Reviews for And They Didn\'t Live Happily Ever AfterBy : ElizabethStump |
*****deep breath******
Okay, great story so far.Chapter 46- I loved the names of the Weasley's new toy line! Very creative, especially the words used to trigger the charms. The scene in the spa was great. Severus obsessing over Hermione while trying to distance himself from the body massage he so cunningly arranged to give her (my absolute favorite indulgence - a full body massage). I think it was more intriguing when he was watching her but could only see a small slice of the room. It made the scene that much more erotic. And the end, the heart wrenching goodbye at the door. All in all, a great build up to "The Anniversary Dinner".
Chapter 47 - Wow. You're descriptions of the carriage and restaurant were amazing. I could actually "see" the grandeur of the room, very elegant. You definitely painted an interesting picture of the dinner between Ron and Hermione. You could feel their discomfort, the long uncomfortable silences, the lack of conversation, the absence of any common ground, the biting comments when they did speak, and the lack of passion or even affection between them. They really need to pull the plug on their marriage and put it "out of its' misery" so to speak.Viktor was an interesting surprise. It's between him and Draco as to who was watching her leave Severus's, or maybe Ginny? Great characterization of both Hermione and Severus at the end. I like how they started to move forward, Hermione saying his name before passion over took them, before bringing everything to a grinding stop.
While this has to be one of the most evil cliff hangers ever, right up there with the end of the HBP, if you ask me, it does...feel right. I say this begrudgingly as a writer, knowing that your characters sometimes will not do what you want them to. This most likely would be Hermione's mind set as you have created her. However, as a reader, I would gladly hack into your computer, after hexing you as creatively as possible, to try and find the next chapter. In which, I can only hope unresolved tensions are...resolved. Until next time...PearleWhile AFF and its agents attempt to remove all illegal works from the site as quickly and thoroughly as possible, there is always the possibility that some submissions may be overlooked or dismissed in error. The AFF system includes a rigorous and complex abuse control system in order to prevent improper use of the AFF service, and we hope that its deployment indicates a good-faith effort to eliminate any illegal material on the site in a fair and unbiased manner. This abuse control system is run in accordance with the strict guidelines specified above.
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