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Reviews for Temporary

By : sabreenthequeen
  • From ANON - cc on June 04, 2005
    ohh more more
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  • From ANON - mackey on May 24, 2005
    wicked twist - very impressive. please continue!

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  • From ANON - sailormoonhannah on May 18, 2005
    update now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - dragon34 on May 13, 2005
    Oh please tell me that wasn't his idea ! Poor Harry, I never thought him and Ginny should ever be together anyway.
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  • From on May 11, 2005
    wait is this the end...
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  • From ANON - lazy on May 10, 2005
    yay!
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  • From on May 10, 2005
    I really hope that Draco has come to his sences, I think their relationship needs to be more then just sex. I'm sure he is no angel, so he just needs to get over the dare.
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  • From zentiis on May 09, 2005
    lovely! delicious but thought provoking at the same time, i like your little 'comments' at the end of the chapters, they always sum up the chapters very nicely.
    Great work, i look forward to your next update ^_^
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  • From ANON - rani on May 08, 2005
    wow this story was really sweet, and sexy. haha. i
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  • From ANON - Keri on May 02, 2005
    ur story really isn't that good. there is very little character development. it is too OOC and all the characters annoy the hell out of me.
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  • From ANON - Anon on May 02, 2005
    A bit fluffy but still a good read. I actually have become sort of fond of your fluffyish Draco. Keep up the good work.
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  • From ANON - Theankh on May 02, 2005
    To be honest, everyone seems to be raving about 'Delightful Pain' and after reading all this plus comments I decided to check that out and although its not as bad, I don't see what all the fuss is about. You have an.... undeveloped writing style. I don't want to be nasty because no one wants a nasty review no matter what they say, but neither of these fics is amazing material to me. You have the potential to be a good writer but you're not very skilled at taking preformed characters such as Draco and Hermione and using them realistically. Of course they're never going to get together in the books, but I mean realistic as in we should be able to believe that they would say the things they say, and I'm just not geting that in your fics. Its better in DP but in this one I got the impression other people are getting - Hermione sounds like a stereotypical dumb blonde, Draco doesn't sound like Draco, and all the minor characters sound like lesser versions of the major characters.

    You have the potential to write something good, thats evident from some parts of DP. You're not using it though. You have to remember with HP that for these characters to be believeable and enjoyable they need to conform to their roles, unless you're using them for a one-off smut shot, which is forgiveable because a little smut is never a bad thing, and even then its good to stick to what you know about a character rather than try and make them into something they're not. But you're trying to write serious fics that involve serious issues around characters many people know and adore, and you're never going to get fantastic reviews from the people who actually know something about writing - they are the ones that post can critically and don't use the phrase 'OMG!!!' - if you don't respect how those characters have to be.

    As a final note - you said you'd explain why Hermione sounds like a dumb blonde valley girl. Either I missed it or you didn't - why is it? I can't see any logical reason myself.
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  • From ANON - gotta love anonymoty on April 12, 2005
    Your story is shit. Your writing style is shit. Grow up, you little valley girl idiot, and learn how to write.
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  • From ANON - My Life is My Hell on April 08, 2005
    update soon plz post another chapter continue this story please
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  • From ANON - dracos_frenchmaid on April 05, 2005
    Girl u are a talented person, i have read this story on mugglenet, on fanfiction and on here i cant get enough of it, it is seriously the best story every written, i reckon you should become a write....omg but its so sad at the moment, :( i dont like it when they break up, i've printed this out and every time. dont you listen to the flams u have (altho u probably dont have any) but dont listent to them hunny u rock. UPDATE SOON PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!! i want more draco and hermione love and sex to, cant forget the sex.
    (DONT READ THIS PART IF U DONT WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENS)
    1 tip when they do it on a broom MAKE IT REALLY DETAILED i would love it even more.

    PLEASE UPDATE!!!!!! ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS AT SKEWL LOVE YOU
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