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Reviews for The Trip

By : smallyuy
  • From on December 29, 2005
    oooo, the sexual tension!!
    Can't wait for more
    chow for now!
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  • From ANON - felmyst on December 29, 2005
    Great start, looking forward to the next chap.....
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  • From ANON - Snarky B. on December 29, 2005
    Get a beta reader.
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  • From ANON - Darkladyd on December 29, 2005
    Sorry, I have no idea why my e-mail address did not show up before. Here it is...

    darkladyd2003@yahoo.com

    Darkladyd
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  • From ANON - Darkladyd on December 29, 2005
    Hey I get first review!! I love it so far, and I equally love the plot for this story so far! Just a couple of things.....your story reads.....I really don't know how to describe it........maybe sort of rushed? Slow down a little, and give a little more details. You also need to break-up your paragraphs a little bit more.....they kinda run together.

    Your grasp of English is very good, but you need to watch your phrasing a little.....your sentenses run together a little. Other than that, a very good start! I can tell, that I will really enjoy this story!! Please update soon!!

    **Your slight mistakes could be handled by a Beta Reader, and I offer my help...if you wish. Please contact me at the above e-mail address, if you interested**

    Darkladyd


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