce it and leave it at that. I love how Hermione is childlike and mature at the same time, how she takes the greatest joy at the little things Snape does, how she debates and has conversations with herself and how their relashipship and encounters are starting to effect both of them. It's so real. I can't wait for the next update! ^_^
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  • From ANON - Snapeaholic on February 13, 2004
    I just wanted to add your characterizations are fantastic. You have Snape down to a T! I can totally sympathize with Hermione. When I was her age, I was too old for my age and madly in love with one of my professors, too. Nothing happened, unfortunately, but we did have a connection. Unfortunately my family moved away a year or two later, and I haven't seen him since. It's been 10 years, and I still think about him occasionally and wonder what might have been.

    Okay, sorry for that trip into Maudlin-ville. We all have our ghosts! :) Great story, hon. Keep it up!!!
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  • From ANON - Snapeaholic on February 13, 2004
    Great story so far! I just found this yesterday, and I spent a couple of hours reading it until I finished it up. Are you going to be going over each year and every major event therein? It's an interesting approach seeing how Snape and Hermione's relationship develops. I'm looking forward to seeing how it goes. It's very well written and definitely a good read! Just curious (and please don't take this the wrong way) - is there any way you could put a space between paragrapo tho that it is a little easier to read? I understand if you wouldn't have enough room to post the chapter intact doing that, but it would definitely help with the reading. Also, I wanted to say that you for not using the ** to emphasize words near as much in the later chapters. It really undermines your work.

    Aside from that - fantabulous work, darling! Keep up the good work and UPDATE SOON!!!
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  • From ANON - influenza1918 on February 13, 2004
    Another excellent chapter, though I wish it were a bit longer. I love the retelling of the story through these two different perspectives.
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on February 11, 2004
    I'm a bit behind here, sorry about that!!!

    Chapter 13... Yet another WONDERFUL chapter my dear!!! I think 1 of my favorite things about your story is that you put enough in it to know at which point you are at in relation to the books, but you bring out what we weren't shown of these 2 characters!!! I know that the books are about & based on Harry, but in already knowing that aspect of things it is nice to have a story built around a pair that I adore!!!

    As always I will be watching for your next update*
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  • From ANON - Astrid on February 09, 2004
    Hi! Me again. The formatting is better in this chapter, I guess, but there's another thing I noticed (sorry, if I'm annoying).
    If Hermione's only four month at this school, as you say rather in the end of "The Girl, who strives", then they can't have Care of magical creatures on wednesday, because that'subjeubject they only got in their third year.
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