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Reviews for Sorry, Ickle Ronniekins!

By : BlindJedi
  • From ANON - gmac on July 23, 2005
    more more more is demanded
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  • From ANON - Shuriell on July 06, 2005
    I request more. :)

    brilliant story.
    a bit straining on reality, considering hermiones change of view in the middle.
    maybe you could have included a bit more about the "snap" in her mind. but as i cant seem to think of something that would have been appropriate at that point i think thats just the problem.

    I would love to see the reactions of the others (especially ron)

    please write more.
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  • From ANON - CiraArana on July 03, 2005
    Yes, yes, yes, MORE!!
    Very good and so many loose ends. It demands a sequel. Please do write it!
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  • From ANON - Drake Smythe on June 26, 2005
    I don't know if you know this, but your story, when saved as a .doc file, turns out to be 69KB. A very appropriate number for a lemon. Keep up the good work, hopefully you can add a few more chapters, of how they take their relationship and such. Update soon.
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  • From ANON - LuffySP on June 26, 2005
    I loved it. I hope that Harry and Hermione will be together forever, as they are ment to be. While I doubt something this graphic will happen in the book, I hope JKR decides to have them get together too, if not on the same level. I hope Mrs. Weasly didn't chew them out too bad ^_^ Keep writing, MORE HARRY/HERMIONE!
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  • From ANON - HP fan on June 26, 2005
    This is a good story and i hope you continue it.
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  • From DreamAngel on June 26, 2005
    You have to continue this one... It's great. I find most of my HP/HG stories on portkey but I thought I would look here and I'm glad I did. Great story.
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  • From ANON - Bringhimup on June 26, 2005
    I like your stil. The start was not so funny, because I hate the idea of R/HR, but the rest was great! I demand more ;)
    You have to write more, because I want to know, if Hermione gets pregnant und what Ron will say to all of this! You should write a full novel length fanfic! I want to know, what's the glowing was and how Harry will kill Voldemort.
    Keep up the good work!
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  • From ANON - sunny on June 26, 2005
    WOW!!! I dont know what else to say. Write more it was so good I read it like 8 times. Ok, I'm calm. Just as a suggestion write about the baby that Harry and Hermione could have. I think that would be very interesting to read about. ;)!
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  • From ANON - Adria on June 26, 2005
    I request more! I've been waiting for a really good Harry/Hermione fic, and this one has a great plot and great writing!

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  • From ANON - Anon on June 25, 2005
    more is demanded
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  • From ANON - Pastel on June 24, 2005
    I love Harry in this. He is like a puppy who is just begging for love and affection. I hope you write more about this couple.
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  • From ANON - Bambu on June 24, 2005
    The lines between being masterful and overpowering are sometimes very narrow... your characterization of Harry is not terribly dissimilar to JKR's depiction of his almost uncontrollable anger in the early chapters of Book 5, and it works quite well. This is a young man who wouldn't quite know how to display affection/love/lust in an appropriate fashion. That his sudden epiphany would happen on the brink of losing that 'thing' he suddenly realizes is the raison d'etre of his life is certainly plausible. I could see Harry taking the opportunity to tell Hermione what he feels, even if his original intention wasn't to force her. That he makes the decision to 'take' her is a bit of a stretch, but hey, this is fan fiction, and you work Hermione's sudden capitulation fairly well. That Harry gets what he wants because he has been forceful is perhaps a little difficult to take, but you've balanced it by describing his need in such a way as to garner the sympathy of your readers. That's very well done.

    Realizing that all it takes to be a critic is an open mouth and ten fingers, please do not be offended by this next little paragraph. I do not mean to offend you, but I've read both of your stories and wanted to make a comment on two contextual matters (as in grammatical). You might want to re-read your chapters a final time before posting them ('new' instead of 'knew', 'feudal' instead of 'futile'). We all make these mistakes from time-to-time and a final read-through can really help. At least it's helped me so many times that I'm certain I'm a fumble-fingered hack most of the time. I think it's great to read fanfiction written by a man -- as unusual as it is to find -- but I'd like to make a small comment about the cohesiveness of your tone. You seem to have a tendency to vacillate between romanticism and crudity (for example, 'his tongue doing slow exploratory circles in the recesses of Hermione's mouth' this is quite a romantic form of expression -- and perfectly aligned to your target audience; however, shortly after this description you have quite a dissimilar one, then letting the tit meat slide out between his lips -- the phrasing is graphically different from the first expression and is a bit jarring to the erotic 'tone' you're attempting to create. I think it may simply be that men and women have different modes of expression, but I found myself startled on more than one occasion by some of terms you use, and it has nothing to do with prudery, simply the jarring juxtaposition of erotica with smut (which are two entirely different things).

    I look forward to seeng what you do with this story... the potential long-term consequences are very intriguing to contemplate, and I quite like your conscientious and, yet, possessive and determined Harry.
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  • From E5150 on June 24, 2005
    Great story! We definatly need more.
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  • From ANON - RandH4ever on June 23, 2005
    MORE!!! What will Ron's reaction be? Will Harry live after the final battle and get married to Hermione?
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