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Reviews for Sometimes

By : MrsDracoMalfoy20
  • From ANON - Lily on October 19, 2005
    This is awesome! Hope you post more soon!
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  • From ANON - Nena on October 17, 2005
    What a great story!I love it!Draco is super hott!!Keep up the great work!!! :)
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  • From ANON - Cat on October 16, 2005
    Hey Debi,

    Don't be discouraged by bad reviews/flames. The constructive criticism is good, so use it to improve your writing. Everything intcrimgrrl said is helpful. Everyone needs a beta, so don't be afraid to find one- there's a yahoo group for them listed on this site. You've got good ideas, and a beta will help you refine them and make sure nothing gets lost in translation between your head and the page. Sometimes I go back to read something I've written and discover that I'm shocked at how little sense it makes due to things I omitted or typos, etc., so I find betas extremely helpful. It's not an insult or a slam- we all need them!

    It's great that you're writing, and I hope we see more from you!
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 16, 2005
    You stink! You do not read Harry Potter Books do you? You only saw the movie probably. Stop writing and start reading!
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  • From ANON - intcrimgrrl on October 16, 2005
    I've just read your first chapter, and have some constructive criticism. You've got a lot of introductory stuff that's really not necessary to people reading fanfic. You can assume we all know who the main players are so that you can start setting up your own scenario. I'd much rather have read background on what's going on, rather than learning who Harry is, which we all already know. Your spelling and grammar need serious work - there are all sorts of miscapitalized letters in this chapter that makes it incredibly distracting. In addition, you need to change your sentence structure from one to the next and use linking words and phrases like: finally, however, nevertheless, "After Ron finally got his head out of his ass and asked Hermione out, they'd been a happy couple since the summer." This will helpl tremendously with flow, because right now there's not a lot of flow. It's good that you're writing, but I'd strongly, strongly, strongly suggest that you get a beta reader to help you improve. The story's not unreadable or anything, but does need a bit of work. Good luck with it.
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  • From ANON - Anon on October 16, 2005
    This is a good story, but it is overshadowed by the atrocious spelling. I'm not sure some of these mistakes are even words. "Enter douce", instead of introduce? You might want to look up "espouse" as well. Beta. No, that's not right, BETA!!!!
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  • From ANON - Sommer on October 16, 2005
    I'm going to kick Draco in the head.
    But I guess he has to deny his feelings for her or there won't be much of a story.
    Great So far......P.S I hate Pansy.
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  • From ANON - Patronuscharm2 on October 16, 2005
    Great Story! I love it! Your doing a fantastic job keep up the great work! Ooooo! YAY im your first review! please update soon!
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