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Reviews for rape and love

By : synchi
  • From kirisilvren on June 27, 2007
    Hi. I think your story has a great plot, but some of the details were a little lacking. And may I introduce you to spell and grammar check. You're writing is pretty good, but half the battle of being a great writer is appearances. Capitols at the beginnings of sentences and proper names and that sort of thing. Please keep writing and I hope you don't think me rude.
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  • From ANON - Skipper on October 17, 2006
    Hello.
    I like your story, but; there are some spelling mistakes.
    While english is not my native language, I'm willing to go over some of them in more detail if you like, just send me a mail and the webadress of the story, otherwise I might have some trouble finding the story.
    One mistake I just have to point out is the name of Malfoy Sr.
    The correct way to spell it is Lucius, I'm not pointing it out to be mean, but because it might make the story even better, if the spelling is correct.

    With Regards
    Skipper.
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  • From ANON - Noemi on September 23, 2005
    OMG! Please update soon!
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  • From ANON - lena on September 01, 2005
    i like the idea but i think you need a beta reader or you need to run over your grammar and spelling. considering the story is set in england you shouldn't write dollars you should write pounds. if you just run over the basic things like wizardery (wizardry) and patunia (petunia) you'll be fine.
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  • From ANON - Serenity on July 31, 2005
    upate i wanna see what happens next
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  • From ANON - Joana on July 21, 2005
    And you know what? you shouldn't stop once you begin so, on with the next chappie!
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  • From ANON - Melissa on July 13, 2005
    You need a beta.
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  • From ANON - yana on March 26, 2005
    I like it!!!!!!!!
    more please
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  • From ANON - Hateful and Blue on February 19, 2005
    I justread your authors note at the end... HOLY CRAP! This is the first you've ever written!? Wow! I thought you'd been into it for a while now... again, I like your ideas. I could Beta if you want, it's up to you though... hm... what did you think of Book Five?

    Later days,

    Hateful and Blue.
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  • From ANON - Hateful and Blue on February 19, 2005
    Hmm... interesting, it's a good beginning, but you need a Beta to check spelling, shorthand doesn't quite work, and- Ah, I'm sorry, I won't pick it apart, but do get a Beta, a friend, or random Author on the network to go over it and fix spelling, "u" should be "you" and "i" should be "I", that sort of stuff, the plot is beginning to be good. You should consider expanding on the letter from Albus, like say "Dear Mr. Potter, I acknowledge that you feel cramped in the Dursley household, and you might feel desperate to get away, but please refrain from using lies to try to persuade a change of address. Rape is a serious issue, and it's horrors should not be underminded..." or something. Expansion. This is not a flame, intentionally. Good plot and ideas overall. Aside from the spelling... EEEEEEEEE! Finally! Something that isn't "Harry walks around Hogwarts and is taken advantage of by a random Slytherin/Voldemort disgused as a random Slytherin"!!!! Wee! Something evilly cruel that seems a bit more real... Harry can get help at Hogwarts, but at the Dursleys, without his wand, he's nothing... that's a new, refershing origional idea! Hm... at least it wasn't Dudley that did it... *shudder*
    Keep updating ne?

    Later days,

    Hateful and Blue.
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  • From ANON - LoveMeFearMe. on February 17, 2005
    My dear I am not trying to be mean, it is only that you should not use 'u' instead of writing out the word, 'you'. I have problems with my spelling as well, I have found that having a friend look it over works wonders or even running it through a spell checker. Do try again with this, I am sure you can get it to work for you. But for right now, it needs a bit of work.
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  • From ANON - jen on February 16, 2005
    sounds like its gonna be a great story, cant wait for more!
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  • From ANON - Arwen Rayne on February 15, 2005
    I am not sure if you story has any merit yet but I would advise you to get a beta fast! Your spelling is quite atrocious and the actual grammar is rather weak. You seem to be rushing the plot to get to the gore when you could be spending some time developing a plot. Everyone agrees that Dumbledore is a manipulative old pest but he is never less than kind and concerned.
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  • From ANON - Aly on February 13, 2005
    Ok, you mentioned that this is your first fic, so please don't take this wrong, but you need to get a beta. They are pretty easy to find. But they would help you out alot! There are quite a few spelling mistakes that could easily be fixed to make your story so much easier to read. Also, in a story... type out "you" instead of just putting a "U". It makes it look alot more professional.

    Alright, now that, the suggestions are done, I will say that you've got a nice start to a plot. Just make sure as you keep writing that you explain why Ron and Hermoine no longer have time for their best friend and why Dumbledore wouldn't even check up on him. I'll be interested to see how you write the rest of this story. :)
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