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Reviews for Broken Smile

By : pidge
  • From ANON - Verdell on September 26, 2004
    Nice Story! Enjoyed it, though there's still some problem with your subject verb agreement. Other then that, it's good. Looking forward to your next update! ^_^
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  • From ANON - lyn on September 23, 2004
    Hi, sweetie, I'm enjoying your story, keep it going! Good improvements on spelling after chapter 3! It's a good main idea, I'm interested to see where you'll take it.
    lyn
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  • From ANON - claire on September 21, 2004
    great story i cant wait til the next chapter keep writting!!! :)
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  • From ANON - Jamie on September 21, 2004
    Hey. :) A great chapter. You've got more length, a little more in-depth content, your spelling is much better, and it's easier to read because of the spacing between the paragraphs. :) Wonderful job! Only one constructive criticism today :) Plurals vs. Possessive: one hand or two hands, one arm or two arms. Off the top of my head, I can't think of a good reason to use "arm's", which is possessive, implying that the next word following belongs to it. Example: Ron's girlfriend is Jen. Ok, you could say "the arm's length" which would talk about the length of the arm... but I think you get my point. :) Just trying to help out. I wonder what the next chapter will bring! :) (btw, I love how Ron avoided making that promise to Hermione at the very end. ;) Way to go! :) hehehe)
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  • From ANON - Jamie on September 20, 2004
    Hey. I like this story, it seems like you've got something going here. An interesting beginning to say the least. However: PLEASE get a beta!!!!!!!!! You have several spelling errors, even with wordke "ke "Weasley" and "Hermione". I'm guessing you write a chapter and then immediately post it. Please read your chapter once or twice (after writing) before you post, ok? Also, please put spaces between your paragraphs. I know I sound mean, but I'm just trying to offer some constructive criticism. Good luck with the next chapter. :)
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  • From ANON - pinky on September 19, 2004
    Uh, I hope you won't be offended by my offer but would you like me to beta for you? I could fix your spelling mistakes and what not.
    Anyhow, WHICH Weasley brother? Come on, don't leave me hanging! *G* Ohh Draco is a jerk, I LOVE it when he's like that. Can't wait for more.
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  • From ANON - Anon on September 19, 2004
    Hi I just wanted to say that I really enjoy your story so far :) You really don't have that many spelling mistakes at all, just one or two, but no big problem. You could always try running it thru word processing or email editor spell checker if you're worried about it.

    Can't wait for your next chapter :)
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  • From ANON - pinky on September 18, 2004
    It's not bad ar. ar. I can't wait to read more and find out who she's paired with. Which of the Weasley brothers? Fred? George? Bill? Charlie? Enquiring minds want to know!!
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  • From ANON - anonymous on September 18, 2004
    Can't wait to read more!
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