Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for White Roses

By : Bloodsrose

From ANON - Tygerlily on April 11, 2005
People are upset because this story deals with a real issue, and this really happens...

...And I put two of their favorite characters in this situation...

I make no apologies for it, its far from disgusting... its just too much of reality in a fantasy world.

And just because I wrote a story like this... doesn't mean I "hate" the characters.

I don't write about characters that I don't like...

And if you're reading the reviews before reading the fiction, you've been forewarned about this fiction. Let alone the warning inside. You can say you don't like it till the cows come home. And you can say that they're so out of character and they would never do this... but this story will remain posted here. I won't be taking it down.

Its good and its truthful and more mature authors and readers have emailed me and said so... and I agree with them...

So again don't like it... I suggest getting a more original reason than they're out of character and this would never happen...
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From ANON - Lisel on April 11, 2005
Actuallyou're being flamed because while we have all read stories with a cheating Ss or a cheating HG, I can't think of any where Severus actaully screwed the women right in the same bed he shared with HG. And it's not one slip where he's sorry, but many times and he's enjoying the sex with these women. And HG stays with him despite it all, And since you seem to have her 6th year she's all of what 16> 17?

Did I mention you have Severus cheating in his own bed that's shared with HG?

This is beyond co-dependency and weak willed women.

This is a disgustingly corrupt bastard and a woman who's letting herself be treated like a piece of slime.

Neither SS or HG are remotely like their characters in the books.

The saddest thing is that you just don't seem to get it. You're having SS doing it in the same bed that HG sleeps in. Gods did he even change the seats.

This story is actually disgusting and people are picking up on that. All I can say is that I hope you stay out of the SS.HG world. And yeah-it does seem like you hate the characters,

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From ANON - Tygerlily on April 11, 2005
Response to latests reviews...

The running theme I've noticed is that everyone is so upset that Severus is a bastard and Hermione is weak. I've read stories [that have recieved GREAT reviews] where Severus is still a cheating bastard and Hermione STILL finds out. All that happens differently is that he goes and kills himself when she leaves him. In others once she finds out that he kills himself she realizes what a mistake leaving was, she then goes and kills herself. And yet those people were applauded for their beatifully written angsty filled almost Romeo and Juliet like quality fictions.

However here because I kept these two in an abusive relationship. And brought the usually strong Hermione down to being a weak woman who has developed a co-dependancy on another person, and having Severus not always be the dashing hero I am being flamed beyond compare. There was also a comment about how there was no magick mentioned... take a step back and think about how many one shots involving these two characters are ALWAYS heavily laid in magick... its not always so.

This story was just meant to be about two characters that I [YES] do like and enjoy very much. You are reading only ONE fiction I've written about them. I've only posted one other and it is nothing like this... have you read that one? I'm guessing probably not. Also PLEASE STOP attacking my character. You do not know who I am, what I like, how old I am... etc.

Dont' ASSume that I'm a very young girl, Don't ASSume that I'm in High School, and again Don't ASSume that I prefer Hermione with Ron or Harry or even Draco. You don't know if any of that is true about me and its not really any of your business anyway what pairings I like and don't like, how old I am or not... I wrote a story that delt with VERY sensitive issues.

And YES people this DOES happen. Women stay in relationships like this ALL the time. Most/All of you are outraged... GREAT! then you won't let yourself be used and abused by a man if he ever did this to you [if won't hasn't already] In my story I'm having it happen to Hermione, I'm having Snape be the possessive bastard he has the potential to be.

So again if you don't like the STORY fine! But don't assume to know me...
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From ANON - Gayle on April 11, 2005
Constructive Criticism-Hermione and Severus are completely OCC based on everything that's canon so far. The books are right now in HG's fifth year, you're setting this story in her sixth year at least at the beginning. I can't see the Hermione of "now" that's brave and self-relient becoming the poor, sick, abused woman you have written her here. We're talking about just one more year.

Severus is OCC as much as HG. There's nothing in canon that portrays him as being stupid or for that matter the type of man that easily gets women to come to Hogwarts to screw him. Although we don't know much about him, we know that it appears Albus trusts him. Albus also appears to know what's going on around his school. In this story you apparently have an Albus that overlooks the fact that one of his Head of Houses is bringing in a fair amount of whores. We also have an Albus that is apparently condoing a relationship between a very young HG, and a Head of House. Unrealistic as well as immoral.

You're also skirting with age. If this started in HG's sixth year, we have Severus sleeping with a 16 or 17 year old. And again-he's a Head of House and a Professor.

In addition to all of that, you have what appears to be two mentally ill people-again the books certainly never implied that HG or SS were mentally ill. And to behave the way they do in this story both would almost have to be. And it's not set far enough in the future that something as drastic as two intelligent people becoming pretty unbalanced would be at all feasable or realistic.

The roses were meant to signify how HG felt special but it just makes her look more pathetic than ever. If your lover is having sex in your bed with other women, the fact that he brings you roses and not the other women is certainly not a sign that he loves you.

All in all, this story has pretty OK spelling and grammer, but there's not even a toehold of realism (and yes, even stories set in the HP world usually have some degree of realism), not to mention a total rewrite of the two main characters in this story.

I do wonder what could possibly have made you write something like this. Based on what I have read in your other stories, this story doesn't even seem like something you'd have written. And note-I have enjoyed other stories you've written. This story is just not good for reasons I've listed above.

Also note if 1 or 2 people flame, well you can't please everyone. If the bulk of reviews are negative, something is off-key with the story even if it's just the author sees things in a different way.

If almost every review is a flame or negative, you can bet that you're completely missing the beat with a story. Almost your entire review board is negative (even when a review first appears positive I've noticed comments are added that either berate or insult the story). Your other stories have pretty much positive reviews so it's not your writing, it's this story. It just completely misses the boat.

And I'd never insult you as a person. I'm talking completely about your story here.
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From ANON - Fran on April 10, 2005
Well, I'm going to assume you're a teenager or very young woman. I have noticed that yonger woman tend to like angsty stories. I guess there's no need to tell you that this story is totally unrealistic and OCC. Unless, perhaps HG gets the Dementor's kiss and loses her mind and self-respect along with her soul.

As far as Severus-why the hell would Albus keep a totally crappy, sick loser who brings whores into the school. The way you've written this Severus he doesn't need to be anywhere near young girls.

This story was so unrealistic and OCC that it's hard to take it serioulsy. I think you should think about not writing anymore SS/HG stories. Or perhaps I'm wrong and you're really a HG/RW shipper that wants to make a HG/SS story as OCC and creepy as possible.
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From ANON - Carol on April 10, 2005
Severus has sex with other woman in the bed he shares with Hermione but, she stays with him because he only gives her roses and not the other women. Is this some type of sick joke? Who are these characters, they damned sure aren't Hermione and Severus. Not to mention you said it's only Hermione's 6th. year, so Severus is a child molester as well as a creep. Longbottom would not be as weak and pathetic as Hermione is in this story.
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From ANON - Brenda on April 10, 2005
You said it all-these characters are really OCC. I am shocked and disgusted by how pitiful and stupid you made Hermione and what an ass you made Severus. And I won't say anything about you as a person-but as far as your story-it's the silliest piece of garbage I have ever read on this site or any other.
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From ANON - Lu Ling Qi on April 10, 2005
While appaled at your relationship and making hermione so weak and pathetic. I ask are you goiing to follow it up with anything!
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From ANON - Clara G. Mays on April 10, 2005
I would never say anything about you as a person (I don't know you) however I won't say I was shocked or disgusted by this story. Very disappointed is more like it.

And as for the OCC part, you have already said they were OCC (very very) so no need to go over that.

I think that what bothers me the most about this story is that it's really not about magic or a Witch and a Wizard or anything of that nature. It's more of a bad soap opera with the leading woman Hermione, being a dispirited, sad doormat well, not even a door mat-more like toilet paper for Severus, and Severus being pretty much a nasty, abusive fuck. Not exactly the type fanfic one enjoys reading, not to mention from this story it does appear that you are anti-SS/HG (your biz).

Disrespecting HG to the ulimate is bad enough, but he's also completely disrespecting his profession, and AD. We all usually write somewhat based on our experiences, so I hope that this is not reflecting something you're going through with a man. If so-get out this second. And I'm not trying to be cute or funny or sarcastic-I'm sincere on that.

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From ANON - GoldLady on April 10, 2005
Damn you really meant out of character. I don't understand how you could write such cool, great Buffy and Angel stories, another SS/HG that seems cool-and this.

I have never seen Severus so shitty, and Hermione so wimpy.
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From ANON - Mandy on April 10, 2005
I'd hate to see HG turn out to be a woman like this. My God, she'd be better off facing Voldermort. A very disturbing fic but, I suppose that's what you intended. And I have to agree with a previous reviewer that I would consider Hermione to be not just disturbed and a co-dependent, but mentally ill.

I guess I really didn't like this.
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From on April 10, 2005
Awe, that was so sad. But written beautifully. You almost had me crying. :'(

Wounderful. Sad, but wounderful. :)
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From on April 10, 2005
*sighs and signs in* Well, hell. There's all sorts of drama in the HG/SS fandom world, isn't there? I just love getting pulled into stuff that's not even my fandom. :p

I just want to say for all the review-readers to see that there's a way to be polite when reviewing a fic that you don't like/agree with. There's no need to be angry and snippy about a work of *fanfiction*.

There are women who seem strong and successful that stay with a cheating/abusive significant other. With that in mind, it's out of character for real people to do it. And I just read Scattered Logic's review and he/she is completely correct - about the unknown events in the final two books as well as the damaged psyche point. Although, I'd go a step further and call it a level of mental illness.

Anyway, I've said this before and I'll say it again. You're an extremely talented author. You suck at humor, so stay with angst and smut. :p
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From ANON - Kathy on April 10, 2005
Tigerlily, it's because of the fact that you are a good writer that makes this story so upsetting. People are so upset because the thought of SS doing that and HG taking it, written in such a vivad way, brings emotional pain. It did to me.

My Mom was there at one time and the grief is horrific. To actually catch your love in your own bed with another is too horrible for words.

I am begging you, please please make this right. Please do a sequel where HG does it back to SS, or please make this a nightmare.

I'm not asking you to change because the story is bad-it's great and has cause me and others I'm sure emotional pain. I beg you again (and yes I know it's fiction), but please, please make it OK. I think you know what I mean.

And again, I'm not at all downing your story in the least, but as an emotionally fragile woman I am asking for a favor.
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From ANON - Scattered Logic on April 10, 2005
This is an interesting character study, and it's well written. Canon Severus Snape could very well be this dysfunctional. Contrary to what some people seem to believe, canon Snape is not the dashing, romantic leading man of fanon. I suspect that canon Snape would be as possessive and conflicted as the one depicted here. People with damaged psyches, who secretly believe themselves unworthy of love, do take irrational actions that push others away, and are seemingly unable to stop themselves. I could see Hermione becoming a co-dependent personality. It's very possible that her basic loyalty and her faith in her ability to 'make things better' could eclipse her better judgement. As for being in character or not, this is set in the future and we don't know what effect the events of the remaining two books will have on either Hermione or Snape. I would like to think that Hermione would grow to be stronger than to allow herself to remain in a vicious cycle of abuse and despair. However, I will not claim that it's impossible for her to do so - people that we "think" we know end up surprising us everyday in our real lives, why not in fiction?
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