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Reviews for unmask

By : fredXweasleysXgirl
  • From on January 01, 2008
    THIS SUCKS!!!! go back to fanfic if you cant write better then this. try dong some ... uh... research!
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  • From on December 31, 2007
    sorry, but you could write a bit better. be more creatitive

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  • From ANON - Anon on November 06, 2006
    rushed
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  • From ANON - Chris on July 15, 2006
    Not bad, but too rushed, and grammar and punctuation need work - if I have to mention it to a writer, it's bad enough to spoil my enjoyment.
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  • From ANON - Anon on December 30, 2005
    capital letters are your friend, little fanbrat

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  • From FINKYPUNK on December 29, 2005
    LMAO this was really BAD! therefore, i am adding it to my Recommended Reading list!!

    Friggin' in the riggin'
    Friggin' in the riggin'
    Friggin' in the riggin'
    There was fuck all else to do

    -who loves ya, baby? FINKY loves ya, baby!
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  • From ANON - Eowyns elixure on December 22, 2005
    Right okay I know how it is to write a fic and be so exited about it that you put it up straight away but it really is worth it to look over it for spelling mistakes and puntuation mistakes before you put it up. I find it helps to revisit it after about an hour or so after writing it, so that you read it with fresh eyes. Also Fred and George really didn't 'discover' their love. I know that if I were helping my sister get dry after geting wet I wouldn't start suddenly coming onto her because...well...ew, basicly. Perhaps if you'd explained they already had feelings for each other and a little more nervouseness about what they were doing would have been better. I'd advise you to look over this and perhaps read some more fred and george fics.

    Good luck!

    *Eowyns elixure
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  • From ANON - jess on November 27, 2005
    it has potential but its a bit rushed, i think you should probably sit down and read through it again and make some changes, i would read it again if you re-wrote it.
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  • From ANON - Katie K on November 22, 2005
    Sex scene was awful, and capital letters are your FRIENDS. It won't kill you to use them.
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  • From Siarra on November 21, 2005
    Right now I find myself wishing that I wasn't an atheist, so that I could beg some deity to have mercy on me. I'm going to be overly polite and say that this fic isn't very good at all.
    The summary, while lacking important things like capitalization and punctuation, leads us to believe that we can expect an exciting, emotion filled fic, with interesting build up but the truth couldn't be further from that. This thing makes cheap porn look deep. There is no build up, nor do they "find out their love for eachother is more than brotherly". They simply have sex with no reason whatsoever. Not even very good sex, at that.
    I'm not even going to start on your spelling or the godawful way you did their characterization, or more specifically, the lack thereof.
    I've read quite a bit of wonderfully written Weasley twincest in my time, and you'd do well to do the same thing as a learning experience, before even considering attempting again.
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  • From ANON - Sammi on November 21, 2005
    This is good but it was kinda rushed. Also its a good idea to have some one beta things. But I love the idea of Fred and George in the prefects bathroom. I find the whole thing very hot.
    :D Sammi
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