Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Contracts

By : laceyweasley

From ANON - SiriusLives689 on November 15, 2004
Oooh...very good, Miss Weasley!!! Hope you are not receiving too much flack ...I know that you won't answer but I have to ask, if the baby is six months and she has been dead a year...that is off but, they could have been doing without for six months or so...good gosh, you have to continue...BTW, I liked the dicipline chair and the ceremony, and all the other stuff...sigh, the weak at heart! Anyhow...what frustrated you into writting your own fic? It's GREAT!!
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From ANON - JW on November 15, 2004
Ch 6 - "Shanair was a little unsettled ... would marry a muggle before he married that whore Parkinson" - you mean Shaman; Shaman is the one betrothed to Pansy. Shanair is the one who has Hester. Severus "had been without companionship for almost a year" - but his daughter Sarah is six months old? Severus "didn
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From ANON - Caroline on November 14, 2004
Your story is well written and kind of interesting, but she is only 14 (or 16). It does seem kind of perverse to be making her sleep nude in order to form a bond with this wizarding family. I am really glad that the wizarding world in that belongs to JKR is not yours. Its so barbaric....Ginny Weasley does not seem like a beaten little girl neither do the slytherin girls.
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From ANON - allzugern on November 12, 2004
Just letting you know that you need to go back and properly label the WARNINGS for your story. The proper labels would be :
CHAN,NON-CON,D/S,BONDAGE. To let the potential reader know that your story is about an underaged character, in sexual situations without her consent, that it contains bondage and dominance/submission themes. Not to do so is a violation of the readers trust. Many do not like one of the previously mentioned, not to mention all of them. Please be more careful with the way your stories are labeled. It is also not correct to label the story as Hr/SS or Hr/SNAPE as in canon he has NO sons, and they are therefore your original characters. I saw that this is the first story you posted here, so maybe you are new to fandom and are not aware of the way stories need to be labeled. I think here under FAQS you can find what authors need to include in the warnings as per the webmistress.
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From ANON - AnyuBoo on November 12, 2004
This is a really good story. I hope she ends up with Severus...I've always liked a cuddly Snape. :) I'll be watching eagerly for more updates (knowing, of course, that they don't happen daily, but that never kept us readers from hoping for it ) Keep up the great work.
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From ANON - olka-polka on November 12, 2004
I like your story... It's unusual, i's not white and fluffy, it's good written and all these makes the story great. And see HOW MANY DIFFERENT REVIEWS!!!!! I think that means nobody was left indifferent :)
Thank you. Please continue.
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From ANON - JW on November 12, 2004
Ch 5 - glad you've cleared up some of the details. Re Sarah - is that Severus' daughter? It will be interesting to see how he and the boys treat Sarah compared to Hermione; if Hermione truly is a daughter, she should have as many rights as Sarah. As for which Snape she weds - I suppose Severus is the one who can best protect her from his nasty father, although he needs to show her affection and not just discipline. Other than Severus, I'd go for Zaraus (the smiley one who seems nice), then Shanair (Severus' second son who thinks Hermione is lovely); NOT his eldest son (the mind-control freak who seems very nasty). I'm looking forward to reading your next chapter about what Severus says to his boys. Somehow, I don't think this magical chastity belt and "Hermione must do whatever the boys say" will protect her if they force her to submit to anal sex or fellatio. The boys should get to the Discipline Chair as well. Although Severus should know that there is "positive reinforcement" and not just "negative reinforcement" (spanking, whipping). How will you handle the whole Voldemort/Death Eater thing? Severus is still a spy?
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From ANON - SiriusLives689 on November 12, 2004
Absolutly wonderful chapter, terrific, fantastic...excellent...need more, I could break out the Thursouras. I right now am just happy the way it is going. I don't care which Snape she ends up with, I trust your opinion, well, maybe she could end up with the wrong one and the right one come in with both barrels blazing, but that is just the cowboy in me...your fic! it is wonderful, don't get frustrated and update and I will review!!
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From ANON - Ruby Snape on November 10, 2004
Interesting concept. I am enjoying your story so far. I look forward to reading more.
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From ANON - Severina V. Snape on November 08, 2004
Is it over? do you write back?!?! or what ... I don' understand
maybe my english is too bad or it is to late in the night...how ever
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From ANON - Catherine on November 06, 2004
Please don't be discouraged by the close-mindedness of others! I think your story is just fascinating, and I hope to see an update soon.
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From ANON - JW on November 06, 2004
Re timeline - "Hermione would not be 15 for almost 4 more months" - this means your story (the "cony"ony" part) takes place immediately after her fourth year (after Dumbledore tells Severus to go back to Voldemort), and before her fifth year (which is when "Order of the Phoenix" occurs). So you can't have "Order members" present since Ord Order hasn't yet been introduced. Also, since Voldemort is alive and Severus is supposedly a loyal Death Eater, I don't think Sevewoulwould have guests like Lupin or others who are hostile to Voldemort. It would probably be better if you made Hermione older - maybe the start of her sixth or seventh year.
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From ANON - eve/roarke on November 05, 2004
NOW I KNOW WHY YOU SUPPORTED RACHELW. YOU ARE AS SICK AS SHE IS.
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From ANON - raven on November 05, 2004
I don't know about this one, it seems to be wobbling a bit. You have already indicated through Hermione's investigations with other contracted girls that this ceremony usually occurs when the girls are younger. If so, the this scenario makes Master Snape a child molester for his treatment of Severus's wife and the purebloods as a whole a group of sexual predators. Additionally, many of the requirements on Hermione while there seem more for the purposes of manipulation and degradation-she must be in close contact, no contact with friends or family, she must abide by their wishes at all times, she has no ability to protect herself and she can't even choose to have time alone or to sleep as "skin on skin" contact is required. Honestly, I see absolutely no value in this for Hermione-her parents have betrayed her into a life of slavery at best, gang banging at worst. She is forced to rely on the protection of a man who has already bound and violated her on mulitple occasions and added to this her free will, magic, and control over her body have all be taken from her. If it were me, I would be looking for the poison or practicing all the eviceration and demasculation spells I knew-or mostmost painful I could find.

The spanking was excessive. A certain number of hits dependant upon the infraction is fine and can be an excellent learning tool. But when you have Snape "spanked her until she was gasping for breath" following an ordered number of spankings you have lost the purpose entirely.e ofe of thumb is one spank for ever year in age, in other words you would not spank a 4 year old 10 times because at that point they comprehend the pain, not the link between bad behaviour and the punishment. Based his his description and the spankings during the ceremony and later at home you have gone far past the 14 she has into at least double that number. Again, this seems more to humiliate and degrade her than teach her the new world she has been inducted into and corrpoorpoor behaviour.

While the remark on where the boys go to school is appreciated, the ages still don't fit. It is a matter of canon that Snape and the Potters were in the same year. As is the fact that the Potters married right out of school and had Harry soon after. At best, Snape gets married right out of school and his wife is immediately pregnant. That puts his first kid born roughly a year after he graduates making him maybe 15/16 now if Hermione and Harry are 14 now. You put him far too old for this scenario-fudging a year or two is ok, but when age is this integral to the plot you can't go that far into fudging canon.

We know little about pureblood culture beyond the "grey areas" alluded to in the books. While I fairly enjoyed your fleshing out the structure, I cannot reconcile what you show with what we know from canon. In this world everyone is contracted at birth and married soon after graduation. You would have an extremely laropulopulation of young parents and young grandparents. Even if each couple only has one child, you have already greatly increased the population of Hogwarts. Add to it that this scenario makes all women property contingent on their fathers or husbands decree with little to no considerate treatment and I see no reason why the women have not utterly destroyed the men. Even in cultures where this is practiced today there is consideration and special care give to women and mothers.

Who is Sarah? There was no Sarah mentioned before this?

If she is contracted to the Snape family this should be removed from HG/SS category. You are playing back and forth rather coyly with who she will be matched with-while establishing that it won't be him. If that is the case then this is HG/OC and belongs in a different category. Added to that, Hermione is no longer a virgin. Penetrating by an object still counts under every criminal code I have ever worked with. While she did nnjoynjoy the experience any woman can tell you the first time isn't always great. So while it wasn't with a penis she can no longer claim virgin status-there are even witnesses.

While I am curious about where you are going with this, I must admit that each sucessive chapter becomes slightly more humiliating and horrific from a female point of view. I like Marriage Law Challenge stories and I especially like stories where Severus is not a shiny, happy person just looking for the right person to love him. So while I am interested for your building of pureblood society and your take on this challenge I am incredibly concerned for the subissiveness and degradation that Hermione seems to be in for-I simply cannot see canon Hermione, even at 14, submitting to becoming a sexualized womb with magic. This is your story and it is fascinating but please keep an eye on the violence and sexual molestation. This is far too good an idea to be debased to a sexual gang bang scenario that it seems to be heading for.

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From ANON - Claribel on November 05, 2004
It's really hard to know what to say about this story. It's a really interesting premise for a story but I'm starting to lose the plot a bit. I would like to be wrong, and will continue to read, but wanted to bring up a couple of points that have struck me at this stage in the story.

Firstly, I cannot imagine how this is better for Hermione than being a muggleborn in the wizarding world. So far she has no respect, no dignity, no free will, no chance to be herself and her body is distinctly not her own to do with as she chooses. Was the idea that she would be better off simply a ruse to get her from her parents so that she could be abused? If so, this doesn't seem part of the setting up of the story at all. I'm afraid it'll be like one of those murder mystery novels where you try to guess who did it, and it was the third person in the bus queue on page 5 who has no other mention in the story. If there is foreshadowing of this in the story, then it's passed me by.

Secondly, the binding ceremony really did start to read as a 'top ten of horrible things you can do to a young woman'. Is there any more to come? I think less is more, and there's way too much.

Thirdly, if tindiinding ceremony was meant to be used on a child, then the wizarding world is full of perverts who get off on humiliating and degrading children. Lupin seemed to know the score, so presumably the purebloods do. Why did they stand by and let it happen? Why does the binding have to be sexual? What is the purpose of that? Are adults suppoto bto be sexually attracted to babies and small children for it to work?

I'm still hoping all of these will be answered by the story, so I will continue to read for a while.

Lastly, if this isn't Snape/Hermione you really should move it. Shippers are very protective as you know and you'll only get pointless flames!

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