Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for The Luckiest Man on Earth

By : AureliaFlint

From ANON - LilyMarielle on July 17, 2004
plz plz plz don't make them divorce!!! I made me sad enough about Adrian and Angie's breakup and I definitely won't take Aurelius and Natalya's divorce lightly.... :'( -_-' oh well, we can't do anything to change your mind, can we? Well, as much as I am sad about Angie and Adrian...you made an excellent chapter...as always!!

Hugs, Lily.
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From ANON - Winky on July 17, 2004
I am long overdue in writing a review of your work, although I have been following it faithfully since the beginning of "The Last Man." It's quite simply some of the hottest smut on the net. The multiple pairings and the variety of situations keep it interesting, and there's just enough plot and emotion to keep it from being mindless (It's NOT mindless, trust me) but without being ponderous either. Plus, there's something about the way that you describe their actions that's simply amazing.

The reason I have delayed reviewing is because I am compelled to correct two of your regular errors in punctuation (I'm a teacher in real life). I tried to let it go, thinking maybe somebody else would tell you or you'd learn on your own, but that hasn't happened, and it just bothers me too much. First of all, when addressing another person, you must always set that name apart with a comma, whether it's at the beginning, middle, or end of the phrase. For example: "Marcus, you are bothering me." "You are bothering me, Marcus." "You, Marcus, are bothering me." Every time you write "Merlin Adrian" (instead of "Merlin, Adrian"), it sounds like you've added to Adrian's name. A colleague of mine teaches this with the following example: "It's time to eat, Rover" (you're calling the dog to dinner) and "It's time to eat Rover" (you are eating the dog for dinner). This also applies when calling someone something other than his or her actual name, such as "You are bothering me, you git."

The second punctuation bugaboo is your lack of question marks in dialogue. You are allowed to use question marks, even when you're going to continue the phrase with an attribution. It's very confusing when you leave them out. Here's an example: "Do you really like me?" she said nervously. You often only have a comma where the question mark should be, and we have to re ore out on our own that she's asking a question and not making a statement.

I'm sorry it's taken me 50-some chapters to pass along these simple tips for better writing, and I hope you're not offended. If you have any questions, feel free to e-mail me.

Keep up the great work.
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From ANON - rubberduck on July 17, 2004
i really liked this chapter. you know, for never being introduced to daria, i really like her. she's sweet and 'innocent'. those 'innocent' girls are always the best. lol. i think it's really great that adrian and daria are together now. i thought your note at the end was hilarious. i guess because i'm a male, i understood about the looking. that disclaimer was for all the ladies who read this story.
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From aneir on July 15, 2004
Great job with the last chapter, and I appeciated the outline at the beginning. I've been reading this story for a while now and I can't remember if I've left a review. It's about time, isn't it? I completely understand how people are getting confused, but I would hate for you to stop the the different pairings, because they are all so amazing and intricate. That's one of the thngs I love the most about your stories; there are so many different charachters and they all get great scenes written about them. Right now I especially love Adrian/Daria. When you mentioned an Alec/Daria/Adrian threesome I got so happy, until I read that you weren't planning on writing it. I personally think that would be an incredible loss of excellent smut, and maybe you would sometime want to write it as a seperate one-shot or something. Wow, this has become a rather long review, so I'll stop here. I can't wait to read the rest!
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From ANON - Jorrn on July 10, 2004
Thanks for clearing up the confusion. I understand that those sexy Slytherins are quite active, but I was getting confused
with who was with who before and then where they are now. Do love all the pairings though! I still like the Marcus/Katieoryloryline as well as the Natalya/Aurelius with all the added sides. Had not really been into Daria's storyline, but must
admit she is growing on me. Feel bad that she was hooked up with a guy who dn'dn't commit. Would love to see how
Terry would react if she ended up with Adrian...jealous, but for who? Oh and now the Alec/Mariah storyline. I love that there
is so much going on! Can't wait for the next installment!
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From ANON - brina on July 09, 2004
*blinks* all these pairing are confussing. @@ all my fave pairing ships are getting mixed and probably won't end up together. but at least katie/marcus will stay together. keep going.
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From ANON - LUMEN1 on July 04, 2004
QUITE UNEXPECTED CHANGES!!!!

first of all, what happened with angus and alicia was very strange... i mean, they actually talked... go figure!!! am i dissapointed? no, not really, this shows me that alicia does love terry truly and to me, that is an excellent sign!!!!

oh boy, i knew it!!! angelina is definitely having positive thoughts about fred and with what just happened with adrian, i guess the changes are madeangeangelina should of thought better... she knows that adrian is a very delicate person with regards to his feelings and when she made the remark about him loving terry as a substitute for his dad was terrible!!!! very tactless from her behalf:(

ahhhh, so we have a new couple on the block, daria and adrian... i like it, i like it a lot;) i think that this couple is definitely well matched, she is inocent and very sweet and he is a know it all dandy of love LOL!!!! the love scene between them was ULTRA HOT!!!!! no wonder i can't stop loving adrian... he's sooooo incredibly hot!!!!

can hardly wait to see the reaction of terry when he finds his little daria in bed with his adrian.... WOW!!!

LUMEN1

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From ANON - Jorrn on July 03, 2004
Very hot. But must say that I will have to go back and re-read because I am getting all the couples mixed up!
Except for Marcus and Katie. It will be interesting to see who eventually ends up with who at the end of the
story! Can't wait to see what is in store next.
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From LadyFlint on July 03, 2004
Yay! Ally & Derrick!

You don't know how much I love that ship! And Adrian and Daria are growing on me.

As for Angie, I am rapidly going off her at the moment. Though a chappie including her and Fred would be very nice, lol.

Right I can't remember if I reviewed Chapter 23. Anyway, if I have sorry because I'm reviewing again. Lucius is a bastard! I can't believe he'd do that to Natyla! Though he is the right hand man to Voldemort so you know, anything is possible with him.

Must dash, keep writing hunni!

x
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From ANON - rubberduck on July 03, 2004
it's hard to keep saying the same thing about each and every chapter. how can i come up with so many variations of "what a great chapter" or "you are such a talented writer" i'll just state the obvious and tell you i can't wait to read more of your story. the lives of these slytherins are so compelling. i think it's rather funny that of all the stories online about the harry potter universe, they all revolve around gryffindor (for obvious reasons) and slytherin. do we really think ravenclaw and hufflepuff are that boring? hehe, yeah, i guess so. hufflepuff are loyal and hardworking. ravenclaw are wise and intelligent. that makes for fun times eh. i'm off track today. like i said, i await impatiently for the next installment to your wonderful world.
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From ANON - deblovesdragon on July 03, 2004
Please more Marcus and Katie. The rest of them are too flighty. I need a scorecard to keep up with their conquests. Which, I know, is strange to be saying when reading smut. I guess that I am just fond of monogomy. Are they going to finally pick a partner by the end of the fic? Please.
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From ANON - Niki on July 03, 2004
Oh no,ase ase don't break Adrian and Angelina up! They have to stay together, please!!!!
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From jkrazed on July 03, 2004
Whew. Sorry. Can't think of any other comment than that. Whew. Pardon my lack of speech.
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From ANON - OliverWoodsGal on July 02, 2004
WOW!
The last chappie was great. I mean Lucius...I'm at a loss for words, I just want Aurelius to find out and cut sick at him. I feel sorry for Natalya's 's like she only wants to attention from her loved ones and they keep rejecting her.
Can't wait for the next part!
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From ANON - Jorrn on July 01, 2004
Oh my. Naughty Lucius. I think he underestimates Aurelius' feelings for his wife. I think cousin or no, that he would best keep quiet.
Wonder if their marriage can survive this. Love all the different story lines that are going on! Am addicted to this story and
the angst of the couple!
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