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Reviews for English Girls, Approximately.

By : odalisque
  • From ANON - Cuppie on February 12, 2006
    I mean this very respectfully, of course--because I certainly don't want you to get the wrong idea.

    I like this story, I really do. I think it's interesting, well-crafted and thought out. There's only one thing that surprised me. AFF obviously allows sex in its stories--and I'm not going to say, 'you don't have enough' because that's not the case at all. I think you have the right amount. You understand when to put stuff in--as the reviewer above said, "The right moment" and--not to sound perverted--but I was like, "Wow, if she writes like this--her intimate scenes must be incredible." Again, I'm not obsessed with sex. But I was really surprised when I came upon one. It made me stop and look at it, a little puzzled.

    Because while the rest of this story is written in a distinct style, using flowing imagery and creativity---the intimate scenes were so wordy that I had trouble following what exactly was going on. I mean, of course, some things were obvious but then flowing imagery would stumbled and fall down and a strange, drowning wordiness took its place, as if you were almost afraid to write what they were doing.

    And I can understand that not all sex has to be described in the finest detail--and I very much respect that. Is this your first time writing stuff like this? If it is, than I can see where you might struggle--or even be embarrassed. I don't blame you for that at all. Some high-and-mighty shitty people will say Well, you shouldn't be here then--which I heartily disagree too, becaue everyone has to start somewhere.

    I would recommend--as much as it might embarass you--to find some good stories, for no other reason than to pay attention to how other people construct sexual situations. I mean, the imagery was pretty--the falling snow and all that...but, in the end, it was just words. They didn't make me feel anything and that's where the problem comes in. I know I should feel something for Harry and Ginny and them being together....but I don't because it's suffocated by flowery language.

    That's all I had to say really. I just thought I should be honest--you were well recommended by Mariam over in FF7--and I can see why she likes it. It's actually got a plot, which I enjoy. It's refreshing. I loved it. It's just your intimate scenes that confused me--because while the rest of this story has a style that paints an image--and yet remains clear as to what's going on--those scenes seems muddled.
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  • From ANON - Anon on January 26, 2006
    I have to disagree, respectfully, of course--with the reviewer above.

    There's a story being built here. There are only seven chapters. It's not so much a sex-story as, a story-that-may-include-sex. Let's keep in mind that just because this site allows sex, doesn't mean it has to have sex in it.

    I gotta say that I was impressed by the sheer show of vocabulary, skill, and crafting that you have obviously put into this. You're building and fleshing out these characters to where they're more than characters--they're people. Which is something many writers seem to struggled with.

    I can see that this eventual TerryxGinny pairing is going to take a while. And you know what? I'm content to wait. You've impressed me. Beyond a doubt. Sure, we don't know all the details of why Ginny may feel the way she does or every characters' other motivations--but that's what keeps us reading books. Sometimes we don't find out until--BAM--plot twist right at the end. Never saw it comin'--slammin' right into left field. And that is real writing. That is publish-worthy writing.


    And you know what else? I love that you've chosen Terry Boot. Because this is the only pairing/story I have ever seen with him as a main character. I get so tired of reading about GinnyxHarry, GinnyxDraco, GinnyxHermoine (?!)--all these overused characters. What you've done is taken a background name and fleshed into a fully developed person. Like when JK mentioned Neville and then just picked him up and --WHAM, again--Neville is a main character now. Along with Luna and now, in recent books, Ginny.

    I have to salute you. This is, quite possibly, some of the finest quality 'amateur' (and I use that word losely in reguards to you) writing I have ever seen. And not just on this site. It's some of the finest I've ever seen.

    Tell me that you're going to do this for a career. Because if I pick something up in a bookstore one day and think, damn, this reminds me of that one fanfiction I read..., I'll have to buy it right away. You can only improve from here (because I'm sure you know a writer's work is never done). I'm looking forward to your progress.

    And about the bright spots. I wouldn't worry about it. This is a darker story. Not everything has to have smiles and ponies. And I'm sure Cristie (Was that the name...I'm sorry...I can't remember how it was spelled) didn't mean that, after all--she was very polite and respectful (not like some of the dickheads you'll meet here) and I don't want to offend. I mean, sure (i haven't read all this story yet, so forgive me), if you have an opportunity for a joke or two than by all means--take advantage of it. But if you haven't, you haven't. I can see that you're obviously advanced enough that you'll be able to pick out when that'll be. And there's no better moment than the right moment. And, as a writer, I'm sure you know (again) that sometimes, fabulous writing/jokes/whatever can be all about timing. Whether it's a well-played prank or a brutal death or sex under the stars--timing can make or break it sometimes. And I'm certain you'll be fine.


    Looking forward to finish reading these and continuing on. I think I may get an account here so I can add it to my favorites or whatever it is.


    Cheers.

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  • From ANON - Cristie on January 26, 2006
    Not too bad so far but it seems to be dragging a bit. I am still waiting for some actual interaction between Ginny and Terry. Sometimes when a writer gets too much into details it is hard to move the story along. Don't get me wrong, this story is very well written. It's just so depressing for so long that it is hard to keep my interest going. I've read all seven chapters in one go here and I am waiting for any bright spot possible. I still don't really understand why Ginny feels do seperated from her family. I look forward to seeing where you go with this though.
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  • From ANON - Hypatia on January 23, 2006
    This story is EXTREMELY well written.. .If it were not fanfic...I'd say it didn't belong on this site. Sort of like if J.K Rowling were possessed by the ghost of Iris Murdoch and set out to write Bridget Jones Diary.

    Sorry to hear of Arthur's death, but can't wait to see what you have in store for your readers next!
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  • From ANON - Sunny on January 20, 2006
    Damn. That's all I gotta say. Damn.
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  • From sailtheplains on January 18, 2006
    Hot damn, you've never written like that before! Fucking awesome. I can't wait to see the rest. I'm putting a shoutout about this in my next chapter of my story. Again and again, your imagery impresses me.

    Damn.
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  • From ANON - Hypatia on January 18, 2006
    What an absolutely BRILLIANT, well written first chapter!!
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