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Reviews for Be Mine

By : Muzicgurl76
  • From ANON - ancientgirl on March 26, 2004
    Your story ha int interesting concept, and the plot is good. However you need to separate the paragraphs, because it's all bunched up together and makes it difficult to read as it is. Whenever you have a character speak it should always be considered a new paragraph. And I think you can dispense with the comments within the story. It throws the reader off. If you want people to take your story seriously these notes are not a good way of doing it.


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