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Reviews for More Than Friends

By : paigej78
  • From luvhp on July 17, 2007
    Wow, that was a great trio fic, very hot!
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  • From AngelHino on January 26, 2007
    Um...Miss Paige...First, may I state that I really like this story. However, there were a some mistakes that I found in the first chapter that made it difficult to read.

    They are:

    The sentence "Friends and were chatting over coffee..." Friends and what? Also, there should be an "and" between "Friends and ? were chatting over coffee" and "young children were playing while their parents ate.", cutting out the comma, of course. The bit of sentence that goes "...but none more than Harry Potter who had dealt the final blow that ended Voldermort
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  • From Hermyone on January 25, 2007
    Very very hot and sexy, well written too.
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  • From ANON - Zenix on January 25, 2006
    Hey,
    I liked the first chapter, and did notice a couple of errors, though definately not
    enough to make reading difficult.( But then it's pretty late here, so maybe I just didn't see them. )

    "Friends and were chatting over coffee" shouldn't have the "and".

    "Being as famous as they are, each one had a gaggle of fans." You're using different tenses here, should be
    "Being as famous as they were, each one had a gaggle of fans."

    "Each of the trio had an apartment in the city for such public purposes, and to entertain their friends and family,
    and not long after Voldermort
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 24, 2006
    Reading the reviews you posted I have to agree.

    Too many commas and they are used incorrectly. One paragraph was a single very long sentence.

    In the second paragraph Hermione should know "she" holds or held their hearts, not her.

    Interjections used incorrectly.

    Instantly misspelled.

    Capitilization used in the middle of a sentence improperly.

    None of these lessen the value of your creativity. It just makes it difficult to read.

    I wanted to let you know since you had gone to the trouble of asking where the troubles were.
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  • From ANON - ladyknyght on January 23, 2006
    Fun start. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with it. :-)
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  • From ANON - slouchyduck on January 23, 2006
    for those that don't know, perusing means reading.
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  • From ANON - slouchyduck on January 23, 2006
    ok, i had already read this, but reread it to look for the errors people were talking about. the only spelling error i saw was you accidently put instabtly instead of instantly once. grammar wasn't bad, but maybe a few of the sentences were too long. maybe rewording a few of the longer sentences would take care of their complaints. other than that, i think you're doing a pretty good job, and i intend to keep reading your posts.
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  • From ANON - Narcissa Black on January 23, 2006
    Let me say that I was not bothered by the errors in the story. However, you did ask, so I did a quick beta of the chapter since it was so short. I found 5 errors, syntax, punctuation, spelling and tense. I don't find them glaring, but they are there. I will send the chapter to your e-mail. You should look for a beta. I beta for Donavon and Petalsoft. Good luck.


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  • From ANON - arurora on January 23, 2006
    This story really does have potential and i'm definitely intrigued so far. However you've missed a word somewhere in the first couple of paragraphs "Friends and were" is how you have it now. There are a few other grammatical mistakes that could be caught by a beta or a grammar check in any of the composition software. One other one i caught was Hermione is "perusing" something when you mean pursuing. Spellcheck wouldn't pick it up because they're both words.

    Hope this helps! Can't wait to read more!
    ~a
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  • From ANON - Earth's Fire on January 23, 2006
    You go girl! - assuming you are a girl.....

    I was so disappointed that it wasn't a new chapter, but I see where your frustration is coming from. Don't let em get ya down. I like your fics.

    Plz update soon!
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 22, 2006
    Well the storyline has potential; it's intriguing enough to make me want to come back and find out what Harry and Ron's great plan is. However, your vow to not post until it's ready to post should include spellchecking and proofreading for grammar. The spelling and grammatical errors make me think you are a teenager dabbling in writing and this is your first fanfic. Good potential, just tighten up and keep working on it. I will be back to read more.
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 11, 2006
    The story had potential but all the gramatical errors and missing words made it hard to get through. Don't get me wrong, I liked it. But it'd be nice if you could proofread before posting.
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  • From ANON - PennyT on January 11, 2006
    Hot! Hot! Hot! Glad to hear other stories will continue!
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