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Reviews for You are mine

By : silverwoman
  • From BubblesFreak15 on January 01, 2013
    The plot it cute. There are several writing errors though. The tense changes througout the sentance and in and on are mixed up.
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  • From ANON - slashlover1980 on August 08, 2005
    Wow. That was...wow. Hot!! And this is your first sex story? Wow.
    I really, really liked it. Please write more stories like this one, and i will love you forever. = )

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  • From ANON - thrnbrooke on July 17, 2005
    Oh wow! *sigh* I love it!
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  • From ANON - sarry on July 16, 2005
    That was so nice. i was crying in the last part.

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  • From ANON - razzle on July 16, 2005
    You did a really good job, you just need to work on your grammar. I loved the fact that Harry got all jealous went about proving that he was the best lay Draco's ever had, it was really sweet and nicely detailed
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  • From ANON - Alexa on July 15, 2005
    There was such a big problem with the tenses that it spoiled the whole story. You need to turn everything into past tense, (are-were, was; will-would, I am-I was, have-had...). You can't just mix past and present in narration.
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  • From ANON - sharon on July 15, 2005
    Well it is a good story for sure. I'm sure that I won't be the only one to tell you that you will need a beta. You seem to stuggle with understanding when you need to use present or past tense in your writing. Reading alot should help there and a good beta. The sex scene was well written and you should have no worries there and referring to other authors works should give you more confidence as well. Keep up the good work. Oh, and even when I do a review such as this I definitely proofread to see what I left out or misspelled and you would be surprised how many times I catch myself in error.
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  • From ANON - fragonknight01 on July 15, 2005
    *sigh* "I just love a happy ending! That was definitely sweet."
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  • From ANON - Eowynselixure on July 15, 2005
    Ok it was a VERY good story. But you got the contexts of words wrong a lot like you kept writingg on instead of in, and tenses like you kept saying thinks like 'He was aware that his neck id getting wet from Draco
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  • From IGGY on July 15, 2005
    Awww this was absolutely adorable. Gosh I love happy endings. *sigh* ahhh the wonders of fluff.
    This was great. Thanks for sharing!!

    Cheers,
    Pamela
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  • From ANON - Narcissa Black on July 15, 2005
    I thought the sex was quite good, but I was distracted by the constant change in verb tense. Please get a beta, don't bury the value of your writing.
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