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Reviews for Protector

By : freakenbree
  • From BudClark on December 27, 2007
    I presume that English is not your first language ... that's fine ... but you simply MUST get yourself a beta-reader whose first language IS English. Mistakes like writing "menstruation" (a women's monthly menstrual cycle) for "ministration" (to take care of) may be amusing, but they break the flow of the story. English is tricky ... there are many homonyms/homophones (words that sound the same but mean different things). This is in NO way a criticism of the story OR your ability to write ... just get yourself a strict beta who will REALLY correct the grammar and spelling mistakes.

    Cheers,

    Rusty
    San Diego CA USA
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  • From ANON - Crysta on October 01, 2006
    This is a fantastic story. I likethe (obvious) mutual interest between harry and Snape, and look forward to Sev's eventuall trust buildign excercises. More More More!
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  • From ANON - SpoonNinja on June 23, 2005
    OOOOH SO FAR I LIKE >_< Hot stuff
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  • From ANON - rusty on April 07, 2005
    Bree, you owe me a keyboard (chuckle). You win the "Malapropism of the Decade" award for writing "menstruations" instead of "ministrations".

    It's a good story, but did a beta ever see it? There are so many mis-spellings, wrong homonyms, grammar errors, and such that I gave up after the second chapter ... I simply couldn't follow the story.

    Rusty
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  • From ANON - Angie/Les` on January 02, 2005
    Good job but a bunch of your typos are really hard to understand. Update soon.
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  • From ANON - Sigrid on December 20, 2004
    Love it! Please update!
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  • From ANON - Kayla on December 01, 2004
    Great story! I like the plot and the guilt Snape feels is a nice touch to the story, it makes it more believeable. Why did Snape have to give Harry the potion with his mouth instead of just pouring it inside? I have to say I like the situation in your story better, though. The descriptions are wonderful, really draws you in. Keep it up, and write faster please!
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  • From ANON - DarkRain on November 27, 2004
    Me likee, please write more.
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  • From ANON - Agnes on October 22, 2004
    Nice enough a concept allright, BUT DO SOMETHING ABOUT YOUR ENGLISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    When it isn't your mother tongue, and you do not master the language sufficiently, then at least get a beta!!!!
    It really ruins the pleasure of reading when you have to rephrase about every other sentence to get the intended meaning...
    Keep trying though.
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  • From ANON - Bree on October 21, 2004
    Market for a beta? Eh? Why don't you email me or im me and ask.

    forgiven_entity@hotmail.com

    AIM SN: Forgiven Entity
    MSN SN: Same as email
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  • From ANON - Joey on October 21, 2004
    Very sweet story, are you in the market for a beta?
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  • From ANON - Bree on October 21, 2004
    Roger that! Hey, thanks for the spelling correction. I was wondering about that. See usually I use other words, but I tried that one and wasn't thinking when I typed it. I was having a controversy with my brain and my fingers. This is why I try to proof read my stuff. At one point I wrotenapenape saw the boy the was on the boy.' Crazy eh? Okay, so starting today, I will start on the new chapter. Critisism is much appreciated! I like to improve. Thanks to all those who've been reading, I am soon going to come out with a new HP/SS slash,watcwatch for that as well. This is partly why it takes me longer to do these chapters.

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  • From ANON - Katie K on October 21, 2004
    Dang... you just HAD to say five different people. Of course, I could think up names and type out other reviews, but I wouldn't do that. But please DO update! I thi this story so much! The only problem I have is that you say things like Snape could feel a stirring in his lions...lions are big cats with manes... you mean loins... sorry, I'm a perfectionist, repeated errors with spelling irritate me. But seriously, I love this story so much! Please update soon. If yon'ton't, I might just have to hunt you down and tickle you to death. :)
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  • From ANON - Krystal925 on October 20, 2004
    Please continue! Pretty please?
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  • From ANON - Katie K on October 19, 2004
    different people. :-P Sorry about the third review, forgot to type my name. Please please please update!!! I am completely addicted to this story!
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