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Reviews for No Longer Helpless

By : DB2020
  • From ANON - jenny on November 25, 2005
    I know you finished this story long ago, so this review may not have any effect....First of all, I havent read the whole story, but so far the plot's pretty good, and I like your versions of Draco & Hermione. But you need a beta, period. If you already have one, they're not doing their job, because this story needs help in basic grammar, especially commas, quotations, hyphens/parentheses and run-on sentences. You've got a good story here, but it's twice as long as it needs to be because of so much bombastic language and repeated ideas. Consise is good. And NEVER, EVER put author's notes in the middle of your chapters, it distracts from the story, it serves no point for the plot, and it's a sign of immature writing. But I really am enjoying your story, and I only criticize writers when I think they have the ability to improve.
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  • From ANON - Jessica on November 01, 2005
    This story was so awesome. If you ever decide to do a sequal, PLEASE e-mail me and let me know. Awesome job!
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  • From ANON - Lily on October 21, 2005
    That was a sweet ending. Can't wait if there's a sequel or an epilogue. Good JOB!
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  • From ANON - lilycat on October 21, 2005
    Wow... That was an intense ending. The scene where Blain told Hermione what had happened was very well-written; the contrast of his perception of the events contrasted with her dawning realization and horror was very effective. Poor Draco- you could really feel his angst regarding the whole situation, and it was heartbreaking at times.

    It's a beautiful story, and a great ending. I will definitely be looking for more of your writing in the future!
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  • From ANON - elektrik_storm on October 21, 2005
    read this from beginnging to end and this fic is absolutely fantastic! i loved it!
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  • From ANON - carabella on October 17, 2005
    ive gotta say, that was a truly fantastic story. sex+a-real-plot=bloody fantasticness!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - kurtcouper on October 16, 2005
    Gorrrgeous. I'm shocked and in love and wow. This was a beautiful and wonderful story that I don't think I'll ever forget. Thank yoU!!
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  • From ANON - anon on October 15, 2005
    As much as I love you for this story. DON'T DO A SEQUAL!!!!!!!!!!!! Unless you are 2000% sure about it. The sequals I've read here and other places usually aren't as good as the original, because its not the same feeling behind it all.
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  • From ANON - sunny on October 15, 2005
    I can't believe that its over!!!! I loved this story...your Draco and Hermione ere great!!!! But I kinda feel the same as that other person in that I am still hoping that it isn't indeed the end....I need more!!!! I don't kno if its cuz I hate that its over and can't accept that alll good things must come to an end or if I just need more of an end end...if that makes any sense.....Maybe I just need a SEQUEL!!!!! You are an amazing talent....please keep on riting!!!!
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  • From ANON - Jade Symphony on October 15, 2005
    Cool! I liked your story.
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  • From ANON - Kristal on October 15, 2005
    AWW!!! im SOOO sad!!!
    no more!:(
    but you gotta write more HG/DM fics!!! and when you do....
    EMAIL ME!! haha
    ur such an awesome writer!!!
    im gunna miss checkin my emails to see if uve update! :(
    well i guess this review isnt going to have the "(email:))" at the end!!
    well i loved the chappy!! its so cute..i do hope u write an epilogue and/or a sequel!!!
    ah!!
    thnx
    Kristal
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  • From ANON - cleopatra on October 14, 2005
    Wow! Its finished! I loved it! I hope you keep writing more Draco/Hermione stories - you are a very good writer and I thoroughly enjoyed reading each and every chapter. Blain is funny! Thanks again
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  • From ANON - Lix on October 14, 2005
    Yeah, me again. I still say that had better not be the end. Not only do I love your story, but ... well I wanted more of an ending than that!! I have no idea what I mean by that so, guess this isn't really a helpful review.

    But I do have something to say in response to a different reviewer. Paragraphs can be however long you like them. If you limit yourself to 5-6 sentances a pargraph you limit the possibilities. Honestly somethings are just said better, with better flow and what not in a 12 sentance paragraph. And some in a 2 sentance paragraph. Always go with what feels right to the mood of the story at that particular moment, and ignore conventions. That's how you get people hooked.

    Much love to you, and you'd best post another story soon if this was in fact it.
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  • From ANON - Andraea Shade on October 14, 2005
    SQUEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GOOD STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  • From ANON - Trace on October 14, 2005
    Hey...I've been following this story since it was first posted. I haven't wanted to review before the end..but I must admit that was an awesome story.
    A great mix of all the elements, and just simply amazing writing!!
    I do hope you write another Draco/Hermione story (i love that couple lol)
    best of luck!
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