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Reviews for Ad Astra Per Aspera

By : TallyHo
  • From Utopia on June 21, 2007
    BETTER! MUCH BETTER! This chapter was a ten-fold improvement on the previous ones! The paragraphs flowed fluently into each other, the dialogue made more sense, the points of view were crystal clear, the description was undoubtedly deeper. KEEP UP THIS STANDARD, and I implore you to go back to the previous chapters and do with them whatever you did with this one to make them truly magical!
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  • From Utopia on June 21, 2007
    This chapter was rather complicated and confusing for the reader. It was unclear when the scenes were occurring, I could hardly tell the difference between flashback and present. I'd recommend that you divide the times with flashbacks in italics, perhaps with a line/some form of separator between the scenes. The fic started out so promising, but I'm afraid the quality has gone downhill.
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  • From Utopia on June 21, 2007
    I shall actually vote for number one, and your "threat" of a catapult is rather childish - anyone wishing to grow as a writer must accept constructive criticism with grace and learn from it! The chapter was incredibly jumpy from viewpoint to viewpoint and I became quite confused in following the opinions and thoughts. The name of the spell should have been in italics (so your formatting would be in cannon with the books). Personally, I found the only redeeming feature to be the spell regarding Harry's glasses, that was a stroke of genius. As much as I'd want to see the afore mentioned 12 pages of smut - I wouldn't want to read it if the narrative lept in a random nature between the two participants.
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  • From Utopia on June 21, 2007
    I have one complaint for you, in your 8th paragraph you wrote "champaign", it is correctly spelt champagne. The chapter began in a rather shallow mood in my opinion, but it soon fell into something much more beautiful and wonderful. Your description was lovely, especially as you merely hinted at what was happening - but still painted a picture of exactly what was happening. I adored that you had them close the curtains, and had them enter their own little private, enclosed heaven; but dose that follow with your prologue? (I can't remember a mention of dark green curtains, and if the curtains are velvet then there wouldn't be the light to see his 'lover' by in the morning.)
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  • From Utopia on June 21, 2007
    Nice start. I'm teetotal, and therefore have never had a hangover; and your description makes me never want to try that particular experience! The chapter was short, but focussed in on the scene. The vocabulary used was better than I've seen in some fics and didn't fall into stereotypical words; the description of Draco's hair was particularly unique and a lot more poetic in comparison to 'platinum blonde'.
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  • From misslala on June 21, 2007
    Oh this is a good read. The spell is clever, so clever indeed. :) I hope to read more soon!!
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  • From dregunfire on February 10, 2007
    Hi I had read this story a while back and I was wondering if you'll be up dating any time soon or if there is another site that I can find more of the story. I there is can you please send it to me thanks.
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  • From ANON - strawberry_buttercup on November 28, 2006
    i do hope your continuing the story? it was just getting good too...
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  • From ANON - Soniya on January 02, 2006
    please write more, pretty please, and thankyou
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  • From ANON - Sarah on December 21, 2005
    I am enjoying this fic emensly. Did I spell that right? Probably not. Keep it up!
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  • From ANON - soniya on December 18, 2005
    more please moremoremore thankyou so good
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  • From ANON - Suss on December 17, 2005
    continue babe! I
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  • From ANON - Suss on December 17, 2005
    continue babe! I
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  • From ANON - Adela Nightmoon on December 16, 2005
    can we get a decent sex scene... please??? not just some cruddy rememberences?
    and do try to tone it down with the flashbacks, they make the story harder to read, it flows less!
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  • From ANON - joanna on December 14, 2005
    Pretty Please with a cherry and sugar on top please continue.
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