Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Beneath the Surface

By : MaryWarner

From ANON - nevillus on February 26, 2005
Just checking in on my favorite story. I miss you. *sitting here waiting not so patiently* lol
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From ANON - midnight tiger on January 05, 2005
Hey! i hope everything is alright? we havent heared from you in a while and i just wanted to drop a line to let you know we all miss your wonderful updates! ::hugs::
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From ANON - Zaphodette on August 23, 2004
Argh! Major cliff hanger! Everything was finally starting to go nicely and bam! more angst! I'd been neglecting this story for a while and came back to it happy to see all the updates!
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From ANON - midnight Tiger on July 20, 2004
SQUEEEEEE!!! This chapter was SO SHIBBY! thanks for posting it hun. oh my god i cant wait for more...what will he say to her, is he really gay or was that just an excuse...maybe he is bi? or is he compleatly unabailible to her. ooo, i want more! this chapter was wonderful, as was the last...ah and...um...i love you!!! HEHE you are a wonderful writter.thanks so much! Loved all the details.
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From ANON - influenza1918 on July 20, 2004
I actually have a real soft spot for fiction that involves a creative use of the time-turner - i.e. fics that don't involve either Hermione going back to the Marauder era and having every canonically named student falling in love with her, or trips to the future that result in sweet interactions with her oh-so-cute sprog. So, I was rather hoping you'd make use of the device, if just to see how you'd handle it.

I've been debating with myself as to whether the oh-so-responsible Hermione would actually behave so capriciously, and have come to the conclusion that yes, I can believe it. Hermione is very much the type who believes that her mind and self-posion ion afford a level of control. The fact that she has undoubtedly used the time-turner every day without incident would most likely make her confident in the assumption that nothing too out of line (in terms of paradoxes and the like) would occur, especially as her purpose was (mostly) to play observer. She's young and in love, so no doubt she justjustify it to herself.

There were a couple of points in which I flikelike I was being removed from the narrative, which made reading a bit choppy. The line "Years later, she would recall this clumsy request with the utmost embarrassment", for instance. Is she thinking that she'll still be embarrassed years from now, or is this story a reminiscence? The other was the parenthetical explanation of wizarding views on same-sex relationships, which felt too much like an inserted author's note.

Those are my only quibbles, though. Loved the description of Lucius especially - he exudes a dark charisma. The last line has me desperate to know what has been affected by Hermione's little excursion, and no doubt it feels like a slap in the face to her, both because of the realization of her own irresponsibility, and because her actions were truly borne out of (what seems to me to be) an attempt to empathize and relate better to someone she cares for very deeply.

Great work, as always.
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From ANON - Nevillus on July 20, 2004
So glad to see an update but i will find a way to get even for the evil cliffhanger. lol I was right i thought a time turner would show up in this chapter. You did a good job with it. I'm not much of a time turner fan unless it done right. (except for Crimson and Gold by Witch Lisa its my FAVORITE) I wonder how just a few minutes can change the future
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From ANON - Deb >^..^< . . on July 15, 2004
Part 24, Chapter the Twenty-Seconde: Unexpected Information and Shocking Revelations
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From ANON - influenza1918 on July 03, 2004
I wondered how you'd get into the events of book 3.

I still have to say that this is one of the most breathtaking, true-to-life character analyses of any fic I am reading. The last chapter seemed a bit short and without as much depth ( I love the long chapters!) This was lovely. Especially the image of the two of them just reading together, with this vast gulf of unidentifiability and yet connection. It was touching.

I know, I praise you every chance I get. But that's because I usually despise hints of chan and all the blah blah implications, and this just erases them all. It's an honest, real story with all of the hurdles and disquietudes such a story would involve. But at the same time it's so tender and so true to character.

Again, thank you for giving me such a reading pleasure.
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From ANON - Deb >^..^< . . on June 30, 2004
Part 23, Chapter the Twenty-firste: Heartstrings in Twain, Re-sewn Again... Real life has kept me quite busy the past few weeks & am in the process of trying to catch up on my reading!!! Yet another FANTASTIC chapter my dear!!! I think you are doing a FABULOUS job of writing Severus' inner conflict about his feelings for Hermione!!! Love is such a complicated thing & with Severus' past he has even more variables in play here!!! He has realized just how good she is for his life (& he does deserve good), but also sees that there are many aspects of this 'relationship' that have to be put on hold for a good long time!!! Hermione, even as young as she is, realizes these aspects as well & who can blame her for wishing that things could be different!!! There is one thing that I am a firm believer in & that is that if something is worth having it is worth working at!!! I do believe that these 2 have something that is the beginning of something that is well worth working at & that in the end what they grow into will be well worth the effort!!! I am very much looking forward to your next update!!! Til chapter 22, Deb >^..^
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From ANON - midnight tiger on June 29, 2004
is it just me or does Severus seem so much like a woman in this fic? Changing his mind over and over, pushing her away then pulling her back like some curly haired yo-yo. he's playing with her and not even meaning to. one minute he fiercly pushes her away only to grab her and pull her gently back. i think i would go nuts were i her. thankfully i'm not, and she is taking it all...rather in stride. (though i do know that all he would have to do is cross his arms over his chest, lean back against the desk, raise his eye-brow and say in his oh so sexy way 'indeed' and i would melt before him...::sigh:: if only) wonderfullne cne chapter hun, thanks so much for posting it. his reactions to the kiss were so well done and it wat want to throttle him at times. :)

thanks again!!!
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From ANON - Snapeaholic on June 18, 2004
That was weird. It didn't post all of my review. Anyway, a wonderful chapter as always. Keep up the good work!
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From ANON - midnight tiger on May 24, 2004
oh how precious! almost want to pat her on the head and send her off to bed like little Hermione Who down in WhoVill. and his actions and demeanor were just...wonderfully writen and well played. i REALLY loved the details you gave, both with the directions to the reading room, and the reading room itself. his feelings about the room were great too.
thanks so much, as usual, for posting hun. cant wait for more
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From ANON - Deb >^..^< . on May 23, 2004
Part 22, Chapter the Twentiethe: Meeting Happiness...

Behind again.... Real life can get in the way of the fun stuff way more often than I'd like;-)

This chapter is FANTASTIC!!! This goes to prove the saying.... The heart knows!!! The way you wrote the meeting between Severus & Hermione was done BEAUTIFULLY!!! The questioning of it all, the thought process that she went through to make her point, his inner conflict, it all pieced together PERFECTLY!!! Her accepting the fact that he would need more than she could provide & her finding a way to remedy that part of their situation shows just how much this all means to her!!!

I also like how you added in the bits of humor as well as allowing Severus to laugh!!! I think he was quite taken by Hermione's opinion of him in that dress!!! I also think that you did a FABULOUS job of writing out the kiss & all that led up to it!!!

I can't wait to see how things work out between them in the future chapters!!! I am looking forward to your next update!!! Maybe I'll actually be caught up by then.... I can hope anyway;-) Deb >^..^
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From ANON - influenza1918 on May 23, 2004
Ack! I can't believe i missed so many updates! I must admit, though, that it was a bit of a treat to have a nice, huge chunk of story to read. I think I have told you before that I don't think this story gets the recognition it deserves, as it is wonderfully written and paced. I also think that you strike the right balance when it comes to retelling canon events (which, face it, could be boring as all hell) in terms of reflecting the inner thoughts of your focal characters. You've done a very ballsy thing in exploring the development of a relationship (understated as it is) between Hermione and Severus without wanking the discrepancies in age and position,ethiething I find admirable, if for the mere reason that you've done such a good job with it.

That scene with the flowers a few chapters back was incredibly touching, and definitely encapsulated those ephemeral qualities which sto dto draw these two together in your story. And congrats on finding an original use for that time turner.
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From ANON - Snapeaholic on May 21, 2004
Fantastically written as always! The way you portrayed their first kiss was wonderful - sen sensitive. Keep up the good work! I am really enjoying the story so far.
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