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Reviews for Second chance; Second life

By : MazzaMann
  • From ANON - JJ on April 25, 2005
    Very interesting. Quite dark, but captivating anyway. There was a lot of action in this chapter. I'm also dissappointed that the crew was defeated so easily. It makes sense considering they are kids against grown-ups, but still . . . I look forward to updates.
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  • From lckarlsson on April 22, 2005
    Darn! That was quite a cliffhanger!

    Is Lucius going to harm her?? I hope Draco/someone else comes to save her!

    Good thing Snape stood up to him!

    I'm anxiously waiting for your next chapter.

    Love Leonora.
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  • From lckarlsson on April 15, 2005
    This was such a sweet chapter! I loved that he actually apologized to the girl! Good job.
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  • From lckarlsson on April 14, 2005
    Another great chapter! I like that you have Draco questioning himself and his motives like this - thumbs up to Flora.

    Keep up the good work :o)

    Love Leonora.
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  • From ANON - john the heavy on April 13, 2005
    was up with the low count of reviews? this fic is great! i love the way draco has to be true to himself rather then follow his fathers footsteps. good work!
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  • From lckarlsson on April 10, 2005
    Wow! That was a great chapter, mazza_man!

    I love how you have Draco torn between his old self and his new. And I especially loved the way Kay acted towards him - I'm sure she really got to him with that.

    Even though I don't think that canon Harry would act like this towards Draco - whom he loathes - I like what it's doing to Draco... it's putting him in a dilemma that Harry is actually being nice towards him.

    Keep up the great work!

    Love Leonora.
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  • From lckarlsson on April 09, 2005
    Good to see you back!

    Nice to see Draco being torn between his old fa
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  • From lckarlsson on March 28, 2005
    Hey there!

    I'm back again, and I did have a nice vacation. How great to be returning to three new chapters.

    I love the way the story is going, and I like the little twist of Severus' and Lucius' relationship, but I have a few questions/notes for you:

    I'm not sure how Kay found out that Draco once got turned into at ferret - it's a bit too much of a coincidence if she doesn't know, and calls him Ferretboy - maybe she is able to read minds? Maybe that's what happens when she looks into Harry's eyes?

    I think that Draco turns a bit too sweet, too soon - I like the whole idea of him changing for the better, but it's like it happens too easily. And I don't think he would just let Kay tease him and call him "Ferretboy", in front of his classmates and the golden trio... I think that the "Ferretboy"-name really strikes a nerve, since it was quite an embarasing event for him to be turned into a Ferret as a punishment for bothering Harry. I think an argument/powerstruggle between Draco and Kay would have been appropriate... I think that if he allowed her to call him Ferretboy, it would only be while they were alone.

    But like I said - I really like the idea of Draco changing for the better, and besides the teasing and name-calling, I really like where your story is going. I think Harry's interest in Kay/her interest in him is very intreaguing, and I'm looking forward to see where you're going with that.

    Another two notes for you:

    I don't think that Dumbledore would just mention the Order like that when everyone is around - I think he would definitely wait until they were in private.

    If Lucius knew that Severus was a spy, I'm sure he would have told Voldemort about it long ago - however strong his feelings might be (?) for the Severus, Lucius serves Voldemort with all of his heart - and besides: All of the work he does for Voldemort and all of the risks he takes for him would be pointless if he knew about a spy and didn't tell about it. You could still have the Lucius/Severus relationship, and you could still have Severus tell him that he made his choice years ago - just without mentioning him choosing sides, because I seriously don't think Lucius knows about that - he thinks that Severus still serves Voldemort.

    Well - hope you don't mind me pointing out these things to you. All in all I really like your story, and I hope you keep up the good work.

    Love Leonora.
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  • From lckarlsson on March 22, 2005
    Hey!

    I like the way your story is progressing.

    So she's calling him 'little ferret' as well? Glad he took it so well.

    I'm very curious about what's going to happen at Hogwarts, since he has built up this fa
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  • From lckarlsson on March 21, 2005
    Your story is great, so don't worry about it!

    So they're going back to Hogwarts? That should be interesting!

    Again **sorry I keep ranting about your story codes** but when you use the M/M code, people will expect a male-male pairing/relationship. I don't know if you have this in mind, but if you don't, some of the readers you attract with this code might be disappointed. I don't think the rape goes under this catagory, that's inc (incest) and not a real pairing. And since you don't go into a further discribtion of it - I don't know if you should use this code... maybe it should be "non-graphic inc" or "inc mentioned" or something like that.

    Otherwise, I like the changes you made to your summary. And I'm looking forward to reading more of your story. Keep up the good work!

    Love Leonora.


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  • From lckarlsson on March 20, 2005
    Hey there Mazza_mann!

    I did take a look at your story, and I'm so glad I did! I absolutely love it! It's such a sweet story - it kind of makes you wish you could live like that :o) I really really love Mikayla!

    There are some typos here and there, and it doesn't bother me, but I know some people gets bothered by it, so I just wanted to let you know. Maybe at some point you should consider getting a beta-reader. I have one, and I'm very happy about that.

    A good advice for you is to space out the text a bit more, making it easier to read.

    If you hadn't suggested that I read your story, I would have never read it. I don't think your summary explains what kind of story this is very well, and I think that the people who would love your story the most, will be scared off by the summary.

    When your only story code is "tort", people will think that this fic is mainly about torture. Of course, I don't know what you have in mind for the future, but I don't think it's torture? If the only torture in your fic is the that in the beginning of the story, I think you could change it to "slight tort". I also think that you should in some way explain in your summory that there is a girl involved in this story and she is the one to offer Draco a chance of escaping from his father.

    Furthermore, as for the story codes, I think you should add H/C (hurt and comfort), and in case you have a Mikayla/Draco pairing in mind, you could add M/F as well, to attract the right kind of people.

    That was my advice for you!

    You have a really lovely story going here, and I'll definitely be following it!

    I'll be looking forward to you next chapter.

    Love Leonora.
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