Adult-FanFiction.org : Harry Potter

Reviews for Harry Potter\'s Rise to Power

By : oldwolf

From bsmith2114 on April 08, 2011
I know that you haven't written in a long time. but this is still a great story. The Sisters black is still one of the best stores ever written. This is to, even better if you kept it going. We miss your input.
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From noylj on April 19, 2010
You wrote: Once Harry returns, Remus says,
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From shinjithegoodsharer on April 26, 2007
Nice job, i hope to see more of this soon!
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From ANON - Backdoor Bandits. on August 07, 2006
We know where you live. We're coming to rape you up your repressed gay ass with a donkey dildo.
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From Muggleman on January 24, 2006
Ok i 1st want to say i like this story alot cant wait for a update but as i and others have said i dont think the charecter change in harry and hermione is good for the story
it was at 1st harry just wanting his friend back now hes really power hungrey and treats her like a slave more then a friend and where are her parents in all this and what is harry going to do when he goes back to hogwarts hermione never graduated nither did pansy and is ginny going back or harry whats going to happen when a bunch of harrys sex slaves are in school

ok back to the main subject you need to change things back so harry starts acting like a friend to hermione again and remember what hes doing almost like what ron did to her
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From ANON - horny lit student on January 18, 2006
I just had a thought: Harry is attacked in public despite the presence of his bodyguards (Tonks, Remus, and two or three other werewolves). During the attack, all of the assassins are killed, but Remus is as well. Tonks, extremely distraught and thinking she has little left to live for, asks or demands that Harry use the binding spell on her. The possibility of her inclusion into Harry's harem, as well as several scenarios that could cause it to come about have been shooting around my brain for a few weeks, and the one I described seems more probable than the others, but I'm sure that if you were planning to do it, you'd probably be a bit more creative than me.
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From ANON - Anon on January 14, 2006
Really like the story so far. I did find the way that Harry threated Hermione to be out of line with the rest of the story. While i think the way he treats Ginny and the rest of his "wives" is believable with the way you've written the story the way Harry treats Hermione doens't seem to fit with the previous chapters. Up to Chapter 4, she was always first and foremost his friend. Even when he disiciplined her in chapter 3 even when punishing Hermione Harry doesn't treat anywhere nearly as roughly as his other slaves. Hopefully this hasn't come across as a flame because like i said i really did like the story. :) Keep up the great work and hope to read more soon.
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From ANON - Lady Foxfire on January 13, 2006
My brain has turned into Swiss cheese... has anything happen to Draco yet?
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From ANON - Sean on January 09, 2006
Can't wait for your next chapter, please post more as soon as you are able to. Also, please try to keep up the good work
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From ANON - Saber on January 09, 2006
Great story, I hope you update soon. I wonder who the other brides he chooses will be? Update soon.
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From sasqch on January 06, 2006
Chapter 4

First off, I will focus on the things I found interesting in this chapter, because I did have a serious issue with a major development in the story.

I found it interesting that Harry is pretty much accelerating his plan to consolidate his behind the scenes attempt to create a base of power. His decision to take a third wife so quickly, and stressing that is occur before returning to Hogwarts, makes it appear that he is running on some sort of time schedule that has never been mentioned before. He has also made a great deal of effort in establishing a serious rapport with the werewolves. This will allow him to have a base of rabid and loyal followers. I found his discussion with Arthur to be in character for the story; he is still friendly to the majority of the Weasleys and holds no grudge. Arthur, being a man of deep conviction and honor, was quite willing to air his family's shame, yet Harry's plan needs to have this kept secret. Unexpectedly for Harry, Arthur gratitude for saving the rest of the family was even greater than he could have imagined. Arthur's oath has basically guaranteed another set of permanent allies for Harry to work with.

Another aspect of the story I liked was Cho. The introduction of her as a potential wife/slave came pretty much out of the blue; her family's background and standing is unknown in canon, but you gave the readers a good recap in a believable manner. Rather than just have a generic third-person overview, you instead had Harry question Hermione's choice of Cho, checking to see if she was just being jealous (and as seen with Hermione's treatment of Pansy, this question was not unfounded). This allowed you to give us the rationale for the Chang family's importance. But the main reason I found Cho's character to be interesting was the fact she wasn't a cookie-cutter copy of Pansy. You set up her family to be just as rigidly old fashioned as the Parkinsons, but rather than being accepting of the decisions of her family's head, Cho is more than slightly rebellious. She has "disgraced" the family honor by not remaining chaste; she has no desire to bend her will to Harry, nor does she want to be his wife simply because he has bought her dowry price. You made the effort to give a different personality from Pansy.

But you did falter with Cho's personality almost immediately though. You have her being very strong willed and independently minded. To the point of completely refusing to obey her new husband, obviously going against the traditional upbringing she was given. Yet, she instantly succumbs after a meager few punishment swats and the threat of a hanging. She is more than intelligent enough to have realized that Harry paid more than the normal dowry fee for a chaste daughter (let alone one who was no longer pure) to simply throw away the investment by immediately killing her. So why the abrupt and totally out of character conversion? It can't be that she suddenly cannot stand by her convictions due to the thought of pain, seeing as not only was she smack around pretty hard by both her father and her new husband, but more importantly, even when stewing over her father's treatment, she is hatching a plot to expose Harry's secrets to the Prophet. So her sudden collapse is a bit jarring when it occurs.

However, that out of character moment wasn't the only event. You have Harry lay out the ground rules to Pansy right in the beginning, explicitly stating that Hermione's word is second only to Harry's. That she is not to even consider disobeying her, unless it is countermanding an existing order from Harry. And the slave spell she is under is such that she can do nothing but think of pleasing him, no matter to order (see the question regarding Cho's gallows for example). Ergo, obeying this order should be second nature to her. Yet, the very first time Hermione gives Pansy an order, she balks. How would this be possible.

Yet still this is not the worse offense in losing sight of the character motivations. Back when Harry rescued Hermione from Ron's spell, he had to rape her, much like his slave spell he has used on his slaves. However, unlike his three slaves, he did not have Hermione's consent which is key to the spell. Instead, this act was driven on his desire for how he wanted Hermione to act upon her awakening. He wanted her to be as she was before this all began. In fact, upon her recovery, he was desperate for her forgiveness for having to using the spell. So why the hell would he start this chapter off by calling her his slave? He has never used this term for her before. He has been gentle and kind toward her, knowing the endless abuse she received from the Weasleys. Yet, here he is heaping the exact same physical and emotional abuse on her. He brutally forces her to masturbate and then without warning anally rapes her. And worse, given his reaction to the news that the Weasleys (especially Ginny) used her as a toilet), he makes her clean her own filth off of him. Again, why would he do this? She was getting above her station? For doing what, being the first wife? For being his confidant and aide? He turns around and relies upon her decisions to choose the next girl to be taken as a slave as well as doing the negotiations. He needs her to help with the planning with the wards for the werewolf asylum. Why does Harry suddenly treat her the same as he has treated Ginny, the bitch had been plotting to control his life and steal his future? And to make things even more confusing, you end up the chapter with Harry being extra protective, to the threat of disembowelment, toward Hermione. Again, this comes across very contrary to the treatment he himself shows her during the opening portion of the chapter.

Personally, I think you lost sight of the fact that Hermione was not a slave in this story. Yes, she was "taken", but not willingly, not by Harry's own choice. He would not want to treat her in the manner in which you suddenly did, after establishing her as his partner, no less. You are suddenly trying to establish (once again as you did in you last multi-chapter story) a need for Hermione to be submissive, after establishing her as anything but submissive.

I have hopes that this story continues to be interesting and entertaining, but a complete and utter reversal of characterizations will make it hard to follow. Sorry if this comes across as a flame, but the sudden creation of Slave-Hermione was more than a little hard to accept.

Chris
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From ANON - GB on January 06, 2006
Hey man I really like your stories.
this one is pretty good.
I think you should have a bit of talk/action concerning Hermione's parents. who
don't have a clue there daughter was a) molested, b) held against her will c) tortured d) given mind altering 'drugs'

keep up the good work.

cheers

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From ANON - eyeball on January 06, 2006
The following review reflects the opinion of the reviewer and can be seen as either constructive criticism or a flame by the reviewee. If the reviewee chooses to acknowledge the review as a flame, the reviewer hopes that the reviewee enjoys his s'mores...

What on earth have you done to these characters? I think that just about every single character that you have written in the story so far (as far as I had the stomach to read) has been OOC to some degree. Especially Harry. His attitude towards certain woman is disgusting. The fact he has certain words in his vocabulary says a lot, and none of what it's saying is good. It doesn't matter what the women in question may have said or done, any decent person wouldn't even think to use those words. And making Ginny walk around naked? ...Why? I won't even get into the rest of what I find to be 'wrong' with this story as I would be sitting here all night.

On a positive note... Aside from the actual content, I think that the story is well written (spelling, grammar, sentence structure, etc.).
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From Muggleman on January 05, 2006
ok like the new chapter but harry changed from someone who simply wanted hermione back to normal to treating her like a normal slave whats up with that
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From ANON - Prince Charon on January 05, 2006
You're very good at this.

Cho's a bit of a bitch, isn't she? As for Hermione, given what she went through, its impressive that she's even that sane.

Nice bit with the were's, its good to see that even Semi-Dark, sadistic Harry still has his conscience.

I look forward to more of this. Soon, please.
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