Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for White Roses

By : Bloodsrose

From ANON - Kimberly H. on April 10, 2005
Not to jump into the fray here but-I just hate the way these characters are written. And you are entitled to your view of them and you shouild leave it up of course.

I do hope HG gets some type of revenge.

Look, I am trying here because I respect every writer, but this story was just way too OCC for me. And yes the entire relationship would never happen in canon. I just wish that since you are a good writer, that you would have "respected" the characters more.

SS bringing whores to bed is just so far out, and Hermione accepting it and staying is even more so.
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From ANON - Denise on April 10, 2005
Stacie-Gawd you didn't see the slang? Aw omiguh I thought you did.

You can have the last word-it's been a slow day for me too but I'm bored now. Maybe I'll go see if my guy is bring whores home to sleep in our bed. Well no need for me to worry. I'm the only one that he brings chocolate bars too. So he loves me.

omiguh, I really sound stupid. Chocolate bars aren't enough. I wany a rose like Hermione.

And the story still stinks. Oops not proper language!!!! And probably a typo too.

Really Bored Now Bye
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From Bloodsrose on April 10, 2005
Excuse me I don't need anyone to fight my battles for me. I didn't ask or request one of my friends to step in and defend me. She did so on her own.
I also never said that I don't like criticism, I said I felt there was no need for non-constructive criticism. Again if you would take the time to truly read
my response you would've seen that I have yet to delete ANY reviews. But yes I would delete reviews that bash the way I write a certain character without
any reason behind except you don't like my interpetation of them. I would also delete reviews bashing me as a person because none of you know me, so
don't assume that you do.

Again you're saying that SS and HG are out of character... how do any of us really know what is or isn't in character except for JKR. They're her creations, not
ours. We just borrow them for pure entertainment. So if I see SS and HG together this way in some dark future... why not? Because its not your vision? Because
you don't see them that way? Well thats all fine and good but don't tell me that the way I see them is wrong. I just see them differently [in this one story]

And again you attacking my character and saying that I should get all my friends to leave me glowing reviews... very childish and immature. I thank Stacie
for her defense of me but I didn't ask for it. And I never will. I know that I'm a good author in my own right. And just because people don't like the way I'm
writing a character that doesn't even belong to them isn't going to stop me from doing so.

I won't be taking this story down, I know that HG and SS are OCC but I wrote them that way and I will leave them as is...
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From ANON - Trixie on April 10, 2005
Snape is a pitiful bastard and a piece of crap. Hermione is a crying asshole-doormat.

You must really love the whole HG/SS thing. Well actually, probably not.

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From ANON - Stacie on April 10, 2005
Slang? :S

Stocie@gmail.com - email me and tell me what it is. Because, I'm all lost.
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From ANON - Stacie on April 10, 2005
She's a bitch all on her own. I just like to help. :p *rolls eyes* It's a slow day, 'kay?

And omiguh! Like, when we go, like, to the prom and stuff, are you, like, gonna go too? Cuz that would, like, be super fun! :D

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From ANON - Katie on April 10, 2005
Why all the fighting. This story stinks. Grammer and spelling alone do not make a good story. And I happen to like a lot of your other stories-just not this one. Big deal.

Stacie, dear-don't use slang if you're making fun of other peoples typo's.

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From ANON - Denise on April 10, 2005
Boy, you have to get your friends to step in for you??? If you don't like criticism-just don't post any stories. And you delete negative reviews? Take a look at some of the best authors on this site. Lots of times people don't like the stories these authors have written. But, they stand up for themselves, leave all reviews on, and don't need other people to "yell" at people on their behalf.

The bottom line is that SS and HG are totally out of character here despite what your friend says. SS in his position at a School, is sneaking in whores to screw in his own bed. Give me a break. Forget the dynamics between him and HG. That right there is ridiculous.

In any case, why don't you have all your friends come and give you nice glowing reviews. No mean people daring to state their opinions about your story.

Oh and by the way- I do hope that you and your friend Stacie have really good time at your high school prom. Hopefully, both of you will be able to face flames when you grow up a bit. LOL
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From ANON - Stacie on April 10, 2005
Damn it, I didn't notice this before.

Kyota Lee? Did you know that you said "I really hope that you or anyone else sees this as a romance or love." in your review?

Aw, sadly you probably aren't going to see this. :(
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From ANON - Marie on April 10, 2005
Wow. You do seem a bit angry. I guess you're going to delete my review because to be honest, I just didn't like the story. And I have to say that yes, your grammer and writing are fine.

I suppose that it's not the idea of suspending disbelief. Because you're right about that too-anyone reading a Harry Potter story does have to suspend belief.

It's just that this story is so far beyond the way most people see these characters that this story was beyond depressing to read. (I do think you should have also put a SS/Other warning so that fans of HG/SS are warned when they read it. I did feel a bit tricked.

In the stories I always got the feeling that despite his past, Snape was honorable in his way and certainly not stupid. In this story is being as deliberately abuse as possible. Cheating on Hermione is bad enough, but the fact that he brings them into the bed he shares with Hermione is beyond being cruel (not to mention stupid). I understand that you were trying to show SS's fears of losing HG and his pushing her away in the most horrible way possible, it's just that it's so dishonorable and nasty the way he's doing it, that I have no sympathy at all for him. None.

And Hermione is even worst. I can't see any woman (or man) with even one ounce of Self-esteem or pride, allowing herself to be treated this way. He's bringing other women into the bed he shares with her. He's violating the home they share. Although Hermione is still young in the books, I do believe she has pride and intelligence. It doesn't show in this story.

The fact that she keeps coming back to him while knowing he's going to cheat in the same manner, is just horrible. I know it happens in real life but, I have seen some of the women that put up with this type behaviour. The lack of esteem and sadness that these women have is beyond belief. Living in the manner Hermione is-would eat away any joy that you had in life. She's letting him completely crush her spirit and do exactly what he wants and she keeps coming back. Seeing even a fictional character like this (especially one you like) is depressing as hell.

I suppose in a weird sort of way I do want to see a sequel, but I admit I'd like that sequel to be about HG finding a man other than SS to sleep with and Ss finding her in the act as she has found him many times apparently. Maybe than he would understand the pain, and perhaps they could start fresh.

I also understand (at least I believe I understand), that you were trying to show the things people did out of love or out of being obbessed. HG keeps coming back and tells herself that he only loves her which is why she can bear it. SS loves her but drives her away. I understand the concept, it's just that the fact he's sleeping with women in the bed he shares with Hermione is just too extreme (for me).

Funny enough, I believe that if SS wasn't cheating and just being mean-it would have been reviewed quite well. Because there would have been sympathy. I think in any story, you have to at least like one of the characters and in this story there's no one to like or feel sorry for. This is the most abusive Snape I've seen in this genre, and the HG with the least pride and self-esteem I've ever seen. The story while very well-written, does not evoke any sympathy or like for either character. It's depressing, but not depressing in a romantic or angsty way. It's just depressing.

I know you'll probably delete this and I certainly understand, but I will say I hope HG gets a chance to get revenge on SS by her sleeping with another man and him seeing, or what I would like better I confess, is this to be some type of horrible torture or nightmare that's not really real. Yes, I realize that it's not your aim and this was meant to be angst, but I would feel a lot better. This story really got me down, seeing SS and HG in this manner was uncomfortable. I guess I read fanfic for a good feeling, but this story just made me feel bad (and not bad in a "good" way).

All that being said-I do respect the fact that you can write your story any way you please.
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From ANON - Stacie on April 10, 2005
Okay, now I hafta step in and yell for my friend's benefit.

What is wrong with the first three people that reviewed? None of the HG/SS shippers can say something's out of character when they have no way of knowing how the characters would react if really put in that situation therefore, they have no right to dictate the way the characters should behave.

Also, "unrealistic?" Please. I hope they realize that since THE SHIP would NEVER HAPPEN IN CANON that the ship itself is unrealistic. Gawd.

If anyone that reads the fic/reviews sees this, then complain to Torey and me about it, because we read it and didn't see any problems with it. Damn, just enjoy it for the well-written fic it is.

Oh, and Lola? Sweetie? The typos in your review make you sound foolish.
Kyota Lee? Take a look at the other fics she writes. The only other HP-fandom one is Broken Enigma. Guess what. It's HG/SS. Since you didn't bother doing "research," I only have one thing to say to you: Shut it.
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From ANON - Susan on April 10, 2005
I have to admit, I read the reviews before I read this story(something I do not often do, unless the story has a particularly poor rating). I think that it was a good character study. Sort of a moment in time. It isn't the happy ending that we enjoy so often, but you never promised that. I would not even go so far as to say bittersweet. That said, we also do not know how Hermione will be when she grows up, nor do we know that much about Serverus. It is all possible. And a part of me thinks, as an original story, these two souls could be anybody. Well written and not sappy at all. Thanks for something a bit different and well written.
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From Bloodsrose on April 10, 2005
Author Response ---

After reading the first three reviews perhaps I wasn't very clear with my warnings. This fiction is particularly dark. It is a one-shot so there isn't too much backstory besides the story itself. The characters [to some/most] may appear to be out of character. I ask that you enter a suspension of disbelief when reading this, I don't think this is too much to ask because you are reading the "Harry Potter Genre" which has a believe that magic, wizards and witches are real. Now I WILL say that I have LEFT the first three scathing and rather unconstructive reviews because they do not bash my style nor my grammar. They've just seen fit to leave flames because they don't like the way I've written their favorite characters... well I say too damn bad, my story, my vision... go with it or not. But any other reviews left after the first three that just bitch to me about how I'm writing them ooc WILL be deleted with no apologies.

Tygerlily
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From ANON - Kyota Lee on April 10, 2005
So Severus brings women and fucks them in the bed he shares with Hermione! And she stays! What universe is this! He's not only screwing other women-but in the bed he SHARES with Hermione!

Let's see Hermione has no self-respect or pride. And Snape is a stupid shit.

Not exactly the way I picture them-I imagine you're one of those anti Snape/Hermione people and are writing them to be as ridiculous, callous and stupid as possible.

Some of us actually enjoy the Snape/Hermione relationship. Please don't pollute like this again.

And if you really think that Hermione was doing the right thing and this is somehow romantic (right he fucks other women in Hermione's bed, but oh right he gives her a rose because he really loves her-Jeez)-hold off on any relationships for a long long time and seriously consider getting self-esttem help if you see this as romantic or loving.

I prefer to think that you're just a Hermione/Snape hater. I really hope that you or anyone else sees this as a romance or love.
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From ANON - Moe on April 10, 2005
I can only hope Hermione is having some type of horrible nightmare. This has got to be the most unrealistic Severus/Hermione story I have ever read.
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