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Reviews for Signs

By : Hattie
  • From ANON - Danine on March 29, 2005
    Ah, you are correct about the spacing, that's where I got confused.

    Anyways, try this link to learn about Mary Sue:

    http://www.ottawa.net/aldowdall/ld/marysue.html

    It pretty much explains who she is and why they are generally not liked much. Not everyone hates a Mary Sue story, but you'll find that most readers of a certain type of fan fiction, like Harry Potter, want to read about the characters they've already come to know and love. When you make the character perfect in practically every way, they'll scream "Mary Sue!" at you until your ears bleed.

    There's a lot of characters in the HP universe who aren't talked about much, like Lavender, Parvati, Pansy, Hannah, and so forth; it might be a better idea to try and use one of them as your main character if you don't want to work with Hermione or Luna, etc. That way, she's at least someone readers will recognise and since they aren't written about much, you can't screw up their cannon-ness very badly. And I'm not suggesting you change this fic, I'm just saying in the future if you choose to write something else without main female characters.

    I hope this helps again, I'm glad I didn't upset you. Happy writing!!


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  • From ANON - Hattie on March 29, 2005
    Thanks for your honest review! You havn't upset me. Btw what IS a Mary Sue??? I'm glad you wrote actual things that I can improve on unlike Anon who just wrote something I can't understand. It's just a random drabble. I feel a bit stupid now. Anyway where does it say the draco pov confused thing. I looked through it and there is a bit where I didn't put a space between some writing and a Pov which i can see can be a bit confusing but you can still read it but apart from that I can't see anything. Thanks.
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  • From ANON - Danine on March 29, 2005
    This IS a Mary Sue, which is fine with me. I'm slightly confused about the POV's in the middle. You have "Draco's POV" then several long paragraphs, some actually in his POV but it changes in parts, then it says "Draco's POV" again. The paragraphs are very large and hard to keep focus on, as well.

    Also, is this a PWP? I'm not sure I know what is going on here; is Draco stalking the Mary Sue? Who is she? When describing her, you might want to think about being a bit less descriptive about her appearance (Her toned, taut, tanned stomach) and possibly fill it in with what the reader needs to know instead. It gives off the impression of a Mary Sue, like you're describing yourself or what you'd want to be, making it feel like we're reading your diary.

    Try using a beta. There's a section where you can find one, there's also a few yahoo groups dedicated to helping you find someone to proofread your work. Good luck to you, hope I haven't upset you, because that's not my intention. Just a bit of advice to help you improve on your skills.
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  • From Hattie on March 29, 2005
    Ew another person who thinks swearing is cool and has to call themselves Anon becasue they don't have the guts to say who they are. And didn't even give a proper rview. BTW Thanx Caff!
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  • From ANON - Anon on March 28, 2005
    Ew another Mary Sue story.
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  • From ANON - Caff on March 28, 2005
    I like it. Love how you have all the point of veiws. Keep it up, its going so well.
    From, Caff

    P.S. I also love the story because the main character is Alex and so is mine! Also that I'm a Draco fan! LoL!
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