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Reviews for If only I could tell you in your dreams

By : Punchlinedrama
  • From ANON - Aristo on August 20, 2005
    'The color of the warm pudding'? Um... which warm pu- never mind, I don't care. That's a horrible simile, it really, really is. Vague, and irrelevant- 'chocolate' eyes was bad enough, so be careful your language doesn't get too flowery! 'Ronold' was meant to be 'Ronald', I presume? You've also got 'Not while He had Ginny'- who, God? Mind your capitals unless it's a style thing, which I'm guessing it's not. That's a fair amount of mistakes for a short story- either your beta is lazy, or you are. Feel free to 'mail me if you need a ruthless beta, I've always got time and it's shame to ruin a good story with silly mistakes. Besides those things, this was short, sweet and emotive. Well done.
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  • From on August 05, 2005
    Aww... Poor Ron... Yeah, that was rather sad. And short, but it was great! The title was really what hooked me. I'm a sucker for good titles, and this one was great. I think you should continue this, personally. Flesh it out a bit, add a few chapters. It's got the makings for the great teenage angst stories. Everyone loves a good angsty diddy! Watch your tenses every now and then, but other than that, wonderful. And I'd really like to see more of this ^_^ Heeheehee, it was just so cute and sad and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer! Please consider making another chapter?
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