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Reviews for Beneath the Surface

By : MaryWarner
  • From ANON - Astrid on February 09, 2004
    Hi! I've only read the first chapter so far, so I can't say much of the story yet, but it's already a very promising start.
    But still, there's something that was bothering me, while I read it. You write "the sunlight, he's been captivated by all night".
    Sorry, but did I miss something? Since when's sunlight shining at night?
    Oh, and you write something about appareting out of his rooms. As Hermione always says "You can't apperate at Hogwarts". ;-)
    And before I forget, I'd really recommend you to reformate your story. It's pretty hard to focus on such a flow of words without a stop or something like that in between.
    But keep the story coming. It's good (as far as I know yet). :-)
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  • From ANON - NegativeNine on February 08, 2004
    Wow, this is... amazing... however, it's killing my eyes to read it, the formatting is just painful. Just give a line of space between your paragraphs, and you'll be good to go. Seriously, this is a great story, and all you need (that I can say) is to fix the formatting. Everything else, your descriptions, your characterizations, your pacing... it's all great. Thank you fakinaking the time to write this, and I apologise if I've given any offense.
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  • From ANON - Krisztina on February 08, 2004
    This is a very richly detailed story, which are by far my favorite kind. If I were looking for an imperfection, the only thing I would change would be to ask that you include more paragraph breaks. It's a bit difficult to read on the screen. Other than that, I think that you have a terrific work here and I ookiooking forward to your next update.
    K~
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  • From ANON - Anon on February 07, 2004
    I'm with the others here - it's a fantastic story and great to see how their relationship develops, but....get rid of that Bella girl!! Yes, Severus needs human touch, etc...but leave it out of this story - or leave it out where the prostitute is concerned - Bella is bad news and she will always have a hidden agenda where Severus is involved.
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  • From ANON - Andrian on February 07, 2004
    This story looks very intriguing however I find it very hard to read. Could you maybe go back and seperate the chapters please. It would make it easier on the eyes

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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on January 30, 2004
    Chapter 12... The frustration they are feeling is so thick!!! I know that none s res really know the persona's of these characters (except for J.K. of course), but I am very much enjoying your take on them!!!

    I remember wI waI was 13 & had a HUGE crush on my Social Studies teacher!!! He was a WONDERFUL man who spoke to me as a person, not an annoyance!!! I can relate to the thoughts of a younrl wrl who is mature, yet still a child!!! Feelings have to start somewhere & most adults will just tell you that you have no idea.thatthat is true to a degree, but doesn't change the fact that the feelings are there & very real!!!

    I am very much looking forward to seeing this relationship go thru the many stages of growth that it has yet to face!!! Til chapter 13, Deb >^..^
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  • From ANON - Kate Mcguire on January 30, 2004
    This is a really good story. It is the first one that has given the inside veiw of the thougnt processes of two people attracted to each other when their ages are totally inappropriate at least in the beginning. But it dose happen in Real Life even to people who are not perverts. What do you do when you find yourself so attracted to your teacher not just physically but his intlellect and humor. But then you look down at yourself, a skinny flat-chested 12 year old and know that you can't possible offer any thing yet. Your mentlal maturty is far outstripping your physical growth. And so you sigh big and go to class, pay attention to every word he says, do well on tests and enjoy the eye candy. My fixation was a Sceince/Assistant Coach teacher who for all the world looked like Axelle de Sauvaterre's renderings of Sirius Black. If you haven't seen his art work yet check it out at the Sugarquill or on his own website De Sauveterre's Design/Cafe Press or on the Broomsticks group at Yahoo Groups.
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  • From ANON - influenza1918 on January 30, 2004
    Well, I've never been quite fond of the "understanding titutitute" cliche, but that's my only complaint. This is still one of the most beautiful studies of *both* main characters that I have read in fanfiction. Your writing style is lovely, and indicates a wonderful depth of understanding of human emotions. The development is natural and unforced, and every chapter is a sheer pleasure to read. Thank you for this jewel of a fic.
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on January 22, 2004
    Chapter 11... I must say that I'm not too happy about Seveus with that woman, but I do realize the why's behind it!!! He does need to have human touch & release & it will be quite some time before he can even consider getting it from where it will eventually come from!!! Too bad he couldn't have met Hermione after she was 18 or so;-) Looking forward to more & until chapter 12, Deb >^..^
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 22, 2004
    I like the story so far, but I'm not thrilled with this last chapter and what Snape did and I definitely do NOT like this Belladonna chick!! She is trying to take Severus from Hermione....please, no more of her and let's get with the real program - Severus/Hermione!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on January 22, 2004
    My Dear, I want to be one of the 1st to say that I am glad to see you posting this story here!!! I have been reading it on fanfic.net & it is a WONDERFUL story!!! Be prepared for the long haul, it is well worth the read!!! Deb >^..^
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