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Reviews for Animal Instinct

By : tawnyteaser

From ANON - NightQueen on June 18, 2004
WOW!!! I have just discovered this Fabulous story!!! It's taken me the better part of two hours to go through all the chapters!!! I love it!! I love the storyline and I love the way you've written my favorite couple!!! I really hope there's more coming soon!!! Wonderful job!
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From ANON - DawnEB on June 18, 2004
Sorry, I was going to send you the Snape Plushie, but I don't think you will want it now I've drooled all over it. I only came across this story tonight, and the biggest complaint I have is that IT IS STILL TOO SHORT -UPDATE, UPDATE, and UPDATE again.
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From ANON - aramis on June 18, 2004
This is a really interesting original idea and I like what you did so far although the timeline seems a little slow so far (is it two weeks altogether?)
I was wondering about the whole pregnancy motiff. would it be even possible to carry the child while her body changes drastically every month? also, if she takes the silver doses while she is pregnant that could mean that her child will be deformed and dim-witted to boot. maybe that could add a tragic cast to the story but I'm not sure if that is where you want your story to go. even if a little poison doesn't kill you it can still have profound effects on you(like permanent infertility for example)
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From ANON - Lana on June 18, 2004
I really like your story, it's definetly one of the most unique I've seen so far. Ie yoe you keep writing to let all us anxious peoknowknow what is going to happen with Hermione.
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From ANON - Anon on June 18, 2004
I never thought I would do this, but...
I am.
I just want to say that if I thought the story was bad, I would not have bothered to write a review in the first place. Tawny has a great creative imagination, and is writing a well-plotted story. However, there are some obvious things she needs help with, and that is why I took the time to review--to HELP her make her writing better. Why should reviews just applaud the good stuff and leave out any constructive criticism? Why should she just be content with a good story, when she could make it a great one?

As far as using the MS Word and the thesaurus, I don't. This is the way I write naturally. I have a high IQ, a large vocabulary and spend 2-3 hours a day writing. I've had my writing professionally critiqued, and I know of what I speak.

I've read all 19 chapters, and am looking forward to more.

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From ANON - rei on June 18, 2004
Longer chapters, please! :)
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From ANON - raven on June 18, 2004
Nice chapter-thanks for posting it so quick. ing ing her out of the wards first works since that chapter was a bit vague, but if you ever re-write this or edit it in full it might be something to clarify in chapter. Excellent Harry, I can see him doing just that after his anger with Dumbledore. Got to admit, I'm still a bit upset with the old guy. Nice to see Remus is thinking for himself, if only Snape would do the same. Bit curious about what's up with Ron though. Aren't we near the full moon now? It runs the 3 nights (before, actual moon, and after), so if I remember correctly, tonight should be the first of the three? Or am I off by one? As for titles, not sure on that. Numbers work, or you could name it by progression of the SS/HG relationship, or even by action. All depends on your preference. I always like when it runs along the main plot, that way if you are re-reading or noting something it is easier to find. Looking forward to 19!
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From ANON - beyond_evil on June 18, 2004
If someone has a problem with the personal comments at the end of a chapter, they should keep their comments to themselves. Don
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From ANON - beyond_evil on June 18, 2004
HELL YA!!!... I'm from Alberta...oh man...I wish I wasn't but oh well....the crappiest place in Canada is still better than the best place in the UI'mI'm not American bashing, just stating a simple fact.
Anyways....GREAT chapter. Your chapters have such good flow. I would love to see Hermione get caught kissing another guy by none other than Snape. That would be delicious. He would be so mad. Can't wait for the next chapter ^.^
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From ANON - Anon on June 18, 2004
This is an interesting story, with a creative premise. I have a couple of constructive comments. I've read up to chapter 7, just so yoow wow where I'm coming from.
1- You've created some real sexual tension. However, the plot is not entirely believeable, particularly in regards to Lupin's and Dumbledore's condoning the liaison. Also the way Snape just flat out caved from the very beginning. He is a smart man, knows what he has to lose, and I think he could be a bit more creative in thwarting her. That might just be me. Hermione, with her cat/werewolf DNA, actually is intirely believable, but just isn't the girl we've grown used to. It's more of a whole different character. There is just something missing.
2- The really interesting, *different* thing that you've created is the Hermione cat/werewolf. You'vvotevoted a lot of words to the sexual part, but theas bas been a lot of HG/SS pairings in other literature. Her vengeance is a great opportunity to do something suspenseful, scary, and exciting. I really hope to see you do a lot more with that.
3- Your prose is very weak, and so is your writing style. This will come in time, but only if you keep writing and get yourself a good beta/editor to help you with it. You need someone who can critique your writing in a more thorough way than what you can get here.
4- Your grammar and punctuation really need attention. In some places it was so bad that I had to re-read the passage to understand what you were saying. This goes beyond the misuse of 'their' and 'there' and things like that. Get a beta!
5- Personal comments in parentheses are unprofessional and spoil the reading. Leave them out. Actually the personal comments at the end of each chapter are a bit annoying, too.

Hope this helps.
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From ANON - trinaa on June 17, 2004
Great story. I was happy to find it here, I had been reading it at fanfiction.net. Update soon. Can't wait to see what happens next.
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From ANON - lanie on June 17, 2004
i'm 4 chappies in and i already lovethis story. i can't wait for remus to figure out, if he figures it out, that she's got cat in her blood.
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From ANON - raven on June 17, 2004
Excellent update...leaves lots of room for speculation. Not sure about Dumbledore just taking Snape's word out of turn, I would hope he would want to speak with Hermione before taking such a drastic step. While jumping to conclusions when emotions are on the line is in character for Snape, I hesitate to agree with the Headmaster doing the same as Snape in this situation. Of course, it wouldn't be as effective an end to their new relationship. Does cause one to wonder...where did Snape get such a collar on such short notice? Whips and chains anyone?

Re: apparition...if I recall, the only wizarding requirement is you must be 17 and pass the Apparition test (given at the Ministry-book 5 mentions the department when Harry is going to the hearing.) As for apparition at Hogwarts, while I cannot remember any teacher doing this within the wards of the school during the books, I do recall several comments by Hermione that House Elves can use apparition within Hogwarts as normal wizarding apparition is not possible. Whether that means no one can or only staff can, or that the Headmaster can allow certain people to do so is another matter. While I am not questioning that an 18 year old Hermione couldn't apparate (in fact, considering her character I would expect her to be lined up at the office to take her test on her birthday) I am questioning whether she did it through the castle wards. After all, if this was possible, couldn't anyone come into the castle and cause any number of problems? Hope this clears things up.

Looking forward to where you are taking this-hope to see the look on Severus and Remus's faces when the moon reveals some of Hermione's secrets!
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From ANON - beyond_evil on June 16, 2004
Canada kicks ASS!!!! ITS COLOUR not COLOR!!!! hahaha...I'm a Canadian, and proud of it ^.^
Anyways.... regarding the story...WELL DONE! You are very talented, and I like the pace at which the story unfolds. And I can't believe how speedily you update...its almost unearthly...although, you are Canadian so I wouldn't expect anything less.

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From ANON - Lyndie578 on June 15, 2004
Well, this is great smut! A little OOC for Snape I think, but what the hell, it makes for great tension. Malfoy is such an ass, thanks for the laugh at his expense. I look forward to new posting. How will Severus handle Hermione's pursuit of the werewolf DE's?
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