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Reviews for The world of darkness

By : poulsen
  • From ElementalDemonessSorceress on September 09, 2008
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From ANON - Megan Consoer on November 29, 2006
    I really like this story alot. Can you please write some more chapters?
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  • From ANON - Anon on June 27, 2006
    Please fix your spelling if you want people to read and review your stuff fairly, you shouldn't post something with that many spelling mistakes.
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  • From ANON - Aurelia on August 04, 2005
    This sounds like it could be interesting. Perhaps if you made it a little longer? Maybe make Hermione's reasons for serving Voldemort a little clearer? I would suggest making this first chapter a prologue, then fleshing out the next few chapters a bit more. For instance, if Hermione has indeed switched sides, why does she dislike Draco? Also, I recommend you find a beta-reader, there are some glaring spelling errors in this. :) Good luck!
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  • From ANON - Yumi_Fan on July 14, 2005
    My sister, Marigold, read your story and was like, Yumi_Fan would like that, and I do, I really do. It has lots of different roads and endings, but you have the same problem I had when I first started Fanfiction, and that's grammar, and details.

    The details I can't help you with, your pretty good at it, but not as much as a great writter would have. Say, when you wrote abot the great friends Hermione has, who are they, why are they great etc, etc, etc... Of course, we all know, but... Hey, details are good, details are very good. And since you said this is a sad story... Please... The ending was ssssssssssooooooooo ggggggggggggggooooooooooooooooooooooooooodddddddddddddddddddd... And funny. Which is not sad... BUT WHO CARES??? Just say in your summary there is a bit o sarcastic humor in it... It works... People like sarcastic humor, I LIKE SARCASTIC HUMOR.

    Marigold: What makes you think people likes sarcastic humor then? After all, who likes things you like? Your a crazy maniac who has not point in-

    Yumi_Fan: Hermione/Draco, Cho/Harry are my points in like... Sesshoumaru/Kagome, Naraku/Kagome, Hiten/Kagome too...

    Marigold: Whatever, who likes what you-

    Yumi_Fan: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    Marigold: I'm going... -.-;;

    Yumi_Fan: Well, she's gone. Anyways, about the grammar, either get a beta (Which from reviews are the only thing people think helps) or grammar and spelling check. Open Office is a good thing to download (You free downloads on Fanfiction.net) or you could look for free downloads of spell check and grammar check. Grammar check is hard to get for free, but if you use Micorsoft Words the green underlined frases means that frase is not in proper grammar...

    ^^;; Any ways... THIS IS NOT A FLAME!!! Like I said, I love this story and where it is going, so please UPDATE!!!

    Marigold: You haven't updated A Path Of Life and Sanitry in MONTHS. Underline SSS.

    Yumi_Fan: Fine! Be that way! *Blushes* See, I got 'bout 23 reviews on that story... And well... I haven't updated in a long time... *Falls anime style*

    Anyways,

    Sincerely,
    Yumi_Fan

    Review by: Yumi_Fan
    Making sure Yumi_Fan doesn't kill herself: Marigold

    P.S. Sorry for the speeling mistakes, Daddy no have grammar check... *Pouts*

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  • From brandnewdaydawning on July 12, 2005
    You've got the creative touch and a nice way with words. You are descriptive and thourough and that is important. But people wont read and review if your spelling and grammer are bad. It makes the story hard to read. It's easier to read if you put spaces and spell check. This story sounds like it has a lot of potential, I'd like to see it continued. But you should probably advertise for a beta in you description. Normally I would offer to Beta for you but I am already reading two stories and don't have time to do it properly. Good luck and update soon. I am very curious to see what Hermione has been up to and how you describe Draco.
    Rain
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  • From ANON - Mitalanea on July 12, 2005
    One word....Beta.
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