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Reviews for Baby trouble.

By : jaymclg
  • From Pegleg-TinStar on August 02, 2020

    having seen your response to blunt criticism (atrocious, you make my eyes bleed), I’ll try and be a bit gentler.  That said, plain and simple, your writing does need some work,

    This piece is filled with several brilliant ideas that are worthy of individual stories of their own, and therein lies one problem: with so much going on, you’ve overwhelmed the reader with interesting plots that need a more thorough exposition.

    Particularly problematic are storylines where the plot deviates so far from the HP canon.  Almost all FanFic deviates from canon, and that’s okay; the authors obligation is to make the reader understands the differences well enough for their story to make sense.  This is where the instant story fails most spectacularly.  

    JKR’s genius lies not just in her imagination, but in her ability to tie complex storylines and motivations together, and in providing backstories for the characters that drive their actions through the story.  It’s one thing to have an imaginative idea that can be made to fit in the HP-verse, it’s another thing to tie it in so that it actually does fit in.

    Finally, the toughest thing to write in any story is convincing dialogue between the characters. It is a common short coming in many of the FanFic story’s on this website, and this story is no exception.

    Break this story down into it’s component parts and try again:  Harry to a 4 year old and back; Harry and Ginny as soul mates; bringing Harry’s parents back; Dumbledore and McGonagill as Harry’s antecedents(?).  Pick one, go back, tie the plot line together with an adequate back story that covers the differences between your HP-verse and canon, and then make the characters actions and dialog drive your story, instead of getting dragged along behind it like a body tied behind a pick-up truck.


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  • From ANON - carolyn jinn on October 07, 2014
    I have just found your story. I am really enjoying it. There are a few small spelling errors but these don't take away from the story. I am a big fan of soul bond stories.
    Please continue to write as I would love to see where you take this story.
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  • From ANON - Nissi on March 29, 2011
    I love this story and I wish you would continue it
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  • From ANON - Pat Cross on November 18, 2010
    GREAT STORY! And even better, your response to that review. WOW! If it had been me, my ears would be singed. :) LOL :)If I ever write on this site, I solemnly vow not to run afoul of you! Warmest regards

    patcross sends
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  • From ANON - Kyle on July 21, 2010
    I have really enjoyed your story thus far and hope that another chapter will be posted soon.
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  • From ANON - juan on May 27, 2010
    I'm glad many of your stories in the other web site don't get many reviews who wants to read stories from someone who likes to quit on stories and write faggot ones
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  • From ANON - juan on May 27, 2010
    no worder the idea is the same you're the same asshole who quit on the other story man I love this web site no censor on reviews and I can curse whatever I want to unlike those faggots lovers from the other web site
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  • From ANON - juan on May 27, 2010
    good start man another story gieven up just like another story where ginny was turn into a baby the same way man people are stupid this days they write and they quit when they get reviews. Good thing I'm writing one like this one and the other one show you assholes how to really finish a story
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  • From ANON - Jennifer on May 03, 2009
    My son is going to be 6 in October and only weighs 35 lbs. He's tall but if he pulls his knees to his chest it's very easy to "cradle" him. And he eats around every three hours so malnourishment is not a factor! I think it would be easy to cradle a 4 year old especially if the have not had a growth spurt yet.
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  • From steveo26 on March 18, 2008
    This is an interesting story I wonder how the rest of it will work out
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  • From ANON - kittenclaws on February 12, 2008
    awesome story I hardly ever review a story but I liked
    this one and I thought why not well later
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  • From rmfteddy on July 27, 2007
    Nice job.
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  • From Joey on July 14, 2007
    Ish this ove...NOO!!! I want more...more...MORE!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAHH!! Sorry...I love it!!!!
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  • From kittenclaws on June 08, 2007
    great story very original i loved it
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  • From MrGalion on January 31, 2007
    You can't end it there.
    I like your writing, It could be tad better, but it is far above me so I like it.
    Update all your stories soon.
    ""Believe in the Impossible and it shall be true.""
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