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Reviews for Contracts

By : laceyweasley
  • From on November 03, 2004
    Really interesting...hope to read more soon.
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  • From ANON - pinky on November 03, 2004
    I admit I wasn't overly crazy with the first two parts but this third was very interesting. I can't wait to read more. Great job on this last chapter.
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  • From ANON - RachelW on November 03, 2004
    You did better on keeping it in past tense in this chapter, but there were several gramatical errors. Your handling of the emotions his vis very nice, but it really would come across more powerfully if you had a beta who could clean up the grammar and help with the wording which is a bit awkward in places.

    Okay, gramar aside, this story is really different. I can't want to see what hapens next. I'm looking forward to learning more about all this, and Hermione's year spent in the past, and who Snape is in this. You're right about there not being a lot of information about Snape...I also use what JKR has said about him in interviews to charachterize him because in the books there isn't a whole lot to go on about who he is. I'm looking forward to book six since I think there will be a lot more information...I have a suspicion that Snape is the half-blood prince, but I'm not sure. And all that happened in front of a crowd....Lupin was there....who else?

    As to Snape being nice or mean, I think he would be very strict, not very nice. I read your reviews thus far and apparently people have been traumatised by my story, but really, I have a hard time seeing Snape as loving and sweet, he's just not, though maybe he thinks he can be in his own way.


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  • From ANON - Rainny on November 03, 2004
    Heh heh! Good one you have there.
    Loving Snape is sweet but bastard Snape is more interesting. All is up to you just making sure that you update soon!

    Thanks,
    Rainny
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  • From ANON - innogen on November 03, 2004
    Well, since Dumbledore approved I don't think this Snape should be a bastard--and since he went through all the pureblood ceremony's to ensure she would have just as much respect as any other pureblood, then the other snobs need to treat her well or
    Snape coue a e a bastard to THEM! School might be weird. Interesting. I wonder what that "unsaid" thing Hermione is worried about.

    I hope Snape doesn't treat her like property. I was reading another marriage law fic where that was happening, and I really can't take those.

    He promised to take responsibility for her emotional well being. He'd better live up to that.

    Innogen

    But of course, 'tis your story....
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  • From ANON - Marianne on November 03, 2004
    I am hoping for a loving Snape...I think I have been traumatized by RachelW's story and I think a loving one would be nice. I like your first 2 chapters and am interested to see what happens now that she belongs to the family Snape.
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  • From ANON - kishkitten36 on November 03, 2004
    I like it so far. It's an interesting approach to the marriage law fic idea.

    I think you should keep Snape fairly in character in the upcoming chapters. What we see in the book is the exterior, though, so his character can be expanded upon within reason when you're writing about what goes on behind closed doors. To keep it close to canon, for example, you could have there be minimal personal contact other than the basic responsibilities for at least her fifth year. And since he promised her parents to allow her life to remain as normal as possible, her interaction with them would fit with that. I think that he could easily be a combion oon of bastard and loving, imo. From what I understand, he is now her legal guardian but not yet married to her? So when would you have him insist on the actual marriage/sex?

    I'm curious if there is a back story. You mentioned briefly that she was sent back in time by accident and that added to her age, as well as her time turner use in 3rd year. Are you going to expand on this a little?

    Since all fanfic is AU, some more so than others, there is always the freedoth ath artistic license. But I have to admit, it always bugs me when Hermione is made to be a reddhead in fanfic. She is a brunette. Brown is brown and red is red and there is a difference. So I am curious if there is an AU backstory that does not follow canon.

    All in all, though, great concept for story imo.
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  • From ANON - June on November 03, 2004
    Ch 2 - oh yeah, my vote is for Loving Snape (but snarky to everyone else). Is Voldemort dead yet in your story?
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  • From ANON - June on November 03, 2004
    Ch 2 - wow, this sure is a fascinating set of wizarding customs you've created. This means she can't have any boyfriends - how will Severus prevent that? If she spent a whole year in the past, she might be ready for those NEWTs after all. Will you tell us more about yea year in the past? Did she study at Hogwarts then?
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  • From on November 03, 2004
    Bastard Snape, he is the coolest. But he still has a loving side, just does not show it as much as his bastard side.

    Love the story, keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 03, 2004
    good story so far. make him a loving bastard. snarky but loving to her ans still a bastard to everyone else

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  • From ANON - Anon on November 03, 2004
    A new take on the Marriage Law, and I like it. I say loving Snape. I have been reading a lot of bastard Snape..... and I am also a sucker for sloshy romance.
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  • From ANON - Tristan on November 03, 2004
    My vote would be "Loving Snape." Here, Hermione is, after all, 14 -- a bit too young to be traumatized and remain healthy. Interesting story line and "wizarding laws," by the way.
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  • From ANON - RachelW on November 03, 2004
    Wow...just wow. I'm still not sure what all is happening here, apparently that will be filled in as the story goes along. I was so glad to see a chapter two when I hit refresh on the AFF page.

    One suggestion, while this is very powerfully written, you have a tendancy to slip between past and present tense. The s wou would read much more smoothly if this were corrected and kept in past tense. Other than that, you have captured the emotiothe the fear...and I'm still not sure what to think of Snape in this story...is he really looking out for her, or has he manipulated her parents into accepting this? Going on what I've seen so far I'm leaning a bit towards he's actually looking out for her...but I do have some doubt. Either way, this should prove to be a very good story.
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  • From ANON - June on November 02, 2004
    Ch 1 - great start! I like the way Severus plans ahead. Looking forward to reading the next chapter.
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