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Reviews for Chance Meetings

By : Xirene
  • From RogueMudblood on October 02, 2011
    I liked the beginning. Kayla's introduction was done very well, and her interaction with her brother once they arrived at Spinner's End was itneresting as well.

    However, having her be a member of the Order seems a bit Sue-ish, and if I may say, it seems as though this was just tacked on to give the story some 'substance'.

    One of the things that indicates this to me is that during her 'confession' to Snape she says that she wants to be of assistance to him and he tells her he would like to clear it with Albus first. Later she says she's been hired as the DADA teacher. This tells me that she would already have known that she had clearance - or not - to pursue Snape romantically.

    The sex scene itself I liked, in that the actions were realistically portrayed and it flowed well. The build-up could possibly have been slightly different. One interruption by Wormtail, which was expected, would have deflated Snape considerably; two (when she stops him cold by telling him she knows he's a spy) would have been enough to have him flaccid. Yet directly following her confession he's already prepared enough for her to fellate him.

    Please don't misunderstand me; I think you have a very workable story here, with the potential to be much more than just a one-shot PWP. I think Kayla could be a character with a great deal of depth and that her relationship with Snape could develop beautifully.

    I do thank you for sharing this. Should you choose to revisit it in the future, I hope you will take Kayla's characterization into consideration. Happy writing.
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