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Reviews for Wild Hearts Can\'t be Broken

By : kat701
  • From demorie2003 on June 02, 2005
    I thought it was cute. There is one thing though that I would change; When changing from person to person when doing POV don't use a lot of frilly marks when . . . works just as well. You can use them of course, but it tends to detract from the story. Also, during the bathroom scene you switched points of view but you went back in the story. The scene should flow smoothly despite the changing POVs.

    I liked the characters, how you made them interact, and your use of dialogue to tell the story instead of putting dialogue tags on like so many people do to say 'she said darkly' etc. It's always better to show that she said it darkly etc rather than just saying it. Also be careful of using /. It can detract from the story as well. Overall a good job and I hope that you continue it.

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  • From ANON - Ariadne on May 24, 2005
    Not bad. There are very few Mauraders fics & very few about how James & Lily got together...

    Keep up the good work
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  • From on March 27, 2005
    Awesome beginning to a story, please continue with this! You seem to have a natural flow for it as well, i will be anticipating till your next chapter is posted.
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  • From ANON - Sam on March 26, 2005
    I was so disappointed when I saw that you haven't continued this past Chapter One, and to answer your question:

    YES!!! Oh, most definitely. I really was looking forward to reading more of it! Augh! Please continue!!!!
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