Click Here!

Reviews for A Short Journey

By : Bargle5
  • From Bargle5 on November 07, 2007
    Glad you enjoyed it, Melantha. Thanks for taking the time to review.
    Report Review

  • From melanthamalfoy on November 06, 2007

    Report Review

  • From Bargle5 on September 15, 2005
    Thanks Ridge. My own frustration at not being able to find many non-slash trio fics was what impelled me to write this one.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Ridgeback77 on September 14, 2005
    That was a great story. I was glad to find a trio fic with no slash involved. Very refreshing.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Sal\'alvendra on August 15, 2005
    (I hope this hasn't sent twice, but my computer had a nervous breakdown...)

    Anyway, I thought that this story was very good! I felt sorry for poor Harry, but it was alright in the end... *smile*

    Great work!
    Report Review

  • From Bargle5 on August 13, 2005
    Angeldust, the third person speech is Hermione engaging in a bit of roleplaying. Much like a stewardess or tour guide. She is deliberately speaking in an overly formal manner to try and get the boys into the spirit of the moment and it also helps her feel in control of the situation. She very much wants things to go well and this is a way of not letting the nervousness they are all feeling take over.
    As for the thoughts, I personally find it irritating sometimes when an author has a character do something without it being clear how the character arrived at their decision for their actions. I like trying to get into the characters minds and it's something I tend to do often in my stories. I find that spending too much time describing the physical makes the sex scenes seem mechanical to me. Different strokes for different folks.
    I politely reccommend that you avoid any other stories I've written as the things you don't like (except for the third person thing) are common to my way of writing and show up to some degree in all of my stories.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Belatrix007 on August 13, 2005
    i love this story, after all i love trio fics lol this story was good i liked it, exept for hermione talking in third person sometimes, but other than that it was great! you should keep going with this and see where it leads to!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - angeldust on August 13, 2005
    this story wasnt bad, and i thought it was quite interesting actually, but there are a few problems first of all: hermione talking in third person. whats up with that? it just doesnt sound like her you know? and i think its pretty stupid. next: thoughts, you put too many thoughts, and you put wether they are thinking about any litle thing, you should put less of those and fix urself on decribing thier actions more because that leads me to the third problem: the characters seem to sound mechanical sometimes, and the smut needs a bit working on.
    Report Review

  • From hobbit on July 07, 2005
    Good story, and worth the long read. I love the dialog, keep up the awesome work.

    SignedAngel.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Narcissa Black on June 23, 2005
    Great. I know people like the trio with others (I am guilty as well), but there's something so satisfying about them together. Harry. Yep, if I had to choose, it wouldn't be difficult.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Avanell on June 23, 2005
    That was both smutty and cute...loved it!
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Nymphe on June 22, 2005
    What a nice slice of lemon meringue pie--lemony sweetness with fluff on top.
    Report Review

  • From ANON - Reenie on June 19, 2005
    So so so loved it!!!! OK, I'm losing the ability to build a proper sentence structure, see now what you have done to me!! Marvellous fic, can't put it otherwise. I assume there won't be a sequel, but have you written some other HP stories? Getta go and check!
    Report Review

  • From on June 13, 2005
    This story would be awsome if you continued it too. I would love to read more from you. You truly do have a great imagination, for a man, lol. Please e mail me when you add more, or write another.

    arhpss35@aol.com
    Report Review

  • From Bargle5 on June 12, 2005
    I've got a couple of others in progress. These are the only completed ones at the moment.
    Report Review

T.O.S. | Content Guidelines | DMCA Info | F.A.Q. | Facebook | Tumblr | Abuse | Support | Contact | Donate

Click Here!