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Reviews for Embracing the Real Us

By : SchtzFrytls
  • From ANON - The doctors In on January 17, 2006
    In re-reading my review as it was posted I became concerned that I may have not been clear in the part where Dracos mother reenters the room and starts talking to the girls about the postion the boys are in. I am not worrying about when Narcissa re enters the room as far as your writing that she did, but that in said conversation between Harmione and Layla, Narcissa makes a comment and you didn't mention Narcissa having said that and I wanted to make that clear otherwise it would have looked as though I was wringing a towel about just a little thing about writing every time a person leaves or enters a room one way or another you have to make that clear, by saying Narcissa said or Naricssa entered the room and added at the end of the comment that was said. Not always easy to be understood clearly by the written word, probably why it is said to be careful what you write down. The doctor.
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  • From ANON - The doctors In on January 17, 2006
    I have just finished chapter three and find the story quite likeable. It is well spelled and well storied, other than it being clear that the author is a fashion bug. I did decide to make a comment in one aspect though, your not always careful about making it clear as to who is speaking at the time. In the scene where Dracos mother comes home and finds her son on the couch with Harry, she leaves the room and without ever entering it again she is all of a sudden talking about the boys being found in the position that they are in. This sounds small I know, but what happens is that the reader has to go back and read certain places again to try to clarify for sure just who is speaking. It is work in itself and leaves you as the reader constantly questioning weather they really understand who is speaking this takes away an enjoyment aspect to your story, and your story is too good for that. It may be just a weakness in your writing style that could easily be strenghtened by having a friend sit down with you, and reread this story, because your so familiar with it, and read it together and see if you can catch it yourself with this thought in mind. You may find that it is really easy to see, specially if you read it out loud. Hopefully this has been of help. The doctor.
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  • From ANON - thrnbrooke on January 17, 2006
    Can't wait for chapter 4!
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  • From ANON - Amessis on January 17, 2006
    Yeah, more! But I still think the boys need to be locked a room.
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  • From ANON - Amessis on January 16, 2006
    I love this story! Yes, go with Layla's idea and lock the guys in a room. I want to see that!
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  • From ANON - cyn on January 16, 2006
    *dances happily* there is more!! yay! well if nothing else, the one that is similar the furthest we got was finding out about all of them being elemental and I don't think I have seen it since (which is why I wondered if this was the same only being re-worked).

    I'm loving it. and i so want to kick draco or harry...they could at least kiss!
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  • From ANON - cyn on January 16, 2006
    i do believe that I like this. it is VERY similar to another that I was reading and wondered if it was just re-edited or something, but then the parties were different...
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  • From ANON - amanda on January 16, 2006
    update soon pleaseee update great chapters

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  • From ANON - amanda on January 16, 2006
    update soon pleaseee update great chapters

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  • From ANON - Demon Princess on January 16, 2006
    I love it. Can't wait 'till you update. You don't have any typos or anything that I am avare of, It's simply perfect.
    D.P.
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  • From ANON - methoslover on January 16, 2006
    You have an interesting begining. Will you be outfitting them with a Prep wardrobe as well or will you continue with the more goth look?
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