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Reviews for captured by a traitor?

By : botonchan
  • From ANON - Coco on August 15, 2012
    Well... I have trouble reading your fanfiction... I don't know whether you realized or not, but your whole fanfiction is very badly formatted. There are formatting mistakes everywhere and are in the way of reading your FF.

    I read the first two chapters - but then everything went wrong with the formation... Please fix that. Otherwise reading and enjoying your actual fanfiction is hard...
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  • From Sadistic-uke on March 15, 2012
    Word of advice, don't change point or view. It's not necessary, it takes from the story, makes it confusing and hard to read and I really do want to read this story, but the constant change of views irks me enough then I almost don't want to. Keep it third person, or in one character's point of view. You can chance point of view with a new chapter, but personally I'd recommend you just stick to third person.
    Just in case you don't actually know (gotta remember that not everyone's parents are english teachers >
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  • From sanda on April 24, 2008
    good story
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  • From dominique1 on April 21, 2008
    to good
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  • From ANON - ... on April 20, 2008
    Don't change POV so often, and definitely don't label POV's.
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  • From satine1313 on June 11, 2007
    Hope you will update your fics soon. I read all three of them and I like them sooooo much.
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  • From ANON - angel on November 26, 2005
    wow great story please more

    angel
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  • From ANON - deb on November 26, 2005
    you updated!! cheers claps and screams whooooooooooooo yea !!! great chapter oooo now thats nasty, i would love this story if this story you make harry a submissive! and Snape his dom
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  • From ANON - sam on November 19, 2005
    please update cant wait for more! whats gonna happen?!!
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  • From ANON - deb on November 11, 2005
    please update!!! pleaseplease i cheak every day!
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  • From ANON - dan on October 20, 2005
    please update great story!
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  • From ANON - sara on October 19, 2005
    wow amazing story it really is, its been like that for a while have you stopped writing it if not cant wait for you to update
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  • From ANON - deb on October 19, 2005
    please update soon! please please please !!!
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  • From ANON - RowanNightwish on August 25, 2005
    It's looking pretty good, very well developed and the grammer mistakes aren't very many. Good work, keep it up!
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  • From ANON - antipyro on August 08, 2005
    I can just hear the music in the background, like in the Saturday morning comics on t.v., "Dun, Dun, Dun, daaaa"

    I'm sorry if you didn't write it this way, but it screams of "Holy Schmole ---" and "Take THAT you Bastard" type of retoric.

    The idea of the story is unusual in that we've been given no background to base what may be going on or the hopes we may have. Hopefully, the next chapters will give us this. You've given us some idea in that this is taking place in Snape Mansion and Snape has some control, but stopped short of what that may entail. If Snape is to 'break' Harry, it could mean an option for our 'hero'.

    I like the idea of Remus struggling against his affliction and facing a losing battle because of sleep is one I haven't seen before. Is this because of the full moon or the drug/poison that was injected into him. Will the antidote reverse this? I hope so.

    I realize I'm being quite blunt with my review, but hope that you'll continue with the story and develop it more fully, as it so deserves.

    Please, keep posting.
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