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Reviews for The Quiet Ones

By : paigej78
  • From ANON - Ava Rosier on October 30, 2005
    I'm liking the story thus far. You could prolong the sex with Mike, as the previous reviewer suggested, and allow the readers to become more attached to him. Or you could just get to the sex. But it would be great if you planned to continue the story for a while at Hogwarts- Hermione becoming attracted to/seducing/being seduced by some male student of your choosing. Happy writing!
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 30, 2005
    you werent kidding when you said that you didnt know where to go...lol.... One of my personal problems with OFC (mike in this story) is that you dont automatically care about them, or know their back history like say a Draco, and that makes them harder for us as the reader, to understand why little virgin bookworm hermione would suddenly decided to gift him with her virginity. So PWPs are harder with someone we dont "know"

    Now I like your writing style, it shows maturity and that you know how to engage the reader and know good sentence structure. If this were me writing this story, I would slow them down a bit, no sex at first, and show (other than he is cute) why Hermione is so mesmerized by him. I know people write Hermione like a sudden slut , sometimes, but it just never makes sense to me. there you go, my quick 2 cents, for what they are worth.
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 24, 2005
    have em screw in the pool and on the grass
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  • From ANON - Avanell on April 23, 2005
    more!!! that was very cool...er, hot! Want to see more of Mike, and then what happens when Hermione goes back to school (whether he somehow pops up again or not).
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  • From ANON - tabitoo on April 23, 2005
    It's all good. Please post more.
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  • From ANON - Anon on April 23, 2005
    i really like this so far, it's well written and sexy in a sweet way. I suppose the obvious opinion for how you could continue is sex. Maybe in the pool?
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