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Reviews for chase

By : SilverDragonEyes
  • From ANON - ashling on December 28, 2005
    wasn't that bad, i like how draco was chasing after hermione(i know thats the point of the story ;) ), and i liked how draco asked herms to be his girlfriend. awww... the grammer is a bit weird, but hey! who cares?i got the point of the story, and it was well done:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
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  • From ANON - Karen on December 28, 2005
    You have potential, but you need a beta; the story's rather sloppy. You're switching back and forth between first person and second person POV. Everything referring to Hermione that's not in quotes should either be "I" and "my" (first person) or "You" and "your" (second person). The ending doesn't make any sense unless you establish that they've been playing control sex games.
    Your writing sounds a bit underage?
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  • From ANON - cherie on December 28, 2005
    I liked it. It was fast and hot with a good ending.
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  • From ANON - 2bfoundwanting on December 27, 2005
    Um.. was that meant to be a serious story? Because if so, it left a lot to be desired. I am not one to leave bad reviews normally, but... that was extremely unrealistic, rushed, and not terribly well written. I am sure that you can do better, if you just think your plot ideas through. I mean, does it sound realistic that someone would go from "you whore" to "Night Love" with in a 5 sentance gap? With absolutly no explanation either? I really dont mean this to be a harsh review, I just know that if you read stories and have a passion to write, than you must be able to write something more realistic.

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  • From ANON - tiny on December 27, 2005
    i liked it but i was a bit all over i was kinda confussed. was it in first person hermione with her telling the story? where you making the reader part of the story by bringing them directly into the eyes of hermione? either one is good but you might want to pick which one. other than that i enjoyed it and found it funny how it worked out! :)
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  • From ANON - Melissa on December 26, 2005
    That was ridiculously stupid.
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  • From avari20 on December 26, 2005
    Call me crazy, but I like it. Short and to the point. Kudos!
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