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Reviews for A Gryffindor and A Slytherin

By : Ashley579
  • From ANON - Kat on December 11, 2004
    OK, first of all, let me say the story-line's an interesting one, and if developed properly, can be a really good story.

    *However* what is stopping this from being a good story is your writing. Your style is a bit stiff and your grammar and spelling need a lot of work. Your verbal tenses don't agree - that is, you use both present and past tense in the same sentence, even, and that throws things off so much that it's hard to stay with the story. You need to make sure you're using the right words - for example, in one sentence, you used "your" when it should have been "you're".

    Hopefully you can get a good beta to help you with your writing. If you need one, you can email me.
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  • From ANON - pinky on December 11, 2004
    Yay, i'm glad we got more of this. I think it's really good. I like how you explained how they became friends. I can't wait for them to become more now. Great job.
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  • From ANON - me on December 11, 2004
    i liked it! woot keeep writing!
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  • From ANON - fiesty30 on December 11, 2004
    I love the chapter after reading through it carefully especially Hermione's perceptions of Draco when catching him off guard. You really haven't taken any liberties with his character and that is sometimes hard to avoid with d/hr fics. So kudos to you on a job well done and I will anxiously be awaiting your next chapter.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 05, 2004
    Interesting plot twist. Curious to see where it goes.

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  • From ANON - pinky on December 03, 2004
    I am so glad you updated this. I am enjoying it immensly. I absolutely adore you're Draco and Severus. More soon please.
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  • From ANON - fiesty302004 on December 03, 2004
    you know I loved it but I had to write it here for the whole world to read......please do work furiously on the next chapter.....
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  • From ANON - Savannah on December 02, 2004
    OOOOHHHHH YOU EVIL.............

    That was ok but you had better put up the next chappy
    SOON!
    ......

    I realllllllyyyyyyyy wanta see what happens. plz e-mail me
    when the new chap is posted.
    ......

    inuyasha_zealot16@yahoo.com

    Love SAVANNAH
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  • From ANON - Dracolov and mr big bad on December 02, 2004
    Nice like what you got, needs some more plot but still good. You are going to have to email me when you update. I am not a maber of adultfan.net or what not. so let me know when you post next.
    Dracolov

    Mr. big bad
    It was nice, kind of long winded, but thats ok.

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  • From on November 28, 2004
    Hey it Amanda. This story is getting dense. I hope Draco can protect Hermione.
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  • From ANON - fiesty30 on November 27, 2004
    by the way if you need a beta, I would be happy to help...email me if want to...
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  • From ANON - fiesty30 on November 27, 2004
    I'm liking the story but I don't know if I buy the Draco changing so quickly. I hope that at some point you give a little more background as to when his feelings for her changed and how. But other than that I think it's a good start and I'm anxious to read more...could you email me when you update since it's time consuming to check daily on the boards???? Thanks if your able to do so.
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  • From ANON - eve/roarke on November 27, 2004
    Its a quite good start, however, there are some flaws;

    Lucius has threatened Hermoine with kidnap, also he attacked her parents house, surely Severus should have arrested him, put him in a body bind and waited for the Ministry, who are searching for him?

    But I am a sucker for Hermione/Draco so hopefully there will be reasons Severus did not.

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  • From ANON - Hanna Delacour on November 27, 2004
    It's going good... the closeness between Draco and Hermione is a little hard to understand. Perhaps it could be explained some in future chapters. Also you need to reread a few parts as there are a few places I think you got excited about writing and typed the wrong word. But other than that, no glaring mistakes. I love the plot... Keep up the good work!
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  • From ANON - Anon on November 26, 2004
    i really like it

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