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Reviews for The Trip

By : smallyuy

From on December 29, 2005
oooo, the sexual tension!!
Can't wait for more
chow for now!
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From ANON - felmyst on December 29, 2005
Great start, looking forward to the next chap.....
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From ANON - Snarky B. on December 29, 2005
Get a beta reader.
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From ANON - Darkladyd on December 29, 2005
Sorry, I have no idea why my e-mail address did not show up before. Here it is...

darkladyd2003@yahoo.com

Darkladyd
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From ANON - Darkladyd on December 29, 2005
Hey I get first review!! I love it so far, and I equally love the plot for this story so far! Just a couple of things.....your story reads.....I really don't know how to describe it........maybe sort of rushed? Slow down a little, and give a little more details. You also need to break-up your paragraphs a little bit more.....they kinda run together.

Your grasp of English is very good, but you need to watch your phrasing a little.....your sentenses run together a little. Other than that, a very good start! I can tell, that I will really enjoy this story!! Please update soon!!

**Your slight mistakes could be handled by a Beta Reader, and I offer my help...if you wish. Please contact me at the above e-mail address, if you interested**

Darkladyd

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